It's already been over a year and I still can't get over my ex, is this what people call an obsession?
Answer:
The only thing that got me over my ex was that another cool guy came along and wanted to date me. It was over a year when that happened.
it's either an obsession, you have a disorder, or can't move on, for some reason you don't want to move on, you're really needy, or you don't have a life.
Get a life, find a replacement (whether it be a hobby, a new person in your life, more education, a new career or business, etc. but get out of your rut)..
I know what you mean. I don't think it's an obsession at all.it's just that you can't help your feelings. There was this boy I used to really like a year ago and I told him, and his response was so mean it still brings me tears. I started hating him so much and got "revenge" which was something really stupid. But just yesterday I saw him and I was trying to look cool in front of him and I was kinda nervous and really happy. I guess I still have feelings for him even though he is really mean. Don't worry. You're not alone.
=)
Can be. But another better word is you have been "Traumatized by him" Once you have been violated and traumatized by a bully or evil person you can either have a hatred for that person or a strange attraction to them.
Worse still , that expereince may also set you up to be attracted to similar characteristic persons like the one who violated, abused and traumatized you.
You have been hynoptized without even knowing it.
To get out of it - stop resenting and hating him and you will be free. Gauranteed or your money back !
Well, I don't believe you have an obsession. I believe you are a person who tends to live in the past and dwell on things easily. You might also have a deep feeling inside you and an introvert, may I guess? You will get over it once you find someone else. If you still can't get over your ex while you find someone, then I guess it's like what it always says: "those who you can't get are the best".
if you really loved that person you may never get over them. If you see this person every day you may try being friends. I just started talking to an ex about a year age. we were together for over 7 years and did not speak for 5 years after that. because he doesn't like the person that i married. but anyway if you can get to be friends with this person keep it public and try to clear the air and find out what went wrong. that is how i was finually able to get over my ex and move on. just think about who may be waiting for to turn the corner on your life. you never really get over them because in a weird way they make you who you are. if this person was good how did they change you? if it was for the better than that made you a better person, etc. but in the end it will work out for the best
It's been 20 years for me and no closure. I have since gotten married, had kids, and now just think about him constantly, hoping that some day I will run into him. We had a friendly breakup, so that is part of the problem. I still feel that we were soulmates and that someday we will again be together.
I dont' think any amount of therapy will help. You just have to deal with it and put a smile on your face.
I would call it heartbreak. Love can hurt for many long years. Make a new life for yourself and when you start reminiscing try to remember the bad times and forget the good. Sounds crazy but it will help you if you'll try it. It's those over-romanticized memories that are hurting your heart. And tear up any old letters or momentos of the "good days" because you have suffered long enough. Time to move. Good luck.
Its been much longer for me personally. Obsessed? Maybe.
it can be. but when you start to meet new people those feelings start to go away.
Well, obsession is really relative to interpretation and situation based.
It may not be your obsessed with this person themselves in general but you maybe grasping for the feelings of security, companionship or love you have with them. I’ve been through it myself in the past not feeling like I could let go. But to truly move on in your life you must. Now I don’t know all the circumstances that lead to your break up or your mental history, but regardless. You are in a way obsessed with not wanting to let go of the happiness you felt. It may not even be the person anymore just the feelings you had with them. Then you may start to attribute good qualities they never had or make the time you spent with them look more positive then it was even in the end.
My best advice to you is stop trying to get over it and get over it. Admit to your self this person is gone from your life and don’t bash them or try to make them out to be a saint, just say we had the good times we had its over now and there are many ppl out there friends and family that love me and I know I can get over this and they will be there to help and understand. There are times melancholy and sadness will wash over you. When those times come don’t try to deny them just say their there and you feel sad but ill only feel sad if I let it affect me. Once you do this and you get out and start socializing again the pain will subside. You just need to take a break from dwelling on this and get back out there and meet someone. I know it sounds overly simplified but it’s true. When my fiancé left me for another guy, it took me years to get over it and I assumed I never would love anyone again. But I met a girl totally by accident not looking for one and she’s the best thing in my life never ever thought it would happen I was hung up on her. But as soon as I got close with this one, the dwelling vanished from my mind. Try it; it will work for you too. Just take it day by day. Good luck to you.
As a PhD (psychology) who has been married "4" times I can definitely tell you that you are "normal." Obsessive behavior is that which "insist" on something "regardless" and it doesn't seem like you have gotten any restraint orders yet for bugging your ex. Normally it takes a person "2" years before "new" patterns begin to take affect after any relationship or loss and you're not there "yet." If you need help getting over your ex seek it out and I don't say this to make a colleague money but telling you that "talking" it out with a therapist may do you some good. Before you get into any "other" relationship on the rebound, make sure you have resolved your "past" emotions with your ex as all you will do is carry over any resentment or unsettling feelings and emotions to someone whom who may hurt in the long run. Just remember, your ex is not the only woman in the world and just because it didn't work out with her does not mean it will not work out with someone else. After 4 times, I have now been with my present wife for the last 22 years and see no end in sight with this relationship so don't get depressed or into an inferiority complex over matters which have come to an end putting you in a position of guilt. Not each and every relationship works out and it is "normal" for not all people are meant to be with each other for good as the fire goes out in a world which demands much more than two people loving each other every minute of the day. You will evenually work out your thoughts and move on, and like I said, if you need someone to talk things out with, seek a trained professional who knows how to get you through it. Good Luck.......
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