How do you love yourself when you are being constantly criticized or attacked?
Answer:
..and it is easier to love yourself when no-one else does! It happens once in a while that people start questioning you on your decisions or anything else. Absolutely anything, however absurd. Just don't depend on them too much..so that you have to be loved by everyone else first, and then think about loving yourself? That would be the most mindless thing ever, if you ask me.
Maybe things never do go well, you just think that everything's okay. Perceptual reality. Be solipsistic, it's what in your mind that matters.
ignore them. people only attack when they have problems and want to bring others down with them. misery loves company.
also, take control of your emotions and be responsible. stop blaming others for your actions and emotions. otherwise you will become as weak as the others that try to bring you down.
its up to you!
awwwww
*****virtual hug*****
hope you feel better
You got to know what people see is what they are going to attack you on, and these people don't know the whole story that is you. I also think that a lot of people are crazy.
you are who you are and it's hard for people to change you. People will just have to accept that and like you for the way you are. Keep telling yourself things to make things feel better.
Also, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Survivial of the fittest. If someone g ives you criticism, try not to take it offensively and use it as a learning opportunity to improve yourself. It may not come across to you that way, but their criticism may help you in the future. Keep thinking positively and you'll love yourself.
Loving yourself has nothing to do with what's going on around you and what's being said. You know what your good qualities are, you know why you make the decisions you make, and you know what you're not so great at... when people don't support you just stick with the things you know and continue to assure yourself that nothing anyone else says can change those things unless you allow them to.
just always think positive about your self ignore all the bad things in your life u can always post a note to yourslef giving all good details about your self and a day when u are felling down u can read it out loud or think it in your mind, u can even have the note with u everyday if u want !!
u love ur self no matter wat peole say or do because the only option tat matters is yours pepole can say w/e they want but as long as u kno ur great it dont matter wat da haters think
i love myself by telling myself, "i am greater than them. they are just trying to get a simple reaction. i will show them that i can be all that i am and i will be the best i can be!"
You can start by not giving a toss what other people say about you.I know this sounds simple,but it's true.miserable people are never happy unless they've made at least one person as miserable as they are!Forget it,Honey!You cannot now,nor will you ever please everybody!It's awaste of time and precious energy.The next time this happens,just say,"Well,I'm me and you're not,so &%*@ off!TL
You can love yourself by creating boundaries. You can tell people to shut up and get out of your face and tell them that they have no right to talk to you that way. You can distance yourself from toxic people - and create a space or boundary of distance physically. Also, get caller id or do not let them talk to you on the phone. Create a safe place for yourself and then seek to be around more positive people who truly care about you and your well being.
There's a book called "Boundaries" - you can get it at most libraries. It is a very good book.
After reading the responses from the other answerers, it is obvious to me that they are from stable homes with supportive families. In reality, it's real damn tough to love yourself when you come from a background where no one else does. I'm not even sure you can. You might be able to function, but you might still not love yourself.
First you have to take into account what is being said. If its something about drugs or dangerous living, you might not want to hear it, but that doesn't make them wrong.
If its just the usual pick, pick, pick that people love to hand out then you have to be secure in yourself. You don't need a big ego, but you need enough of one to say to them, "Listen enough is enough, this is what I am and I like it and if you don't I'm sorry but this is it, what you see is what you get. Now lets discuss someone Else's shortcomings."
Say it firmly with a smile and they will get the message.
It depends on the situation you are in. If it was say a boy friend dump and move on to someone that appreciates you more. If it is a husband maybe a counselor might be in order. If it is your parents the same but maybe it is time to let them really know how you feel. If it were a friend think is that really how a friend would treat you.
Bottom line we need to feel good about ourselves and having negative people around can chip away at that no matter how hard we try. You need to love yourself enough to say what you are willing to tolerate. Evita
That's true
But we'll always have to remember, when people criticize us, more often than never it's just their own opinion that is subjective. And even this opinion is biased, in a way or another. That goes to show how far away it is from the truth
Sometimes when they actually finds that you're better then they are, they put you down by attacking you, trying to make themself feels better by make you feels more miserable than they are.
Keep a Daily Good Deed Diary. Everyone knows that at times all the criticism you receive isn't always fair or deserved. If you do a good deed every day, for no special reason, for example you see some trash where a person missed the can, pick it up, throw it in. Let someone with fewer groceries get ahead of you in line. Let the other person have the last word in an argument. Just say you are sorry without any explanation. Any little thing - BUT you can't TELL anyone what you are doing. Do this for one month and you will feel great, you won't be a perfect person, but you will absolutely know you are much better than you are being given credit for.
Cassidy, you'll know you truly love yourself when you are able to maintain that feeling even if you are being verbally attacked by people. You'll be able to recognize that they have a problem and are taking it out on you, and you won't let them change how you feel about yourself.
For example, a child who grows up in a family where the parents emotionally abuse him/her will grow up with negative feelings about himself, believing all the bad things the parents threw at him while growing up.
Then after therapy, he learns the difference between what he was told & what he really is. Ultimately, he learns to love himself and "toss out" all the lies that were told to him. This enables him to go out into the world with a clear sense of who he is and doesn't allow that to change when at times he confronts nasty people.
It's not only loving ourselves that matters, but also the belief that we are loveable. When we have those beliefs solidly in our minds & hearts, it's like a shield of armor that protects us when in the presence of toxic people. We have a choice about what kind of people we associate with; if they are toxic, we keep them out of our lives. Even if they are family members, thay have no right to abuse us, to demean us; so if they do, we don't have to keep them in our lives, no more than we would other people.
Of course, we are all going to come into contact with rude or nasty people in this world; it's unavoidable. But how we react to them is our choice. We don't have to let them make us feel bad. We can simply say, "you're rude" or whatever, and ignore them. Or we can laugh & simply walk away.
It's a bit harder if we're at a family member's house. But if we love ourselves & have self-respect, we will not put up with any abuse. We have the choice to leave. There should be no guilt just because they are relatives, since our first obligation is to take care of our health, not only physical, but emotional health as well.
The bottom line is if people are attacking us, we need to get away from the situation. We do not allow people to treat us that way, and if someone continues to treat us that way, it's unfortunate, but we need to write them out of our lives. We should surround ourselves with other caring, loving people who support us and respect us for who we are.
Once we love ourselves and truly respect ourselves for who we are, we will be able to separate the toxic people from the nurturing people. There should be no room in our lives for nasty people who hurt us. No one deserves that.
I gave this question a star just bc there were so many good answers!
I would say that if you're feeling bad about how you're being treated, then THAT is the part of you that knows that they are wrong! Pay attention to that part of you, find your solice, reason and strength there!
No, it won't be an easy thing to face what other people are putting you through, but you can grow out from under their shadows if you stay on your road.
Don't be afraid to face the truths you are going through. How are you being attacked? Is it painful because they are right; then don't be afraid to change. Is it painful because they are misjudging you; then stand up and tell them squarely and fairly what they are wrong about.
(And since you say you're no longer going through it, what do YOU think of it?)
I think you've got the right idea. Take an interest in others and in yourself. Sharing time and attention with others is good. There should be balance in relationships in terms of giving and receiving attention.
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