How do I make someone opptmistic again?
Someone really close to me has recently become extremely negative about life. This person was very open and happy due to his views. After paying of a financial burden, this person remains this way. It saddens me to see him this way and causes a deep mental strain. It's not that they are this way. This is person was very optimistic, but not anymore.
Answer:
I'm afraid there is nothing you can do or say that will instantly change your friend back. Opptimism and pesimism develop through personal events and experiences. It could be one specific event that caused this change, so when he has resolved it he may go back to "normal". However, it could be caused by a build up of a lot of things and has now got to the stage where its just too much for him. If things get a lot worse you could consider therapy or counselling, but tread very carefully with that one. My best advise is just to be there for him and don't give up on him. Just knowing you've got his back might be enough to bring him back. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both.
The releasing of a financial burden should be a happy thing. Something else might be preying on his mind... get him to talk about it.
show him you care and let him trust you. and it will all start from there. You can talk it out with him once you've build a positive image on him. Pray for him and you urself pls be optimistic to show him how beautiful the world is
I was in a similar situation. It may be some time before this person is back to there self. It may be that this person feels shame for getting into this financial situation. I believe all you can do is be there for this person and let him/her talk about it.
You should suggest counseling to this person. It would help greatly. If he is not willing to see a counselor, just talk to him
He may be suffering from depression, and may need medication
Don't lose hope. Keep reminding this person that he IS optimistic. You have to do this continuously, untill all his negetivity gets vanished by your own optimism and the optimism of people around him.
Nobody can make anybody else optimistic.Thats because it is a point of view from the individual,whatever experiences ,good or bad that this person has experienced it is up to that person to ask his or herself what is it I feel,Why do I feel this way,and if as you say that after a paying off of a financial matter he then became this way, then you need to get to what the actual problem is.Is it that the payment in his eyes was excessive,is it over or will they're be more and more of these payments throughout his life?Is it the fact that he resents paying,is it the fact that it is an issue of just MONEY" in my opinion matters of money aren't the real issues,but for some their lives are all about money,how much they have is who in their mind they are and if he had money and now he doesn't then he feels as though as Who he was he isn't anymore,Thats a reality check and a crossroad that needs crossing,so try to find out what exactly is so depressing for him.You really can't bring optimism to a person if you don't know why he isn't optimistic.You can give examples of optimism (the glass half empty or the glass half full) by puttibg out a few questions about life his or yours or anybodyies and ask in this scenario do you look at it as if its useless or do you, can you, would you be able to see a way to make it worth trying to tackel and to defeat any obsticle that perhaps in a negative view would seem useless but in a positive view can be overcome.Then you are left with the final question,after you have perhaps choose to overcome any obsticles,what is it that you've really gained?Now you get into some meaningful choices in life,What really matters to me?
You can't MAKE other people be the way you want.
You say that talking to him leads to fighting.
That's because everyone resents someone else telling them how to feel or that they have to change how they are.
I doubt the financial burden is really the problem; I'm guessing there's some sort of bitterness, that coincided with the financial aspect -- maybe was related to it, but it's probably not about that.
Unless your friend has never cared about anything but money -- in which case they may have simply realized that having money is not equivalent to happiness.
Anyway, as I say, you can't tell people to feel other than how they feel.
That's simply counter-productive.
You have to accept the person, or not deal with him anymore.
You don't specify what was going on, except it involved money, so it's hard to say what the real problem is.
You also don't give any hint as to how long ago things changed.
Sometimes it takes people a while to get over painful experiences.
But there's no way you can MAKE someone else optimistic, happy, or taller.
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Answer:
I'm afraid there is nothing you can do or say that will instantly change your friend back. Opptimism and pesimism develop through personal events and experiences. It could be one specific event that caused this change, so when he has resolved it he may go back to "normal". However, it could be caused by a build up of a lot of things and has now got to the stage where its just too much for him. If things get a lot worse you could consider therapy or counselling, but tread very carefully with that one. My best advise is just to be there for him and don't give up on him. Just knowing you've got his back might be enough to bring him back. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you both.
The releasing of a financial burden should be a happy thing. Something else might be preying on his mind... get him to talk about it.
show him you care and let him trust you. and it will all start from there. You can talk it out with him once you've build a positive image on him. Pray for him and you urself pls be optimistic to show him how beautiful the world is
I was in a similar situation. It may be some time before this person is back to there self. It may be that this person feels shame for getting into this financial situation. I believe all you can do is be there for this person and let him/her talk about it.
You should suggest counseling to this person. It would help greatly. If he is not willing to see a counselor, just talk to him
He may be suffering from depression, and may need medication
Don't lose hope. Keep reminding this person that he IS optimistic. You have to do this continuously, untill all his negetivity gets vanished by your own optimism and the optimism of people around him.
Nobody can make anybody else optimistic.Thats because it is a point of view from the individual,whatever experiences ,good or bad that this person has experienced it is up to that person to ask his or herself what is it I feel,Why do I feel this way,and if as you say that after a paying off of a financial matter he then became this way, then you need to get to what the actual problem is.Is it that the payment in his eyes was excessive,is it over or will they're be more and more of these payments throughout his life?Is it the fact that he resents paying,is it the fact that it is an issue of just MONEY" in my opinion matters of money aren't the real issues,but for some their lives are all about money,how much they have is who in their mind they are and if he had money and now he doesn't then he feels as though as Who he was he isn't anymore,Thats a reality check and a crossroad that needs crossing,so try to find out what exactly is so depressing for him.You really can't bring optimism to a person if you don't know why he isn't optimistic.You can give examples of optimism (the glass half empty or the glass half full) by puttibg out a few questions about life his or yours or anybodyies and ask in this scenario do you look at it as if its useless or do you, can you, would you be able to see a way to make it worth trying to tackel and to defeat any obsticle that perhaps in a negative view would seem useless but in a positive view can be overcome.Then you are left with the final question,after you have perhaps choose to overcome any obsticles,what is it that you've really gained?Now you get into some meaningful choices in life,What really matters to me?
You can't MAKE other people be the way you want.
You say that talking to him leads to fighting.
That's because everyone resents someone else telling them how to feel or that they have to change how they are.
I doubt the financial burden is really the problem; I'm guessing there's some sort of bitterness, that coincided with the financial aspect -- maybe was related to it, but it's probably not about that.
Unless your friend has never cared about anything but money -- in which case they may have simply realized that having money is not equivalent to happiness.
Anyway, as I say, you can't tell people to feel other than how they feel.
That's simply counter-productive.
You have to accept the person, or not deal with him anymore.
You don't specify what was going on, except it involved money, so it's hard to say what the real problem is.
You also don't give any hint as to how long ago things changed.
Sometimes it takes people a while to get over painful experiences.
But there's no way you can MAKE someone else optimistic, happy, or taller.
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