Could it be my father's fault I'm horrible in relationships?
Ive have a complicated relationship with my father, i cant rely on him.
My friends think this is the reason i have a difficult time with relationships. Its hard for me to trust guys. Is it possible?
Is there something psychological behind it?
Answer:
Once your grown it can't be any-ones fault that your in a horrible relationship but your own..however, with that said your relationship with your father does effect the type of men you are attracted to, and how you interact with them.
In general most women gravitate to men like their fathers. Start considering those things you really do not like about your father, and when you see those signs in a potential boyfriend consider them RED FLAGS! I used to have the same problem, this system of "red-flagging" really helped me to weed out the guys that; although I was attracted to them (because again, it is what you know, it is at the core of your relationship with males) were not good to, or for me.
Good Luck
there may be psychology behind it, it may be due to your relationship with your dad but past the age of 18, you are an adult now and everything you do is because you want to do it. Take responsibility for your actions. You may have developed some defensive mechanisms that worked as a kid but are now working against you. If you don't fix it, you will end up alone and it will have no effect on your dad.o your relationship with your dad may have started it, but you are the one continuing with the behavior now
It depends. If you're that worried about it, talk to your dad and stuff, maybe go see your doctor as well. If you cause bad relationships on purpose, then yeah, it's kinda your fault. If it's just accidental, out of the blue things, then it's not really.
It's quite possible. But you should remember that it isn't COMPLETELY his fault (aka don't just blame him for all of your problems- do something about it). Since you have realized that your dad may have caused you to have problems with trusting guys maybe you should try to push yourself to be more trusting- ask yourself "If he was a girl would I think he was lying to me right now?" and similar questions.
You also have to make sure you don't become naive either though.
yes there very well might be but its only if you think that.I have a college degree as a phychologist. All you have to do is think that your life is nothin like your fathers and you have a completly different life, but if you let all those thoughts of that in your mind it may cause you to lose self-easteam.
I'm no physiologist but I have the same problems with my grandpa, he's not trying to bug you or nothing, he wants to make sure the guy totally breaks your heart, he's just trying to help, what I'm saying is, he's OVER PROTECTIVE. It's just his way of raising you, forget he's there, just follow your heart, and sometimes finding the right guy can be difficult. It's really no ones fault, maybe u should just let him know that you can make your own decisions.
Yes, it could. However if you label yourself under the messed-up-by-daddy-can't hold on to- a- relationship kinda girl, you are setting yourself up for future failure.
Look at the things that have adversely affected you in your relationship with your father, then figure out how you are projecting that to your current relationships. Are you insecure? Needy? Looking for approval? Take up a project on an issue you are good at and achieve success in it- it could be sports, arts, business, charity, singing to a child, anything, then share it with the guy you are going out with and see how he reacts. A healthy guy would celebrate your success and cheer for you. Then observe your own reaction towards his approach and during this process you will be able to self-analyze and figure out where you are starting to project the negative behaviour on your guy that is based on your inability to rely on your father.
Knowing the source of the problem is more than half of fixing it, so go for it.
If it bears out to be too much to handle on your own, you can always seek a counselor, in school at church etc.
Hope this helps, and wish you the best.
oh. so your father is playing some hocos pocos on you? and voodoo dolls? did he get you into the relationships you are in now? probably not.
Well, yeah he might have done some damage, but you're the one who needs to address it and it is done by FORGIVING your father .
This is what God is waiting for you to do so he can really bless you with relationships that work.
Could be. Since most studies on daughter and father relationship have an impact on their childhood days when their father is away, or the father is the molester..etc.
If the only reason is relaying messages or you cannot speak to him personally, I think that could be change. The way you approach the problem is the key. Because in your case, you are building walls instead of bridges to get across to your father. Which is typically wrong, he is your flesh and blood, and as they say blood is thicker than water. I donot know about your culture, since I pressume you are an American but as being an Asian, no matter how much hatred we feel about our parents there is still love somewhere there at the end of the tunnel. Nothing last forever, even our parents will never be with us for so long, so why not show them the love and the longing we have for we may never pass this way again.
Trusting guys and about your father relationship is not the same. For me, since I am a guy there is no real connection between the two, I think it is all in your head. I think you are right when you told here that maybe you need a psychologist regarding this.
sorry, but only for one a person's , you can't make yourself horrible in relationship. In life it does happen, forget all those thing and try to make relation, do just opposite what you think about that, that will give you new experience of life. when you will be better then now, your father may act to as you want and the it is also possible that you can rely on him.Be Positive about relation everything will be right.
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My friends think this is the reason i have a difficult time with relationships. Its hard for me to trust guys. Is it possible?
Is there something psychological behind it?
Answer:
Once your grown it can't be any-ones fault that your in a horrible relationship but your own..however, with that said your relationship with your father does effect the type of men you are attracted to, and how you interact with them.
In general most women gravitate to men like their fathers. Start considering those things you really do not like about your father, and when you see those signs in a potential boyfriend consider them RED FLAGS! I used to have the same problem, this system of "red-flagging" really helped me to weed out the guys that; although I was attracted to them (because again, it is what you know, it is at the core of your relationship with males) were not good to, or for me.
Good Luck
there may be psychology behind it, it may be due to your relationship with your dad but past the age of 18, you are an adult now and everything you do is because you want to do it. Take responsibility for your actions. You may have developed some defensive mechanisms that worked as a kid but are now working against you. If you don't fix it, you will end up alone and it will have no effect on your dad.o your relationship with your dad may have started it, but you are the one continuing with the behavior now
It depends. If you're that worried about it, talk to your dad and stuff, maybe go see your doctor as well. If you cause bad relationships on purpose, then yeah, it's kinda your fault. If it's just accidental, out of the blue things, then it's not really.
It's quite possible. But you should remember that it isn't COMPLETELY his fault (aka don't just blame him for all of your problems- do something about it). Since you have realized that your dad may have caused you to have problems with trusting guys maybe you should try to push yourself to be more trusting- ask yourself "If he was a girl would I think he was lying to me right now?" and similar questions.
You also have to make sure you don't become naive either though.
yes there very well might be but its only if you think that.I have a college degree as a phychologist. All you have to do is think that your life is nothin like your fathers and you have a completly different life, but if you let all those thoughts of that in your mind it may cause you to lose self-easteam.
I'm no physiologist but I have the same problems with my grandpa, he's not trying to bug you or nothing, he wants to make sure the guy totally breaks your heart, he's just trying to help, what I'm saying is, he's OVER PROTECTIVE. It's just his way of raising you, forget he's there, just follow your heart, and sometimes finding the right guy can be difficult. It's really no ones fault, maybe u should just let him know that you can make your own decisions.
Yes, it could. However if you label yourself under the messed-up-by-daddy-can't hold on to- a- relationship kinda girl, you are setting yourself up for future failure.
Look at the things that have adversely affected you in your relationship with your father, then figure out how you are projecting that to your current relationships. Are you insecure? Needy? Looking for approval? Take up a project on an issue you are good at and achieve success in it- it could be sports, arts, business, charity, singing to a child, anything, then share it with the guy you are going out with and see how he reacts. A healthy guy would celebrate your success and cheer for you. Then observe your own reaction towards his approach and during this process you will be able to self-analyze and figure out where you are starting to project the negative behaviour on your guy that is based on your inability to rely on your father.
Knowing the source of the problem is more than half of fixing it, so go for it.
If it bears out to be too much to handle on your own, you can always seek a counselor, in school at church etc.
Hope this helps, and wish you the best.
oh. so your father is playing some hocos pocos on you? and voodoo dolls? did he get you into the relationships you are in now? probably not.
Well, yeah he might have done some damage, but you're the one who needs to address it and it is done by FORGIVING your father .
This is what God is waiting for you to do so he can really bless you with relationships that work.
Could be. Since most studies on daughter and father relationship have an impact on their childhood days when their father is away, or the father is the molester..etc.
If the only reason is relaying messages or you cannot speak to him personally, I think that could be change. The way you approach the problem is the key. Because in your case, you are building walls instead of bridges to get across to your father. Which is typically wrong, he is your flesh and blood, and as they say blood is thicker than water. I donot know about your culture, since I pressume you are an American but as being an Asian, no matter how much hatred we feel about our parents there is still love somewhere there at the end of the tunnel. Nothing last forever, even our parents will never be with us for so long, so why not show them the love and the longing we have for we may never pass this way again.
Trusting guys and about your father relationship is not the same. For me, since I am a guy there is no real connection between the two, I think it is all in your head. I think you are right when you told here that maybe you need a psychologist regarding this.
sorry, but only for one a person's , you can't make yourself horrible in relationship. In life it does happen, forget all those thing and try to make relation, do just opposite what you think about that, that will give you new experience of life. when you will be better then now, your father may act to as you want and the it is also possible that you can rely on him.Be Positive about relation everything will be right.
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