Whats happens in codependent relationship?
Answer:
Yes that is true! Being co-dependant is very unhealthy! You tend to rely on the other person for everything! If you become independant then you both will prosper in life a lot better. You both have to learn to do things on your own and not depend on other people. If you are in a relationship like that then one of you is an enabler and the othe is the co-dependant. It wears you both down and neither one of you will get anywhere in life and you both will be very unhappy! The relationship can work out if you both get some help for this. Both parties must be willing to do their equal share of the work though.
the Iraq war?
To be codependent is to lose sense of self and to allow others to define who you are. Many times it does mean to depend solely on another person to survive. Becoming independent will indeed break the cycle...but that means establishing boundaries with the one you've been codependent with. Many times when the codependent person changes, the relationship falls apart...not that it's a bad thing! That kind of relationship is a very unhealthy one! Best book to read about this is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.
You pretty much know the answer! You are right, relationships do grow and change overtime. Every time we interact with others our relations with them tend to change. However codependent people are usually controlling, don't trust others, and avoid dealing with feelings and are pretty much set in there ways. The first step to recovery is understanding the problem at hand, second is working on listening skills, communication, interaction and assertiveness. In order for us to have healthier relationships with others both parties must come to realize they want change. Think of it like this a relationship is like conjoined twins, the two must agree on where they want to go before they can go. Until then they are standing still in the same place. Its all about teamwork and trust.
when i was a contributor to the bbw section of a chatroom i used to argue ferociously night after night with the girls even though i couldn't understand why they didn't use their ignore button and why i was still coming back for more-i realise now that this was a codependent relationship and that both sides were locked into it as although it was a very unsatisfactory situation both sides were trapped by lack of opportunity and a need to vent frustration
of course the books will tell you that you must identify and then move on from these relationships but it is a bit like saying that if you don't like serving drinks to bums in a dive that you should switch to serving hamburgers to bums who ride bikes
several of the books stress that sparks will fly when you try to renogotiate the terms of your friendship because the other person will feel confused and threatened and in my experience as least their response to your new conditions is to point out faults of yours and they will feel that you are making yourself unavailable or being difficult
surely the real problem here is that most people simply behave instinctively and that they are not analyzing it and reading it from a book;they signed up for a fixed quantity and that is you as they first knew you
add to this that most people are overwhelmingly stupid,self centred and these days rushed off their feet and distracted by trivialities and you must sense that you are running into a shitstorm going ahead with this;there are many excellent books on codependency and other psychological problems and one of my favourite pieces of madness is srikumar rao's 'are you ready to succeed?' it seems wet to make up part of your life profile from a book but they do know how people's minds and these books are fun;don't take them too literally
but there are some people out here who understand the underlying issues but they are few and far between
your task is to find,identify and cultivate these people-this tape will self destrust in five seconds,good luck
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: