You lie to me you lie to me, what can i do??
what to do to cope with a person OBSESSED that you are telling lies when ur telling the ******* truth almost all the time!!
your lie to me, why do you lie to me? why why??
and they dont listen!!
im not ******* doing it! arghh
help me
Answer:
You don't say why this person thinks you are lying. Do they have facts and/or incidents that can't be explained? I don't know what it is they are accusing you of lying about, but if they have issues and they ask you about some piece of "evidence" that clearly seems to implicate you, are you able to reasonably and logically explain why it looks so damning and how or why it is misleading, or do you leave them with vague answers like, "I don't know why you've found something that clearly makes me look guilty because I didn't do it." In the face of hard evidence that sort of answer can be pretty frustrating to receive - especially if you receive it more than just a few times.
My personal situation is that I'm in the position of fearing I'm being lied to and have heard, "I don't know how or why you found something that makes me look so guilty, and I'm not going to offer you anything else to ease your worried mind" type answers given in increasingly angry tones. That leaves me not only wondering if I'm being lied to-it also makes me wonder if the person who is saying these things really gives a damn about me at all.
If you're truly not lying, isn't there some way you can disprove things that appear to be hard facts or evidence? If, on the other hand, they are just making up accusations out of thin air that have no basis at all, then maybe the problem is much deeper between the two of you.
Which one of you gets angry and/or unreasonable first when trying to address specific incidents? I've found that if someone is lying, they often try to take the pressure off their flimsy stories by turning on the other person & trying to accuse them of the very things they're doing, or rather than answering they simply cut off any constructive discussions by saying something like, "you're just too paranoid and accuse me of lying about everything".
If you actually are being accused of vague lies about everything, then I think the other person might have a problem. However, if you're answering very specific concerns they have about concrete issues by making vague accusations about them just being paranoid or crazy (especially if they have what could be seen as legitimate evidence of hidden truths that you refuse to address), then maybe you're the one with the problem.
I am kind of curious about why you said that you're "telling the ******* truth MOST of the time". Why not all of the time? It can't be helpful in building trust with this person if you're deciding that sometimes it's okay to not tell the truth. Especially if you have a close relationship where this person might sometimes be able to tell you're lying through non-verbal messages you might not know you're sending. If it's obvious that you're lying sometimes, it can be very hard for the other person to not become even more suspicious about everything - after all, if you think it's okay to lie about some things, then why wouldn't you think it's okay to lie about anything you want to? Then again, maybe I misinterpreted you're statement about telling the truth "most of the time". If that's the case I'm sorry, but it does look a little odd.
Have you tried simply telling this person that you recognize they have found things that a reasonable person would find suspicious, and that although you don't know why this keeps happening you wish you could get to the bottom of it as much as they want to?
Do you resist the temptation to get angry and turn on them instead of addressing their specific concerns? Just having someone respond to you with love and reassurance rather than anger, scorn and derision can make a huge difference in easing fears rather than adding fuel to the awful fires that keep suspicions burning. Take it from me - it's what I've been looking for and needing so badly, and I can't get past my worries when the most frequent responses come in the form of snide comments and nasty accusations regarding my mental state of health.
What I am finally realizing is that I have to accept that the snide and critical responses I'm receiving from this person I love so much (clearly too much) are telling me that I am not important enough to them to make them willing to compromise their pride enough to reach out to help me believe - is that how you want your situation to be resolved? If not, then maybe try to convince them of your honesty with love and openness, and if you truly feel you've already been doing that but to no avail, then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm sorry that I can't be of any real help because I know how painful this sort of situation can be. I hope for both of you that you can resolve this in a way that makes you happy.
Thanks for reading any parts of my response, and I'm sorry to go on for so long - I get a little worked up about this issue...
Whoever it is,they are a sick puppy! Get a new one!
There must be something you're doing or saying that makes her think so...It's hard to keep lying to people! They end up with the truth eventually. But if you aren't lying, sit down and discuss this with her! Calmly!
then dont talk to them. walk away and you'll be the winner of it all when later on down the track, they find out you didn't lie.
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