How to size up a situation, connect to the emotion and rip in real time?
I have a lot on my mind right now... but I've always had trouble with living in the moment.
How do you become more attune with all of the variables at play and your emotions to back it up. Perhaps it's just natural, but I can't keep letting things like this slip by when the occur.
Answer:
..Probably the shortfall you describe has happened to everyone on the planet. "Rats! I see now that should have handled that differently."
I think the ability to weigh what's happening real time and say just the right thing comes with life experience. I'm 62 and pretty damn smart, if I say so myself, but I tell you what...this sort of thing still happens to me from time to time.
You want to know the bottom line? It doesn't matter. If you didn't handle the situation perfectly, reflect on it, as you're doing now. Learn from it as best you can. Then move on. Don't let it bother you.
20/20 hind-sight the saying goes.
It is hard to stay in the moment if you are brooding about the past or planning for the future all the time. No human has the ability to have a preset reply for every event.
When you are presented with experiences like the surprise attack you mentioned, stop you mind, take a deep breath (you might even give an audible "Hmmm" to let the others know that you heard the remark.
You might ignore it (big deal or not) or consider the first thing that pops into your mind. This is usually a message from your unconscious. Do not say it aloud, but consider the context. You will often find the words to reply, even if it is only "In your dreams" or "I should have known that you would come up with something like that".
Avoid name-calling. A simple "Sure" or "Sure it is (or I am)" is often better than saying nothing. If the other was trying to push your buttons, make it difficult for them to know what buttons they are pushing.
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