My mother death?
Answer:
Jen --
Life can bring some major trouble and hurdles for any of us at any given time -- your's came at a very unfortunate time in your life -- and with such force as to overwhelm you !!
Life can also bring major good -- look around you -- you have a husband and two super kids -- This in and of itself should be at least a start of a place to find SOME base to stand firm on !!
When you allow the trauma of the past to infect your present situation -- you are simply letting the actions of a rabid lunatic and the actions carried out BY him -- to invade your present day life and rob your security and life WITH your family -- you allow him to steal your being what you need to be FOR your husband and children -- and in that --- you're allowing him to infect your CHILDREN as well -- because if YOU are not secure and solid for THEM -- they will not feel secure and solid within the household which YOU are the parent in !
Anyone can "dream up" a thousand "things" of negative nature to worry about when it comes to the things that "might happen" !! But, worry never actually Stopped anything bad from happening -- nor has it ever Solved anything bad that MIGHT happen !! So, worry is worthless ! Period !
You have got to gain control over your life -- or this thing will eat at what you have OF a life until it robs the days from you one at a time --- and soon, the good that you could have seen within your lifetime will be nothing more than a dream !!
There are professional people who specialize in this type of trauma counseling -- they are available all over the globe --- find one of these people and get a conversation started here !! It very well could save your own life !
One rapid word here -- I wish you the absolute best in your endeavors to defeat this problem that has a grip on you --- and even more toward you getting closure with the location, and justice with whoever this worm is that purpetrated this upon you and your family --- I do know that the AMW people are extremely good at what they do -- and they do this at no expense to the families that they help !
Good luck to you ----- and --- God's speed in finding the help you need here -- and in seeing this rabid dog put down !!
I can't get over my mother's death either. But in my case I lost her to cancer 5 yrs ago. I still dream about her though and talk about her with my friends as if she were still alive. I'm now 30 yrs old and I'd have to move on sooner or later so that my mother can rest in peace for good.
Jen my dear, I am deeply touched by your story and I am so sorry that this hapenned to your mother. I would suggest that you go for trauma counselling or something like that.
As for your being afraid of dying, take comfort in knowing that we all are - and every mother fears that hapenning to her kids, every wife fears that hapenning to her husband. I am exactly like you - always afraid if my husband doesn't come home on time. I've tried to ask him to notify me but he doesn't always do it.
My mom was very ill last year and she was literally saying her goodbyes. I counselled myself by telling myself that I was not
crying out of pity for my mother, but out of pity for myself - that I was going to have to live without her.
For me, the way to get rid of all these fears is by faith in God. Fear is the opposite of faith and I do believe that I will never have to bury a child - be it mine, my siblings', friends, colleagues or any child for that matter. I also believe and pray that death of young people be forbidden...
Most of all, death is a certainty for all of us - let us just pray that it only happens when we have all had a chance to live and let live.
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