Hung out with friend, didn't talk. How to avoid a) losing friend b) depression?

I've been friends with this girl who is no longer in my college classes for 2 years. We email almost daily. Today is the first time we went out and did something un-school related though, and we had nothing to talk about.

The thing is, I'm really attached to her. I don't think I've ever felt this way about another woman before. I admire her and we actually have a lot in common. I definitely have more than friends feelings for her; I always want to do stuff to make her happy. I feel jealous when I think of her and her boyfriend, yet also want the best for her because I do care and it's not just a crush.

I feel like after today though, it's out the window! We barely talked and it was so awkward. I'm afraid what this means for our friendship. We've been through a lot, but now that school is over it's like there isn't that structure. We live far away and won't see each other again for a while, if at all.

I don't want to lose her, but I'm afraid I will. What can I do?

Answer:
Take it easy, learn to love yourself. Your still able to email each other and you should carry on with that. If you both have mobiles then you can txt her and chat that way. Play online games, tell her stuff about your day. If she is interested in you then you will remain friends for a long time. I have an email contact from 10 years ago, never seen her or dated together but we chat when we are online.
My girlfriend lived 8000 miles away and we are from very different cultures. Now she is my wife, so stick with it and good things can happen.
Take some time, give your self a couple of weeks without contacting her, then after that see how you feel then.
I know it's hard. ♥
Of course you had nothing to talk about, you have been doing nothing but talk over the Internet.
When you meet in person it is time for actually doing things. Anything from racing Go-Karts to parachuting. You know what I mean. It is time to do something that you can talk about until you meet again.
Really can't do anything right now, you need to learn how to comfort yourself,
do your favour like watching movie, reading, dancing, singing, yoga, meditation, facial, spa,and try to recognise more new friend, do something can make you happy

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