If you were handicapped and in a wheelchair how would you go about finding happiness?
Answer:
About the social situations:
I know where you're coming from! Does it feel like you've got this interesting thing to say, but when you say it, it turns out to be...not that cool...and then you just trail off in a mumble? And then it's awkward. It happens to me occasionally, admittedly, with people I am really trying to impress. I am definitely working on this. I find that sometimes just being quieter and putting a thoughtful smile on your face will do the trick. Don't put too much thought into everything you say. This may lead to it sounding too planned-out and calculated. When you have something that truly feels natural and not too "witty," it should come out with some ease, and just let it flow from there. If that doesn't work out or the people don't really latch on, just don't worry about it too much. I often worry that people don't like me, but then I may hear that they have no such negative feelings or, on the contrary, that they had a positive impression. A worrier, I am, and a worrier I will always be, but it's definitely something that can be improved, if not cured. Perhaps this is your problem too?
As for degrading yourself constantly, well, that is a very tempting and human thing to do. Making excuses for how you are lifts the possible guilt of not maybe not meeting expectations of what you should be. I never want to disappoint, so sometimes I just try to lower people's expectations of me, the easier way out. Now that I have a job, this is something I'm trying to avoid! Again, it's just a matter of not doubting yourself.
As for your handicap-this is NOT a socially-crippling problem. People are amazingly (and unexpectedly) accepting of all kinds. The good people, the ones that do not carry around huge weights in needless preconceptions and those that are not painfully ignorant (why would you want to associate with them anyways?) will generally not care about any sort of meaningless stigmas. People will not treat you differently if you don't ask them to. If you go up to a room of people, smile, and greet them normally, they will not look at you as some weird guy who is not the same as them because he cannot walk. No, you are a potential contributor to the group! Who knows what you could bring to the table? Spend some time discovering yourself!
Socially, physically; everyone has insecurities. The confident people are the ones that can mask or deal with them the most effectively.
YOU are a valuable human with the potential of an entire species locked away in you somewhere. As cliche as this sounds, your depressive state will pass eventually. Keep your chin up!
If I were in your situation I would do whatever made me happy. ex. if I liked computers I would learn more about it and get good at it. if you want to talk to people try to be a little more out going or try a chat room. be yourself no matter what. Do what makes you happy no matter what.that's what I would do.
Find something you do very well, then practice that untill you are better than anyone at it... make it something you love... and the money and popularity and friends will follow...first and foremost, be your own friend. You are a useful human being, you have been handed an obstacle to deal with. Will you live with it or over come it? The rest of your life is yours to live. Will you live or cope?
We have a young man who lives in our condo. He was on his way home
one night and hit black ice. He is paralyzed from the waist down. He will
always be in a wheel chair but he is doing something with his life. He is
still married to the same girl. He is a good mechanic and works on cars.
He is very limited in some ways but when I look at him, it's hard to see
the chair for his confidence. You need to pick up and carry on. You are very
useful. When your self esteem takes a hit, then you have to say to yourself
I can do this, I am not finished, where there is breath there is life. Find
something you are good at and make use of it. You have so much
potential. I wonder if you are a little bit scared to make friends because
you think because of your limitations that they won't want to be your
friends. Our friend had every reason to be bitter but he has learned to
cope. You can, too. Say to yourself over and over if you have to that " I am
a Champion! I can do anything I want to!!" The best of everything to you.
You can do it. xx
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: