How come I don't naturally seek out companionship?
You can look at my other questions too cuz I whine about this in them too.
Answer:
I agree that fear is the reason you don't seek out companionship.
I think you're afraid of what people might think of you, and I think you are way to hard on yourself.
If you don't like yourself, then what makes you think that others are going to like you? You should try to produce a more optimistic view on life, and yourself.
For example: Don't think the worse is going to happen if you break out of your shy shell and say hi to a stranger, and don't remind yourself of what you've never had...etc.
You should think the best possible outcome of anything you're going to do in life, and you should live in the now, not the past and try to have fun in life while you can. All you have to do is love you.
Some people don't need the affirmation and support that is gained from social contact. My friend Sarah has few friends and no romantic interest at all, and she's perfectly happy the way she is. It's just the way you are, no worries.
TO HAVE FRIENDS YOU MUST PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. ASK YOURSELF WHAT WOULD MAKE ME SEEM INTERESTING TO PEOPLE. YOU SAID YOU NEVER HAVE HAD A GIRL FRIEND. DO YOU LIKE GIRLS OR GUYS??
If you don't naturally seek companionship.do you care? I mean, is it a problem.you either want and seek out others or ya don't.each to their own, man!
Fear is the reason.
It sounds like you do naturally seek out companionship, you just let your shyness get in the way, and it's making you really unhappy.
If you want to find some companions, start by doing something you like to do - or trying something new that you've always wanted to. College is great for this since there's a club for everything - and you will automatically have a common interest with everyone else in the club. It's really hard to make the first step and go to your first meeting (or whatever), but in my experience it almost always pays off. And even if you don't make any friends, at least you got to do something you wanted to.
Plus, having hobbies has the additional benefit of making you more interesting to other people. If you ask someone what they've been up to and they say something like "nothing" or "same old, same old", it makes it really hard to have a conversation with them, and you'll probably want to move on to another person. But, if they say something like "oh I just went rock climbing this weekend" or "I was building a bicycle" or whatever, it's much easier to start a conversation with them because they've actually given you something to work with - plus you might even have the same hobby as them.
I was cripplingly shy for the first 20+ years of my life and didn't have any friends... I'm still shy now (25), but it doesn't get in the way like it used to. I have friends and hobbies and even a girlfriend. It gets a lot easier once you make the first step. Okay, a little therapy helped too.
Everyone's different, friend, and that's ok. But you really do need to understand yourself here very well.
Almost everyone is significantly happier when they have relationships and interpersonal interaction in their lives. We are social beings by nature, after all.
But there are many people who have social issues that make them uncomfortable in many settings. Some are shy about meeting people (like me), others can meet and chitchat but are afraid to become close, and there's a spectrum between those. But most of these would love to be in solid relationships -- their social issues are simply a barrier.
Make sure what you're describing isn't just a barrier that you avoid, or you'll lead a life of quiet depression that will benefit no one, especially yourself.
Good luck!
You are afraid of people not accepting you . Other people not going to love you unless you love yourself first.
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