Is it normal to have very little compassion for ones parents?
Now o feel like my mother and father are trying to be apart of my life but i do not feel any compassion for them. i am an adult now- a college graduate and i feel like they want to be apart of my life because they want something from me. i hate howe this is making me feel and i need to know if what i am feeling is normal and what should i do.
Answer:
I went through a lot of the same things you did, and I feel pretty much the same way. All I can say is emotional abuse is far worse than physical abuse & luckily you pulled through. My mom is now trying to do the same thing. there is so much damage it's hard to accept but I'm trying. You can't undo the past. I know it's hard to forgive but you should.Then you won't feel guilty. It clears you in the guilt dept. You can only appreciate what a good person you became from your strength. They are your parents but don't give them anything you have earned monitarily, if that's what you see they want. Keep it to the high road & the weather. Thats what I do. Good Luck
For someone who has been abused as much as you have, and to have them suddenly trying to get back in touch with you, i'm amazed you're not madder than you are, but i think you've done you best to deaden your feelings for your parents completely.
As your brothers and sisters have shown by their actions: your parents are toxic. The less you have to do with them the better life will be for you.
with your past how could you want to be apart of that how could you show compassion!
my father had nothing to do with me untill i hunted him down! I looked at him and said Art you were not there for me in the past but i can't live in the past so lets leave it there and be there for me now! He proofed to me that he would be there for me and he still is!
I'm not sure if he felt bad or if he is proud of the human i am!
but it was hard growing up knowing he was a drunk. it was best that he was not apart of my life!
you should do what you want to do! I can't tell you to forgive them but i will anyway! it's such a wonderful feeling!
but if you think they are wanting something just be strong and don't give it to them!
and drill the with questions of the past use them for your benifit if you accept them in your life!
people can change maybe not 100% but they can! change some at least!
address the issues that exist within with your parents,only then will the truth come out.
i'm sorry for what you've gone through in life. if you will analyze your past , you will see that you'd rather not witness the abusive life your parents had. you should be thankful in a way that you were spared of all the emotional and physical pain if you stayed with your parents.
same thing with your other siblings. they chose to leave than to suffer everyday seeing your parents like that. life wasn't easy for you but you have passed it with your courage and maturity.
it is up to you if you want to share whatever you have with your parents. but first, forgive them for you will not experience true peace and happiness if you have grudge on anyone. forgive them and search in your heart if you can spare an ounce of kindness for them, to help them. good luck!
Well, you , unlike them have a compassionate side. In spite of your childhood you grew up with some values. Maybe , just maybe, the parents have finally realized that as parents they didn't quite qualify for the title. A little to late if you are unable to forgive them and possible have a relationship with them. But, if you find that they are there to use you , then it is your right to cross them off you list if you choose to.
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