How do I deal with my insecurity issues?
Answer:
First, the way you are living: is no way to live. If it hasn't already will eventually dampen your marriage and cause anxiety and depression. Second, the way the mind works and it's intensity is beyond words. With that said, it's all about re-conditioning your mind and the way it works and thinks. consider personal or marriage therapy or counseling and writing ina journal is a fantastic way of "venting" and mentally expressing whatevers on your mind. Third, there is NOTHING wrong with liking to hear I Love You from your husband. Everyone (whether they admit it or not) enjoys/likes being reassured their partner/husband/boyfriend/girl... etc. is into them. Last, everytime you start thinking "why is she looking at me" or "I can tell by the way..." etc, say to yourself "I DON'T CARE". The bottom line is: we (humans) are here on Earth (hopefully) for 100 years, it's not a long time. So, enjoy it and appriciate every single moment.
Well its a good step that you are facing these issues and talking about them. I would write down how you feel in a journal. Just try and believe in yourself and hey, you have a man that loves you right? That's a wonderful thing.
Try to challenge your thoughts. Write down the things you like about yourself and all the things you do well. Then try to think of those things when you are feeling insecure. Try to remind yourself that the "bad" things you are thinking about yourself are not real. You can get into a habit of believing bad things about yourself, so try to reverse the habit. You can do it since you realize that these negative thoughts are a problem.
How old are you? When I was younger I had this belief that my husband and I had to do everything together, "now that we're married"...I realized as I grew older that he and I are both independent people and need time to ourselves too, though.
Once I got over the fear of trying new things, all by myself, I realized that I could actually do it! I signed up for a class in something that interested me and soon learned how good company I can be with other people. I love doing new things by myself now and meeting people I have similar interests with. My husband is free to do what he loves and then when we do spend time together it's even nicer! We enjoy eachothers company.
So, maybe it would help to know you are good company both for yourself and others, and maybe you can try learning new things. It will help bring your self esteem up and your hubby will notice. :) More importantly you will notice too. :) best wishes.
It sounds like you have a poor self image and that you consistently need to be reassured that you are worthy. Clingy is usually twins sisters with jealousy and suspicion. Of course if you need to be reassured that ppl think you are a worthwile wonderful person, you are going to be suspicious that they are not at all thinking that. But the truth is, YOU are not at all thinking that. Others most likely think you are a caring loving individual who puts others before herself.
Step 1: find out who YOU are. Why you are a Worhty individual on your own. Look up codependecy.
Step 2: Learn to say "thank you" and truly believe when ppl and your husband say they love you. and say "i love me too". reassure yourself so that others dont have to. B/c ultimately, if you rely on others to make you feel secure in your relationships, you will never be satisfied.
Allow, even encourage-the very worst possible things to happen. Set your husband up to be alone with the woman most likely to initiate an affair with him.
Arrange for it to happen regularly.
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