Too Much Pride?
My girlfriend and I just have too much pride. We never swallow it. If I don't call her, she doesn't call me. If she doesn't call me I don't call her. We hold back on saying what we really feel towards each other because we don't want to appear "needy". We don't want to show that we "need" each each other.
When I sign on the messenger I expect her to instant message me. I could go for hours waiting for her greeting. When she signs on she does the same thing, wait for my greeting. Sometimes we don't even greet one another.
And it's just getting old I'm getting tired of it. 1 year together. I just need a break for a day or 2 or 3.
Any advice on how to solve this issue?
Thanks ...
Answer:
This doesn't sound like a nurturing relationship, it sounds like a power struggle.
Eventually you'll learn to hate each other.
Maybe you should see what else is out there for you.
Start off by keeping things more casual - dont complement her all the time, but tell her her weak points too and how she can improve on it so things don't get so "stiffy". be open with her and she will be too.
Look outside the box. Maybe your guys behavior is a sign that you two may not be right for each other.
If you are not comfortable showing each other a weaker side, then your feelings for each other may not be strong.
Remember, lust does not equal love.
It's wonderful that you are aware of the problem, and that is a first step. If you both want to work these problems out, you are going to have to start compromising. Relationships don't work out unless you learn to meet in the middle, confess your mistakes, and express yourself. Once this happens, you might be surprised at her reaction. She may even follow your lead and do the same!
try farting on her
Well.. im stubborn too. But sometimes (as hard as it is) you have to suppress it and make the first move. It sucks, I know. Coming from a womans point of view, this is what my train of thought is: If we are in an arguement, he's the man-the leader- he should make the first move. If he really cares about me then he will put down his man pride and talk to me. He should be able to make that sacrifice -- thats what I think in an arguement. I know, however, that it takes two and sometimes I have to work at that as well. You should all out talk about it. Tell her this. Say Im stubborn and im making a sacrifice and being the man by making the first move (that shows a lot, and kind of gives you the upper hand) then tell her how your sick of this and you both are going to have to work at it (after all thats apart of relationships)
Tough situation, bro. I was, not too long ago, in a similar situation. I finally just got out, cuz I didn't want to change the way I am, and it wasn't fair of me to ask her to change. Some personalities just dont mix. Should you really want to stay with her, you have to be the one to change your stubbornness.
what i am curious is how did it get to this?
was it always like that? i doubt it
so if for the last year its been getting progressively like what you described, was there single event that triggered it?
if not & it was always like this, take stock of why you guys are together & even better: try to find as good of a sit-down-talk moment, tell her the whole things is making you tweaky & that you thought about why she should stay with you;
then ask her why she is with you.
like the others say, there may be better reason for you guys not to be together, esp if you both don't want to take part in each others life
it sounds like you guys are too headstrong.
you need to eaither get over that and actualy act like you want to see each other or get over it and see someone else. no matter how much "pride" i have ever had, when i was still dateing if my boyfriend came on the instant messanger, i would always im him. i dont think it has anything ot do with pride, its all about wanting to actulay spend time with the person and see how they are doing. i think you and your girl could benifit from some talking
More Questions and Answers:
What is a physical trait theory and how is it associated with criminal behavior?
Whats the best way to turn people on to science?
Very bad? Bad? Mediocre? Pretty good? Good? Better? Best? Best of the best? Which one are you?
Why can't people UNDERSTAND BOTH SIDES...?? WHY DO THEY jump?
Why is it that people do this? Human nature maybe?
How do u whisle loud with ur fingers?
The most embarrassing situation you have ever faced with?
Does the act of crying(for the one you love/loved)really helps you or it just makes you feel more miserable??
Why don't i love myself enough?
Can i get psychology doctors address?
When I sign on the messenger I expect her to instant message me. I could go for hours waiting for her greeting. When she signs on she does the same thing, wait for my greeting. Sometimes we don't even greet one another.
And it's just getting old I'm getting tired of it. 1 year together. I just need a break for a day or 2 or 3.
Any advice on how to solve this issue?
Thanks ...
Answer:
This doesn't sound like a nurturing relationship, it sounds like a power struggle.
Eventually you'll learn to hate each other.
Maybe you should see what else is out there for you.
Start off by keeping things more casual - dont complement her all the time, but tell her her weak points too and how she can improve on it so things don't get so "stiffy". be open with her and she will be too.
Look outside the box. Maybe your guys behavior is a sign that you two may not be right for each other.
If you are not comfortable showing each other a weaker side, then your feelings for each other may not be strong.
Remember, lust does not equal love.
It's wonderful that you are aware of the problem, and that is a first step. If you both want to work these problems out, you are going to have to start compromising. Relationships don't work out unless you learn to meet in the middle, confess your mistakes, and express yourself. Once this happens, you might be surprised at her reaction. She may even follow your lead and do the same!
try farting on her
Well.. im stubborn too. But sometimes (as hard as it is) you have to suppress it and make the first move. It sucks, I know. Coming from a womans point of view, this is what my train of thought is: If we are in an arguement, he's the man-the leader- he should make the first move. If he really cares about me then he will put down his man pride and talk to me. He should be able to make that sacrifice -- thats what I think in an arguement. I know, however, that it takes two and sometimes I have to work at that as well. You should all out talk about it. Tell her this. Say Im stubborn and im making a sacrifice and being the man by making the first move (that shows a lot, and kind of gives you the upper hand) then tell her how your sick of this and you both are going to have to work at it (after all thats apart of relationships)
Tough situation, bro. I was, not too long ago, in a similar situation. I finally just got out, cuz I didn't want to change the way I am, and it wasn't fair of me to ask her to change. Some personalities just dont mix. Should you really want to stay with her, you have to be the one to change your stubbornness.
what i am curious is how did it get to this?
was it always like that? i doubt it
so if for the last year its been getting progressively like what you described, was there single event that triggered it?
if not & it was always like this, take stock of why you guys are together & even better: try to find as good of a sit-down-talk moment, tell her the whole things is making you tweaky & that you thought about why she should stay with you;
then ask her why she is with you.
like the others say, there may be better reason for you guys not to be together, esp if you both don't want to take part in each others life
it sounds like you guys are too headstrong.
you need to eaither get over that and actualy act like you want to see each other or get over it and see someone else. no matter how much "pride" i have ever had, when i was still dateing if my boyfriend came on the instant messanger, i would always im him. i dont think it has anything ot do with pride, its all about wanting to actulay spend time with the person and see how they are doing. i think you and your girl could benifit from some talking
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: