How do I help my fiance with his trust issues?

His 1st wife cheated on him, my 1st husband cheated on me (more than once) that's why both ended badly. I don't have any trust issues with him. He has racing thought syndrome and imagines complete scenarios that never happen and it gives him a mood swing. He left for work this morning having an anxiety attack. This only happens once in a great while but it's painful to see him suffer so. He never takes it out on me, just gets anxiety or depressed over it. We both know we need to go to counseling to deal with this, just haven't made the time to do it (we have two seven yr old children, mine is disabled so it's tough to have time to ourselves). Other wise our lives are happy and fulfilled. Any suggestions?

Answer:
You probably need a cognitive therapist to give you a really valid answer. I don't know what helps someone like that for sure, because it doesn't happen to me. But ... it seems to me he might be able to condition himself to derail a particular train of thought, if he has one that recurs. Like, if he practiced, rehearsed many times with you present, thinking about you cheating and every time he got to the point of imagining the feeling of betrayal and pain, he then deliberately thought about you exchanging wedding vows with him (you might help by reciting them for him while you are talking about it ;-) and thought about how he loves you, and believes in you, and about how by marrying you, he must surrender himself to believing in you and trusting you ... maybe that would help him learn to stop himself before he reaches panic level.

Sorry if this just sounds like BS. I really think such things do work. I'm not sure they work for someone with a problem like his though.
My only suggestion would be couple's thearpy. If you go to church, they may have something there for you, or look in a phone book.

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