How do I get over my parents promiscuity??
Now everytime I meet someone who is promiscuous or can not remain faithful to one person, I end up hating them so badly. I don't want to live with hate, but how do I change?
I am 25 now, happily married with children, but I can not forget my parents.
Answer:
This is perfectly normal for you to feel this way. I absolutely abhor hypocrisy of any kind for the same reasons. AND...I refuse to be around anyone who "practices" this.
And so what?? You are the one who chooses the people in your life. Why on earth do you feel you have to tolerate them or change your views and way of life because they choose a different life style than you? You should give yourself a triple pat on the back for not succumbing to a bad lifestyle. Notice I said bad, not different. Promiscuity is bad because of all the stds out there. Feel blessed and smart!
p/s--I'm twice as old as you and forgetting it ain't gonna happen, girl. But you'll learn to live with it.
Oh my god! I feel excatly the same way except i'm 17
I sometimes wish they should had never married I mean really...what was the point of it.
I think the short answer is therapy. This is too hard and too complicated for you to work out on your own.
But the conclusion you may work toward is trying to accept that your parents, like everyone else, are flawed people. They obviously indulged themselevs at your expense, and that was wrong, but you will feel better if you can learn to forgive them.
And of course the other people you get mad at are not your parents, and are not responsible for your pain. It is not your place to judge them.
God luck to you.
to be honest with you,you well never get over what happen with your parents,at your age you need to accept it for what it is and go on,hate is a very powerful emotion,if you can not accept what your parents did years ago,your hate well eat you alive.pray alot.good luck to you and your family
You get over it by not repeating the example they set. It was their problem, not yours. If it's really affecting you that bad, then try therapy.
hun u don't need to change! while i don't believe in hating anyone it sounds like ur parents were the ones with the problem. all u can do is love ur husband and family and not worry about what thier doing. and if u r worried about ur husband doing the same thing then just sit him down and talk with him. trust me if u r like most wives i know( including mine)u will be able to tell if he's lying. and remember just because ur parents were that way it doesn't mean every relationship including urs has to end that way. hope this eases ur worries a little and good luck!
o.k. this is what I do with things like this and I have told people this before and some have taken the advice and some have not..the ones that have have told me it really worked for them. I have done it many times when I get mad at someone or lots of things..stand in front of the mirror and tell your parents how you feel..scream, cry, fuss whatever and when you finish i guarantee you'll feel better..try it it works!
I absolutely agree with TG. Good luck to you.
If you still keep in touch with them, then you should confont them and tell them how you feel, but if not, you should try to forgive them (even if you don't tell them you've forgiven them), because you don't deerve the burden, and you didn't do anything wrong. Good luck :)
go get concealing and it was not ur fault that ur parents did that u focus in ur relationship and try to please ur husband so he wont get tired think positive about it and if it doesn't work there's always a reason why things happen but for now enjoy ur kids and marriage u are ur own architect u decide if u want to make ur relation different from ur parents
No. the answer isn't always therapy. The answer is to forgive and forget. Unknowing of how your life and theirs growing up. I can try to guess they got married young and didn't do the whole "fooing around" thing when younger. now they are.
I grew up with a step-dad that was a good friend until i turned 13. He just turned absolutely cold. I didn't do or say anything, i just turned 13 is all. My father also died that same year and i needed him to be there, and he didn't. I blamed myself til i was about your age. I finally said to myself enough guilt and blame and shame. He is how and who he is, and i didn't create that. Because he's married to my mom, i just have to accept t how it is because thats how he is. It's not perfect and oh well, i have my own life to stress about.
Same should apply to you. They are how they are. Accept them as is, or don't give it any thought. YOU are not that way, and that's what should matter to you. It's the same type of adjustment a family would make if one were to come out the closet or be a different religion or a pornstar. People are people and in this country, they exercise that right freely. Accept it and you'll be less bothered by it. Nobody's life is perfect.
Have you given thought to seeing a counselor? Someone could help you sort your feelings out, vent your frustrations, and find ways to cope with them. You are justified in your feelings for sure, and it is so great that you have learned and moved on to a better life for yourself.
Good luck in all you do and do not ever feel bad about your parents choices. Just go onward and upward for you.
first off, i think you are doing a great job with it just for asking that question. you are aware of yourself and where you come from. you are also aware that you have control over yourself including the hate you feel towards others that conflict with this strong conviction.
i have had the same problem with other things such as giving my daughter too much sugar. a lot of people think its child abuse to neglect a child from sweets as much as i do. i think it is responsible.
its one of those things you are going to have to come to terms with yourself in such a way that you disconnect from allowing it to bother you. you hate it, but you hate the hate, and it is your choice to stop it.
i like the band A Perfect Circle, they are a rock band, maybe you have heard of them. they have a video, very graphic, for free, on http://www.project961.com/cc-common/vide... it is called imagine, and it is a cover of The Beatles. you will find that you hate everything in the video, but at the same time you find yourself to be a part of humanity that includes the bad along with the good. you alone cannot change the world, but you can quietly stand for what you believe.
Your question would argue against your Yahoo name. Just a attempt at humor, no offense intended.
Let's try to put your question in a more positive frame work. Due to the fact, that you have seen the pain, and suffering, your parents, and friends behavior, have cause, then it would follow that you would dis-allow that happening in your own life.
I think that the fear of that happening in your own life is causing you a great deal of unnecessary anxiety. It seems logical to me that the pain you suffered would insure that your mate was chosen for his fidelity.
I suggest that you live your life, and let others live theirs.
Don't let negativity from the past impact in a negative way on the present.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: