My online bf is suicidal - how can I help?
He keeps reading "poems" about love & death and gets identified with suicide stories. He means the world to me, he is pretty much all I have in life. I am really worried. But we can't really communicate and I can't really get why he is like this. I am worried that being so far I can't help and be there and take care of him. The idea that he might kill himself terrifies me.
How can I help? English persons are so closed to themselves... Please give me some insights. Thank you in advance.
Answer:
Well for starters, don't have an online bf! Maybe then you wouldn't have to tell him online not to kill himself.
You say that he is pretty much all you have, but you have a computer right? Get a new online BF and real life BF and then see if an online BF is really a BF. You'll be surprsied how different people have to act when it's REAL.
hi, I hope that first you will not become a victim of his abuse to you, let me explain
first, he is a drama queen, he is feeding on the attention, is his suicide real or not? I don't know, but he needs your attention and would have you be feeling guilt for his problems.
first you are not in a position to help him if he is intent on it, and even in person you can't change his heart. he needs something a little more significant to do that, i.e., God.
I know a lot of women who were in love with guys like you describe, and some realized that the guy feeds on their emotions,
how do you deal with this, tell him to get help, be supportive but divorce your emotions, if he really cares, he will relaize you are not a fool and either get help or move on to the next person he can drain the emotions from.
in my line of work, we refer to time bandits, people who steal your time without adding anything to you, you are involved with an emotions bandit who will leave you drained.
I think its wonderfull that you found some one online you care so much about, that is how I met my fiance and we have been together for years! First of all, stop ignoring him. And secondly, try to give him support. Alot of people talk extensively about how they want to kill them selves, but they don't really want to, things are just bad. Find out why he wants to kill him self, and try to talk him through it. If you need more help, feel free to email me.
Difficult situation. You need to be honest with him and tell him you emotionally can't handle his behavior. With the little information I have I don't see how you can do anything for him, you don't have that kind of control in the situation. I believe he needs to do for himself and you can be there to encourage him when he is taking positive steps.
is he really that great, someone you dont know reading death poems sounds kind of serial killerish. ask him why he is that way, ask him what makes him think its okay to read awkward poem to people he doesnt know but has confided in. you cant really help him because a computer screen can so easily be ignored
You should first consider where you want this relationship to go. I doubt he's actually suicidal. Are you planning to meet in real life at some point? Or have you already? If you don't see the relationship going anywhere in the future, you should put a stop to it right away. It's obviously emotionally stressful for you. And your counterpart seems to be lacking in areas that are vital for a relationship. It's hard to advise an online couple, because so many emotions, thoughts are hidden.
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