I wrote this when I was at school many years ago, what do u think?
a young man of 13 who acts about 3.
A young man who lives in a world of his own,
where it never grows dark and you're never alone,
You've never involved me in family events,
My heart is cut up and covered in dents.
Look to the future, it's all in your head,
I look to the future, I shudder with dread.
So take a step closer, look closer and see,
not a stupid young schoolboy, look closer see me!
Answer:
I really like that, it is a very accurate reflection of life as a child nearing adulthood when people treat you a lot younger than you really are, when you want respect and get patronised instead. I can identify strongly with that, I still have similar things which I wrote around that age as well.
have a star that was really good
thats awsome, u should really start writing agen! x
Like it!
you really wrote that yourself?...Im not sure if I beleive you but if u did then yeah its v.good well done.
wow, thats really good. keep writing! :-)
I think it's a very good poem and it potrays very well what the guy is thinking.
I LOVE it!
Good Job!
Not bad. Very visual. Poetry should always paint a picture or draw us in emotionally. It is a bit choppy, but other than that it's good.
That's pretty good. You should join a poetry site and post that on there. You may have a talent for it that could be helped by having others critique your work.
Anyway, good job. Sad story inside of it though and a message I think most of us are trying to send out to the world. Thanks for sharing it.
Sums up 13 to me, the journey of discovery to adulthood, you are isolated in a world of your own and feel disconnected from family, wonder what the uncertain future will hold. It is a very real and passionate poem I love writing poems it helps to calm my passionates, I hope your future is good and no longer fills you with dread. I enjoyed your poem.
I love all the poetry people put on here, but this was extrodinary! I felt like I really knew you and didn't see you as a stupid young schoolboy, but an adult on the rise. Well done!
buy a journal..and start writing everyday..about anything you wish..bit by bit..you will find words flowing...
write what you feel..write what you know..write what you love.
It should stay in the loft, no more please.+
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