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My brother is in his mid-20's and for the last two or three years, he has not passed up a chance to make fun of someone who is losing their hair. Any one he sees who is balding, he rips on. His friends who are balding have to deal with an constant name calling and he always talks about me going bald and i'm not (he has been saying that since when i first started high school nearly a decade ago). I have never seen anyone who talks about this so much. In fact i have never seen anyone make fun of anyone for losing their hair to their face. It is almost non-stop these days.
Does this obession with people going bald show that is something that he actually fears (i don't think he is losing his hair yet). Is he projecting onto other people?
Answer:
I think that you are very insightful..and yes it's indeed very possible that he's projecting his own fears. It may be that he actually does fear losing his own hair. OR it could mean that he just basically feels pretty insecure about himself the way he is, and it makes him "feel better" to put others down. "Jokes" aren't really jokes when they make someone else feel bad. I think you're right on, he has issues...fear of becoming bald, or maybe just insecurity in general.
Yes he's scared to and I think if he keeps making fun of people than it's going to come back on him.
Yes, and along with low self esteem.
sounds like insecurity to me. I started losing my hair when i was young and a good friend of mine did the same thing. well mine stopped when i was about 30. don't get me wrong i do not have much left so i shave it bald. well he started losing his and is worse off than me. i do not say anything to him but it drives him nuts. i think it bugs him more that i do not say anything.
Yes, he is insecure and fears for his own self-image. By taking the focus off of him and ridiculing others he feels better about himself - or at least wants you to think that he feels better about himelft. His lack of sympathy, and manners, is disturbing, and if I were his brother I would talk to him about it. Obviously it's bothering you and as a member of his family its socially appropriate for you to speak to him about it. He needs to know that this is a mean thing to do and people see right through his insecurity. the frist thing we think when we hear this is that he's terrified about losing his hair. If he knows that other people see his fears by doing this it might be a motivation to stop.
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