Child Sexual Abuse Suvivor's...I have a question?

I think this guy I'm good friends with might have been sexually abused as a child. I spoke about some stuff that happened to me, inapprorpiate touching(in my private area) by a classmate...but it was not severe, it only happend twice. Now, he said that he had stories of his own, and it was something that he swept under the carpet and then he said that's all he's going to say about that. I asked him if he was abused and he said yes, then I asked him if he was comofrtable talking about it and he said no, and I respected that. The thing is, I've suspected before he might have been sexually abused, just based on his twisted attitudes about sex. He seems to just view women as sexual objects, there to satisfy his sexual needs and not desire anything more from them. He's into all types of sexaul stuff, including inflicting pain, and he keeps talking about if a woman is not able to sastify him sexually he'd leave her.I want to just find out if he was sexually abused without him going further.

Answer:
Sounds like a normal red blooded man to me. Except he doen't expect the housework & cooking. Sorry.

You've no evidence at all that he was sexually abused. He just has different opinions from yours.

tell him a bit more about your life that you don't feel comfortable talking about like when you was "touched" soon he should open up a bit more seeing as he will feel more comfortable talking to you

i would obviously not get involved sexually with him.i would tell him,if he is a close friend,that he has major issues with women,and that he should seek proffessional help,i would say that it most likely is related to past abuse,but only a proffesional can determine that and if it is,how to treat it.
he could be a jerk also and it has nothing to do with abuse,but that is unlikely.

he's gone as far as he safely can go at this time and point in his life. the way he answered your questions gave you all the answers. yes, he was abused as a child .to what point and sneverity you may never know because he may never be able to admit it to himself. whatever you do ,DO NOT take the issue any further with him. you have your answer. this poor man needs help but it has to be his decision and on his time schedule. other wise this man is going to totally lose it and go into a psychotic break that he may never come back from. he apparently blocked it for many years. that is the only way some people have of dealy with the abuse. it took a lot of years before the walls that i has set up fell down. i came close to completely losing myself. now i am on meds and doing good. be supportive of him. it sounds like maybe it was a female relative that abused him. he's not ready for a female relationship yet,he may never be ready for a normal femalel relationship. you have some decisions you need to make too.

He sounds like he was abuse but if he won't go for therapy to deal with it there isn't' much that you can do for him. Therapy for sexual abuse is some of the most difficult therapy to go through, You have to admit that there's a problem and that you want to resolve it. In order to do that you have to want to talk about it. As hard as it is for women to talk about sex abuse it's that much harder for men from the idea that they should have been able to prevent it from if it was at the hands of a man the idea of having had sex with a man can really be difficult for some men to deal with especially if it's forced on them. Don't get sexually involved with him and let him know that you're there for him if he needs to talk and when he talks see if you can steer him into therapy. It would be difficult for him to talk to someone not familiar with sexual abuse especially male sexual abuse.

The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.

FunQA.com

Child Sexual Abuse Suvivor's...I have a question?

Topic