I'm 23 years old and I'm still alone.Should I seek psychological assistance?
I've never had a boyfriend although I am 23 now. I find myself attractive and intelligent. I've started to consider seeking a competent psychologist to help me to solve my problem. But I'm not sure whether it is a good idea.
Answer:
I don't think you need a psychologist at all. If there are some issues that you feel you need to identify, there's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist but in all reality, there's nothing wrong with being 23 and not having had a relationship. What exactly is causing you to not have a boyfriend? Are you not able to be social? Do you push men away without realizing it? Are you confident in yourself? Talking to a counselor can certainly help some of these issues come to the forefront so you know what to pay attention to but you don't need a doctor for these kinds of issues unless there's more significant stuff going on. Best of luck to you and I hope you find happiness in any way it presents itself to you.
You are fine. The right person will come along when you are both ready. I know it feels lonely, but you are spared a whole lot of bad dating. If you want to talk to a counselor to help cope with feelings on lonliness, fine. But enjoy being young and fun and healthy. I don't think you have a "problem". Sounds to me like you have a life - and you will meet the one who deserves to share it with you. Relax!
seek help from a competent woman psychologist who specialises in relationships. However, also seek friends. are you genuinely interested in others? are you sure of yr sexuality? the counsellor will help you.
your still young you have plenty of time for a boyfriend. i dont think you need pschological help for this. ther are plenty of people who dont have boyfriend or girlfriends at your age and older. just relax and mr right will come your way.
Hon you are very young. I know people at 40 who are getting married for the first time. Be patient and the right person will present himself. Whenever you "look" for someone, you never find him.
I thought the same thing last year and I was very depressed. When I started my counseling I ended up finding my own answers. I needed to realize that to be happy with myself, instead of finding some one to be in order to be happy. So once you realize that you only need yourself to be happy and also that being in a relationship isn't the key to happiness. Once you stop looking the the guys will come, unless you're extremely picky!
Hi. I am also a 22- soon to be 23 year old latina. I also have felt like I am alone and though I do have a boyfriend and close friends each and every single one of them have their own lives going and it's hard because they are all my life. I think that if you don't want to be alone anymore you should really just start going out and having fun whether that be clubbing or just hanging out at your local bar. I know I know your thinking I'm not a tramp who's going to hook up, but if you like to dance and such this is a great place to let loose and build lots and lots of confidence. Some people are there to have fun and you should do the same. You can seek psychological assistance but all they are going to basically do is recognize the problem and maybe give you medication for 'depression'. If you really feel that is the best thing for you then go for it if not try socializing. That will make your spirits higher. I wish that I had more single friends because I miss going out but what can I do. Good luck and feel free to write me if you want. @yahoo.com
Do you think you need to see a therapist because you have issues being intimate with men and, as a result, have not had a boyfriend? Or do you think you should seek counseling simply because you haven't had a boyfriend? If it is the first, I'd say "go ahead!" But if it is the latter, going to a therapist is not going to change that you haven't dated anyone. I am 22 and although I haven't dated as many people as some of my friends have, I just think about the outcome: they've dated more, I've dated less. They've had more heartache, I've had less. They have lower standards, I have higher. I am only one year behind you, but I feel confident. I didn't need to waste my time with guys I knew weren't right from the beginning. It just depends on how you want to spend your time, energy and heart. Whether you want to date guys just to have dated someone or you want to wait for someone worthwhile, it is completely up to you.
No, no, no. Please do not seek "psychological assistance".
What makes you think you need it?
Is it because the "average"/"normal" woman has had a boyfriend by the age 23? Are you only average? Do you fit neatly into a box? Should the label "average" apply to you?
I say, work on yourself. (No! I do not mean psych. assistance. Stay away from them.) Work on what makes you happy. When Mr Right sees you happy he will want to join in the fun. :)
Your fine in my opinion I'm 32 and I have never had a girlfriend. I used to think that there was something wrong with me. I think that everyone will sooner or later find a special person to be with. If you think that going to get help will help you then try it, but I think your fine. Good Luck.
No.
I am 34 and single. I don't need my head examined for ThAT. Other things maybe, but being single I don't believe is a psychological issue.
On the very little information given, I would reccommend seeking some kind of help. There could be many reasons why nothing has worked out for you yet but the main thing is that you are seriously unhappy with something and if your willing to make a real, positive effort in fixing it, then that's great. a bad therepist can be a waste of time, but if you find one you like, i bet it would benifit you in lots of ways. the other thing i might suggest is that you might try to be more assertive and go talk to guys your attracted to and let them know you're interesting and intellegent (assuming you are) and available.
There is nothing wrong with you for not having a boyfriend. So, in that respect I don't think there is any problem that needs to be solved. Now, on the other hand, if you know you are struggling with some issues (e.g. loneliness, depression,fear, etc), I would absolutely encourage you to seek counseling to help you work through these issues. However, I don't think you need to see a counselor/psychologist simply because you are not in a relationship at the moment. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I am 31 and have never had a lasting relationship (nothing over two weeks). I will never need one either, although i am not opposed to it. I love everything and in turn I receive love back, and that will always be enough for me. You do not need someone to tell you how to feel, and try not to see as a "problem". Just realize that without the confines of a relationship (they have their good points too, don't get me wrong), you have the freedom to love as many things as you would like. What you give out you shall receive back exponentially.
I wish I could go back to that age and be single again!
Take your time and don't go looking for a boyfriend or a husband, that is all you will find. Instead find yourself by finding some hobbies or group activities. When you are ready to be with someone, they will find you and you will find your best friend and mate, not just a bf or husband.
Their is nothing wrong with you, you might just be looking in places where your not going to find what you are looking for. Look inside yourself first and figure out why you think you need to be with someone, and that you think you have a problem because you are not with someone.
You don't need someone to make you feel special, or make you feel more complete. Your lonely and that sucks, so do something about that first, make yourself happy and then you will find happiness.
Although getting help or talking with someone never did anyone any harm, maybe that is all you need, someone to talk too, to clear a few things up for you. Give it a try, all it can do is help!
you know what they say..." you can't hurry love.."
just chill and enjoy..
Why would you think not dating or having a boyfriend means you have a problem that requires a psychological evaluation? Forget the psychology and forget the bars. You won't usually meet intelligent brainy types, or physically or mentally healthy types hanging around in bars. The cigarette smoke and alcohol are unhealthy, and most bars smell like urinals from the old smoke and booze smell.
You'll be much happier if you pursue interests that will draw to you the type of man you want in your life. Just because you've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean you need to be naive about relationships either. The down side of not dating is the lack of experienced judgment you gain that helps you know when a guy is giving you the run around or is sincere. I highly recommend "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Screw Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. She cuts to the chase and tells it like it is.
Then join some groups who pursue subjects that interest you. If you really want to know about wine, join a wine tasting group. You will learn lots of interesting info. If you are athletic, join a sports club, or learn to golf (there are lots of intelligent attractive men who golf). You can go to a municipal golf course where the fees are cheap and you can practice hitting balls. Be sure to take some lessons so you know how to hold the club properly. Invest in good golf shoes and off you go to end up meeting some really great strangers you'll end up playing with for the day or getting to know better. You never know if that smart, funny older man or woman you've spent the day golfing with has a charming lovable son who is romantically unattached.
Do you like to read or write? Join a writer's group. Take courses at the local community college in subjects that interest you. Continue developing your mind and never stop learning. You will be a great conversationalist as a result. Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with a stranger when on outings. You'd be surprised at how friendly most people really are if given the chance. If you are pursuing interests while alone, go to places that are respectable and where you are least likely to be mugged... usually where there are other people around.
A psychologist will only charge exorbitant fees and you will be just as alone afterwards. The worst side of psychology is doctors who often prescribe drugs like prozac that cause a person's personallity to change. I've spoken with people who say they feel either lethargic or numb while on medication. And I've know people who have committed violent crimes including homicide when going off drugs like prozac because it severly affects their psyche in a negative way.
Choose the high road and take action to change your life for the more interesting and satisfying. Good luck.
i'm 21 and havnet ever had a boyfriend. this has concerned me quite a lot. and i like to think the reason i'm reject is that i'm overweight, but i've seen people a lot fatter than me who have a steady guy. so it makes me feel bad.
my question is though, have you been looking around, have you asked guys out? have you been rejected? if so, i'm sure its just that the guy was tied down to some other girl. you probably dont need a psychologist for this, although seieng one is almsot never a bad idea. what i woudl do, if you relaly are looking for a guy, when one interests you, ask him out. this is like looking for a job. You know, you find a job taht interests you, you fill out the application, stick your resumé on the back, and if they say "sorry, you're not what we're looking for," you dont take it personally, and you prod on.
thats what i'm doing now.
when you stop thinking about it you will get a man.i was almost 19 when i started dating the reason for that is cause she started telling people we were dating. but if it wasn't for her i would still be single and i'm 25and still shy when it come to women that i like
I think I have the exactly same problem as you have. On the other hand I know who am I and what I'm looking for into a relationship. As you I consider myself an attractive person and intelligent, but I believe that the circumstances and the life that I live makes it hard to meet somebody new, maybe it's because the lack of time or the many differences between those around me and what I'm looking for. If I were to go to a psychiatrist, he would probably get me hitched with somebody I don't know, and I don't think that's a good thing since there is no common ground, and believe me you don't want to take emotional risks with someone u don't know and trust. I should know, because that's how I got hurt so many times. So I think the best bet is waiting to meet someone, getting to know that someone, and then if possible, well, u know the rest... unless u want something cheap, which I totally do not recommend.
i'm 27, i'm alone, thank god everyday i don't have kids, enjoy your freedom, it might seem hard to find the bright side of this, but once you do; have fun.
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Answer:
I don't think you need a psychologist at all. If there are some issues that you feel you need to identify, there's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist but in all reality, there's nothing wrong with being 23 and not having had a relationship. What exactly is causing you to not have a boyfriend? Are you not able to be social? Do you push men away without realizing it? Are you confident in yourself? Talking to a counselor can certainly help some of these issues come to the forefront so you know what to pay attention to but you don't need a doctor for these kinds of issues unless there's more significant stuff going on. Best of luck to you and I hope you find happiness in any way it presents itself to you.
You are fine. The right person will come along when you are both ready. I know it feels lonely, but you are spared a whole lot of bad dating. If you want to talk to a counselor to help cope with feelings on lonliness, fine. But enjoy being young and fun and healthy. I don't think you have a "problem". Sounds to me like you have a life - and you will meet the one who deserves to share it with you. Relax!
seek help from a competent woman psychologist who specialises in relationships. However, also seek friends. are you genuinely interested in others? are you sure of yr sexuality? the counsellor will help you.
your still young you have plenty of time for a boyfriend. i dont think you need pschological help for this. ther are plenty of people who dont have boyfriend or girlfriends at your age and older. just relax and mr right will come your way.
Hon you are very young. I know people at 40 who are getting married for the first time. Be patient and the right person will present himself. Whenever you "look" for someone, you never find him.
I thought the same thing last year and I was very depressed. When I started my counseling I ended up finding my own answers. I needed to realize that to be happy with myself, instead of finding some one to be in order to be happy. So once you realize that you only need yourself to be happy and also that being in a relationship isn't the key to happiness. Once you stop looking the the guys will come, unless you're extremely picky!
Hi. I am also a 22- soon to be 23 year old latina. I also have felt like I am alone and though I do have a boyfriend and close friends each and every single one of them have their own lives going and it's hard because they are all my life. I think that if you don't want to be alone anymore you should really just start going out and having fun whether that be clubbing or just hanging out at your local bar. I know I know your thinking I'm not a tramp who's going to hook up, but if you like to dance and such this is a great place to let loose and build lots and lots of confidence. Some people are there to have fun and you should do the same. You can seek psychological assistance but all they are going to basically do is recognize the problem and maybe give you medication for 'depression'. If you really feel that is the best thing for you then go for it if not try socializing. That will make your spirits higher. I wish that I had more single friends because I miss going out but what can I do. Good luck and feel free to write me if you want. @yahoo.com
Do you think you need to see a therapist because you have issues being intimate with men and, as a result, have not had a boyfriend? Or do you think you should seek counseling simply because you haven't had a boyfriend? If it is the first, I'd say "go ahead!" But if it is the latter, going to a therapist is not going to change that you haven't dated anyone. I am 22 and although I haven't dated as many people as some of my friends have, I just think about the outcome: they've dated more, I've dated less. They've had more heartache, I've had less. They have lower standards, I have higher. I am only one year behind you, but I feel confident. I didn't need to waste my time with guys I knew weren't right from the beginning. It just depends on how you want to spend your time, energy and heart. Whether you want to date guys just to have dated someone or you want to wait for someone worthwhile, it is completely up to you.
No, no, no. Please do not seek "psychological assistance".
What makes you think you need it?
Is it because the "average"/"normal" woman has had a boyfriend by the age 23? Are you only average? Do you fit neatly into a box? Should the label "average" apply to you?
I say, work on yourself. (No! I do not mean psych. assistance. Stay away from them.) Work on what makes you happy. When Mr Right sees you happy he will want to join in the fun. :)
Your fine in my opinion I'm 32 and I have never had a girlfriend. I used to think that there was something wrong with me. I think that everyone will sooner or later find a special person to be with. If you think that going to get help will help you then try it, but I think your fine. Good Luck.
No.
I am 34 and single. I don't need my head examined for ThAT. Other things maybe, but being single I don't believe is a psychological issue.
On the very little information given, I would reccommend seeking some kind of help. There could be many reasons why nothing has worked out for you yet but the main thing is that you are seriously unhappy with something and if your willing to make a real, positive effort in fixing it, then that's great. a bad therepist can be a waste of time, but if you find one you like, i bet it would benifit you in lots of ways. the other thing i might suggest is that you might try to be more assertive and go talk to guys your attracted to and let them know you're interesting and intellegent (assuming you are) and available.
There is nothing wrong with you for not having a boyfriend. So, in that respect I don't think there is any problem that needs to be solved. Now, on the other hand, if you know you are struggling with some issues (e.g. loneliness, depression,fear, etc), I would absolutely encourage you to seek counseling to help you work through these issues. However, I don't think you need to see a counselor/psychologist simply because you are not in a relationship at the moment. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I am 31 and have never had a lasting relationship (nothing over two weeks). I will never need one either, although i am not opposed to it. I love everything and in turn I receive love back, and that will always be enough for me. You do not need someone to tell you how to feel, and try not to see as a "problem". Just realize that without the confines of a relationship (they have their good points too, don't get me wrong), you have the freedom to love as many things as you would like. What you give out you shall receive back exponentially.
I wish I could go back to that age and be single again!
Take your time and don't go looking for a boyfriend or a husband, that is all you will find. Instead find yourself by finding some hobbies or group activities. When you are ready to be with someone, they will find you and you will find your best friend and mate, not just a bf or husband.
Their is nothing wrong with you, you might just be looking in places where your not going to find what you are looking for. Look inside yourself first and figure out why you think you need to be with someone, and that you think you have a problem because you are not with someone.
You don't need someone to make you feel special, or make you feel more complete. Your lonely and that sucks, so do something about that first, make yourself happy and then you will find happiness.
Although getting help or talking with someone never did anyone any harm, maybe that is all you need, someone to talk too, to clear a few things up for you. Give it a try, all it can do is help!
you know what they say..." you can't hurry love.."
just chill and enjoy..
Why would you think not dating or having a boyfriend means you have a problem that requires a psychological evaluation? Forget the psychology and forget the bars. You won't usually meet intelligent brainy types, or physically or mentally healthy types hanging around in bars. The cigarette smoke and alcohol are unhealthy, and most bars smell like urinals from the old smoke and booze smell.
You'll be much happier if you pursue interests that will draw to you the type of man you want in your life. Just because you've never had a boyfriend doesn't mean you need to be naive about relationships either. The down side of not dating is the lack of experienced judgment you gain that helps you know when a guy is giving you the run around or is sincere. I highly recommend "10 Stupid Things Women Do To Screw Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlesinger. She cuts to the chase and tells it like it is.
Then join some groups who pursue subjects that interest you. If you really want to know about wine, join a wine tasting group. You will learn lots of interesting info. If you are athletic, join a sports club, or learn to golf (there are lots of intelligent attractive men who golf). You can go to a municipal golf course where the fees are cheap and you can practice hitting balls. Be sure to take some lessons so you know how to hold the club properly. Invest in good golf shoes and off you go to end up meeting some really great strangers you'll end up playing with for the day or getting to know better. You never know if that smart, funny older man or woman you've spent the day golfing with has a charming lovable son who is romantically unattached.
Do you like to read or write? Join a writer's group. Take courses at the local community college in subjects that interest you. Continue developing your mind and never stop learning. You will be a great conversationalist as a result. Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with a stranger when on outings. You'd be surprised at how friendly most people really are if given the chance. If you are pursuing interests while alone, go to places that are respectable and where you are least likely to be mugged... usually where there are other people around.
A psychologist will only charge exorbitant fees and you will be just as alone afterwards. The worst side of psychology is doctors who often prescribe drugs like prozac that cause a person's personallity to change. I've spoken with people who say they feel either lethargic or numb while on medication. And I've know people who have committed violent crimes including homicide when going off drugs like prozac because it severly affects their psyche in a negative way.
Choose the high road and take action to change your life for the more interesting and satisfying. Good luck.
i'm 21 and havnet ever had a boyfriend. this has concerned me quite a lot. and i like to think the reason i'm reject is that i'm overweight, but i've seen people a lot fatter than me who have a steady guy. so it makes me feel bad.
my question is though, have you been looking around, have you asked guys out? have you been rejected? if so, i'm sure its just that the guy was tied down to some other girl. you probably dont need a psychologist for this, although seieng one is almsot never a bad idea. what i woudl do, if you relaly are looking for a guy, when one interests you, ask him out. this is like looking for a job. You know, you find a job taht interests you, you fill out the application, stick your resumé on the back, and if they say "sorry, you're not what we're looking for," you dont take it personally, and you prod on.
thats what i'm doing now.
when you stop thinking about it you will get a man.i was almost 19 when i started dating the reason for that is cause she started telling people we were dating. but if it wasn't for her i would still be single and i'm 25and still shy when it come to women that i like
I think I have the exactly same problem as you have. On the other hand I know who am I and what I'm looking for into a relationship. As you I consider myself an attractive person and intelligent, but I believe that the circumstances and the life that I live makes it hard to meet somebody new, maybe it's because the lack of time or the many differences between those around me and what I'm looking for. If I were to go to a psychiatrist, he would probably get me hitched with somebody I don't know, and I don't think that's a good thing since there is no common ground, and believe me you don't want to take emotional risks with someone u don't know and trust. I should know, because that's how I got hurt so many times. So I think the best bet is waiting to meet someone, getting to know that someone, and then if possible, well, u know the rest... unless u want something cheap, which I totally do not recommend.
i'm 27, i'm alone, thank god everyday i don't have kids, enjoy your freedom, it might seem hard to find the bright side of this, but once you do; have fun.
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