I have an "addiction" i think i need help!?
Answer:
hello Natali,
I was first worried after reading your question. But having read the details, I can reassure you a bit: What you are going through is not an "addiction." However, you are right to question this "out of control" behavior since it can develop in more serious habits later in life or even get you in important financial trouble later on in life. I think that if you tried to control your spendings but failed on your own, you should get some help from a professional or from a support group. Since you are in college, you could even organize it yourself. I am certain you are not the only one in your case.
What you are describing are signs of compulsive-obsessive behavior which are usually indicative of a more serious problem such as the need to fill a void. Sometimes, will power is not enough. People or even yourself can tell you over and over not to do something such as spending money, yet you keep on doing it even if the behavior causes you and/or others great grief. In that light, you are correct to compare your actions to the ones of an addict.
There are reasons as to why you feel out of control and you can only understand (therefore change) by doing some personal research and/or talking with someone else (professional or not).
Try to keep a daily journal and describe the best you can what happened before and after the shopping episode. Based on the notes you take, you may start to see where the problem really is and therefore can find its solution. Since you are in college, you may have access to a mental health counselor on campus. In which case, I would not hesitate to ask for help in case the problem continues.
I think it may be wise to ask for professional help.
That's a lack of self control. It may take a crisis to teach you a good lesson. Until then, just stop blowing money.
It sounds like you're proud of having earned this money yourself, and you simply want an outlet in order to make yourself even more proud. There's nothing wrong with that but spending every penny is a bit excessive. You've recognised that what you're doing is wrong. So i'd recommend maybe taking all the money out of the bank when you get your paycheck, and give say 70% to your parents and tell them not to give it you, then you can spend the 30% to your hearts content and you're stopped from spending the rest. Or set up a savers account so that a proportion of your pay is automatically taken away and stored usefully for the future?
sweetie, i suggest going out and buying a journal. every time you feel like this, then you write what is going on in your head and why you feel like it, it's a coping mechanism..and please don't blame it on painkillers like WYNONA>.. you know there is something wrong, so if your work through those fellings, then you will be fine. try seeing a therapist for a few months to help you. you don't have to go all the time, but once you have an idea why you do it, then this will slowly go away.
Ok, here's what you could try, some banks allow you to make a savings account that you are not able to touch for several years. Have them put some of your money in that account and if anything happens several years from now you'll have some fall back money. Or, you could give control of an account to a friend you trust to keep if for you and make sure they don't let you spend on things like shoes and stuff instead of things like food.
If you want something, wait for at least a week and if you still want it then get it. Otherwise you may regret it when you get home.
You just need to discipline yourself better. Open up a savings account if you don't have one already, completely separate from your checking account. Designate a certian amount of money each paycheck which you HAVE to put in the savings account. Think of it as "buying" your savings account or "paying" your savings account bill. That way anything left over you CAN do or buy whatever you want with (after paying real bills of course) and don't have to feel guilty at all.
One trick you can engage in is to take your checks and place them into Series EE savings bonds. They can be purchased for small amounts of cash and they can only be cashed out in six months. You won't be able to spend your money in that time.
Another thing is to keep your money in the bank and not take it out. If you have an ATM card destroy it. Only take money out of your branch in person. Don't carry cash with you. Leave it at home.
Have your paychecks get placed in direct deposit. Many banks support automatic movement into your savings account. This will make your checking account look smaller and it is easy to forget about savings account balances.
You can also make reminders for yourself to do the right thing. Put a sign on your door that says "Leave your money at home!". Keep all those receipts that make you sad and keep them on you at all times.
Remember how sad you feel before you go to the store and see if it doesn't spoil the mood.
Write down how bad you feel after wasting your money. Keep a journal and read the journal before you go shopping. Carry some of your "bad" purchases with you as a reminder of how you waste your money.
Remind yourself of how bad your parents are and make small reasonable goals to not be like them. Figure out how much money each month you need to spend and then give yourself a small "fun" allowance and make the rest unspendable (see Series EE savings bond above).
get rid of the credit cards and open a checking account. you can get an ATM card but don't ask for one or if they do automaticaly give you one destroy it. its a lot easier to swipe a card than it is to write a check. writing a check takes time and that makes you think if something is worth writing a check for.
Yeah I think that qualifies as an addiction. Something triggers the "need" to buy and then you cant help yourself. But you need to buy a journal and write down what you feel and think whenever you get the need to buy. Work to get rid of your thoughts about buying. Also focus on the idea that you have everything you need. Also tell yourself stuff like "I release the need to spend all my money." Remind yourself that having saved away money is a good thing.
you have what is called an addictive personality. It runs in your family thats why your parents have it too. This often happens because of stress and worries. So to occupy your brain from this you find some sort of replacement. Shopping is yours. It is a big problem if you let it continue, not going to lie. You just have to stop and thats it! Later, you're going to need this money terribly. When you're done with college, you'll have another job and you'll have more money and more time to spend it.. THATS NOO GOOD NO GOOD!! Save your money instead, it will pay off in the future (no pun intended). I know its hard, but try. Good luck!!
I am just like that, my mom was the same way, and now I find myself in the same situation. I would buy my kids the world and more if I had 1 penny to do it with..
I went to a credit counsler and it really didnt help...I think maybe a psychologist would help better...maybe insurance will pay, then you can get a new outfit to go?
Natali- you have what is called a compulsive addiction disorder...you need to look at the reasons behind your actions..and you need to realize you will just replace it with other disorders unless you get down to the real reasons...anyone with these disorders has been abused in some way when younger...they have issues of abandonment, phyiscal and/or mentle abuse, sexual abuse, or were deprived of the love they needed when they were young so they try to fulfill the needs with other things...such as sex, drugs, alcohol, shopping, overeating, self depriveation, etc..etc..you say you parents are just like this..so do you somehow feel you are pleasing your parents by being this way too? As a child we love to please our parents and it sometimes becomes a problem when we are older..mostly if there is a hollow place inside of us we dont know how to fill...you most likely were deprived of things even though your parents bought things all the time...so to compensate you "treat" yourself to things to make up for the lack of attention...this could even be subconciously hidden to yourself...you need to see yourself in control of the situation and when you get the urge to spend, evaluate how you are feeling..write it down...study it..find the pattern..then brake it. by becoming more confident, self assured, in control...it is an insecurity causing it ..find out what it is and the desires to abuse will go away..if ignored it is like you have a gushing wound and you are trying to heal it with a little bandaid...it will take surgery...a good website is www.thesecret.tv to explore yourself and attract good things into your life so you can overcome your addictions..remember what you give your attention to grows...no audience...no play...quit giving your additction the stage.hope it helps
Perhaps you could wean yourself from this bad habit by starting slow. Next time you have $5 left from a paycheck and you hit the mall, decide beforehand in your head that you are going to window shop the entire mall untill you are absolutely sure that you are spending that five in the best way possible. Go through the entire mall looking in every store thst looks interesting and checking out every sale. Every time you are tempted - stop & think to yourself "yeah but do I really need this? What if there is something much better in the next store?" By the time you have gone through the entire mall you will have gotten your "fix." You will be tired and ready to go home and put your feet up (maybe even with that $5 still in your pocket! )
Buy penny stocks so that you can earn enough to support your obsession.
Look into shopaholics, compulsive spending/shopping and aspergers.
http://www.addictionrecov.org/spendaddic...
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/savi...
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/as...
You should see a therapist to get a proper diagnosis. There are those community services in your area that will work with you on a curve for your finances. It seems like you have some type of anxiety. I do this sometimes myself. Try writing yourself a Leger and shopping list for the real necessities. Many people who have credit cards live beyond their means. Be glad you're not a gambler also.
Natali, I think what is going on is a symptom of anxiety.I don't believe in "specialty disorders." I think most problems really come down to depression and anxiety.
Call it what you will, you need a doctor. It's not a money management problem, it's emotional.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Joe
I feel for you. But, we have to be responsible.
If you are highly addictive to this behavior, cash all of your check. Get rid of your checking account and credit cards. Pay your bills with money orders. In other words, do everything on a cash basis only.
My nephew says just don't do it. Stay away from your college bookstore.
Good luck!
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