Get-close-and-then-closer...
better defined as an anxiousness issue.
It's pretty much like the first issue
only with less intensity and without the
certainty that you are going to be dumped.
You just get anxious about closeness.
When life has taught a person that many
other individuals are dangerous -- even
the ones that are supposed to love you and
care for you -- it is pretty much
"normal" to be anxious about letting your
guard down around anyone, ever. Alarms go
off when the brain perceives that there is
a closeness that has in the past been
associated with a lot of pain. You can
try to consciously stop the reaction, but
basic, inner, "unconscious" mechanisms are
ringing the panic alarm. "Unconscious
processes begin organizing perceptions and
behaviors that will sabotage the
relationship and get things back into the
safety zone.
Thats exactly how i am. so what do i do??
ignore this feeling??
i lost so many people due to this "problem" :(
Answer:
Don't think you're crazy or alone in all this, and understand that my suggestion is for anyone who has a problem like yours. I've had a similar problem, though it was connected to one isolated event, where it seems yours might be because of several different events that are interconnected. I think you should find a counselor. It would do you a world of good, and it would help you let your feelings out, which is important, but maybe even more so, the counselor should help you find the source of the problem and show you how to deal with it. Remember, it's their job, and the vast majority of them went to school for at least a few years just to help people like you...and previously me when I had to deal with my past. Anyways, I feel a lot better about who I am and a lot more confident with who I see in the mirror after having gone to a few sessions last year and this year.
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