What should i do when they want me to but i don't?please help?
Answer:
"...all my life." How long is that?
If you are in junior high or so, I'd consider the possibility that it serves the same function as, say, violin lessons to someone who would rather play baseball. He or she may never be a concert violinist, but the most likely benefit is not in being a great musician, but in developing personality attributes that can serve you well for the rest of your life.
If you are up to, oh, 10th grade or so, there is that, but there is also the idea of you gaining enough personal automony that you should be able to make some of these decisions on your own, no matter what your parents would prefer. I mean, it is after all your life.
It is an error for them to try to live vicariously through you, sort of like recapturing their glory days by seeing you out there. As a parent myself, I understand that impulse, but the greater consideration is your development as someone who can make sound decisions (or experience the unpleasant consequences of unsound ones; the benefit is pretty close to the same, in the long run).
If you are in your last years of high school, if I were in conversation with your parents, I would ask them what their hopes are for you in 5 years (I mean, it's not OK to "waste" your natural talent now, but how about when you get to college in a year or two? OK to waste it then? That doesn't really hold water, does it?). If their ambitions for you involves a professional sports career, I'd gently point out that ain't gonna happen. If it doesn't involve a career in sports, you might point out what it is you do wish to pursue, and try to make the case that you would be much happier if you could be allowed the opportunity to follow your own dreams.
IMPORTANT: Just as important as the words you say are the way you say them ... here is the the attitude you must have if you are going to have a hope of convincing them you are right (assuming they are reasonable and not just authoritative). First, what NOT to do: no whining, no anger, no resentment. No trying to trap them in apparent contradiction as I pointed out above. You must believe, actually believe, that they do not intend to dominate you, but instead in their way are expressing admiration for you and your abilities, and that they love you enough to push you to become the best person you can be. I'll bet that is exactly the case. So, you should go into the conversation loving them for that, and honoring their willingness to show some interest in your life. And, acknowledge that the last thing you want to do is disappoint them, but also point out that you are beginning to turn your attentions to your career and your future, and that you feel that it is time for you to have more control over this aspect of your life. Then, offer a compromise: choose your favorite sport, and ask if they would think less of you if you only did that one next year, and shifted your focus to academics and music. If they seem reluctant, don't be surprised; it may take them a day or so to process what you've told them and realize their baby is growing up.
If they just won't budge, your options are very limited: play along, or open rebellion. My recommendation: think long term. High school will be over before you know it; surely they can't force you to take athletics in college (unless, of course, they are counting on an athletic scholarship to pay for your college. If that's the case, be willing to take responsibility for your own education by taking out student loans and working, and assume that you will naturally pay them back yourself.)
If you have this conversation with your parents, feel free to e-mail me and let me know how it went. Good luck to you on this.
do what you feel like doing to me you have a lot of gift; good luck
Tell your parents how unhappy you are with the sport scene, and tell them what really makes you happy. I don't think [arents should try to live their lives through their kids.
OH BOY...you have the type of parents that hoping for you to make it big and get rich so they can live off of you. They are trying to live there dreams through you. They Either didn't play sports...Or did and messed something up. Now they are making you do it thinking they are gonna make you make something out of yourself. But they just don't realize that they are only pushing you into hating it. I bet if they didn't FORCE you, you would probably like playing the sports. Unfortunately. For parents like that. There's really nothing that is gonna change there mind.
if you weren't being pressured, you might enjoy the sports.
i think you should take a year off, but i don't know how to convince your parents.
maybe if you went to your school counceller,explained your point of view,they could talk to your parents,with you in the room,maybe that will get your parents to back off a little,try picking one sport you want to do and consintrate on that 1,sometimes when parents hear it from someone else they actually listen.
I hesitated to answer your question because I don't normally tell children to go against what their parents tell them to do, but.. I think you need to sit both of your parents down and have a talk. I don't mean tell them how you feel during an argument or just in passing. Pick a time that you know both are usually together and relaxed and ask them if you can talk to them. Tell them that you appreciate the opportunities they have given you to excel in sports but that you feel like its time for you to excel in other things. Compromise if you must, give up all but one sport for the time being just to pacify your parents, but they should let you decide what you want to do as extra curricular activities. Personally, I think your parents are forcing you to do what they wish they had done in their childhood and its unfair to you.
if you don't want to be an athlete then find something you want to do for a life and keep up with that...
no offence but as adaptive as humans are the reason your good at sports could just be you've always played them...
Hi...I try to read all the other answers so I won't duplicate but there's a lot. Some said to confront your parents and you've already done that. The only thing that I can think of is to refuse to practice, play and tell them you won't play until they listen. When they do, tell them, "Look, it's hard enough being this age, in school, peer pressure and girls but you are making my life hell. Whatever you have to do...do it but I'm not playing one more game. What can they do really? Ground you? Take your privileges away? What privileges?? Parents want the best for you but they are wrong about this one. Stand your ground...respectfully. Good luck.
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