Sex addict question?
Only very serious answers please.
My husband has seen a therapist twice now and they think he may be a sex addict because he has cheated on me 4 times. He says he has a problem and these girls don't mean anything to him and he doesn't know why he does it. He also does it in a very self destructive way with random girls and no protection. I want to work it out with him because we have 2 little girls but am I being naive in thinking this is an actual disease? Does anyone else have any experience with a sex addict? How do I know if it's an actual curable addiction or If I'm just being seriously played?
Answer:
You know, this is a tough question, and its so easy for anyone to say "get rid of him!" and although I do feel strongly about cheating...and feel like he really needs a good kick in the as* and you don't deserve that at all. To me, 4 times is alot, and unacceptable. If he really felt he had a problem, don't you think he would have asked for some help. If you want to stay with him and support him then i would really suggest getting some counseling, for both of you. Good luck.
Yes it is a disease, but it is still a valid reason for divorce. He might not be able to control it, and you might be forced to make a decision about your marriage. It sounds like it will be a tough choice for you, he needs to provide you with some good answers and assurances or I would be tough on him.
sry but sounds like ur husband just wants to have sex all the time and doesn't care who its with...
Working it out for the sake of the children rarely works.Trust me...kids are smart and they know whats going on.
He needs to get help...then come back and prove himself...if you still want him...altho I wouldn't waste my time.
By the way,I hope you have had an aides test.
It's something else if he can't direct his sexual "needs" to you. For your own emotion and physical health and safety, I'd insist he stops, and or remove myself from the situation until you are assured he's "recovered." I think it's bogus nonsense to be honest, and excuse!
Best wishes I hope all works out.
there are a lot of people out there with a sex addiction problem. they actually have group therapy for it like AA... if he is willing to get the help for it then i would say you are not being played... but i would be careful thats a hard thing to stick with... i wish you the best of luck!
idk sorry...
Sounds to me like you are being played...
You can be addicted to sex like anything else. It is the rush of the endorphins. It may that your husband is more addicted to the thrill of possibly getting caught and not just sex. Because if you are addicted to sex you can be satisfied by a regular partner just more often. He is playing you and may get something that could harm your future and that of those precious little girls like HIV/AIDS. You need to move on for the sake of the girls. It is unfair for them to have to deal with loosing both parents.
you're being played..don't waste your time except for the sake of your children...he'll never be cured...he'll continue to sleep around no matter what you do. sorry and good luck.
Ya know what - it could be argued on whether it is a real condition or not 'til the sun comes down. Bottom line is this - no woman or family should have to deal with that! I'm sure you didn't know he had this problem when you married him, so it's not a matter of "you knew before you got married" type of crap. Spare yourself the heartache, and the emotional trauma if you have children!
peope can get addicted to anything..but i am almost a borderline sex addict so i have read up on it...
the fact of the matter is that a true sex addict uses sex, and sexual thoughts, images, film, materials...to stay in a sexually aroused or stimulated state...
like all day long he is looking at porn, or thinking about sex...
i think in your situation he is probably just a guy cheating and trying to get a lil vag action going on the side...not a sex addict...
I cannot answer, but only with the resources found on the web. It is very serious & I would demand that he get counseling, you too , for that matter.
Please read the helpful links below pertaining to the claim of him being a sex addict.
BTW, porn only fuels it, makes it worse.
AM A SEX ADDICT that is true i have a wife to be and i love her to death but i love my girls too he most like love you i tell my girl i love her but i still want to explore other partners its nto that we dont care its how god made some of us look at it as a world species most mammals are like this but if you husband love you like he say he will use a rubber if he dont he's love aint worth the risk if he dies and you die of a std who will raise your kids ...
better 1 parent then none
Some men seem to have more testosterone than the others.
But that should not legitimize his cheating on you. As you say he´s even doing it without protection and that puts your life in danger. Just dump him. He probably won´t find any cure in Institutions since they don´t provide prostitutes. He needs to put his family on the one side of the scale.
Otherwise you may have more problems lined up. You said you had little girls of your own did´t you?
It is a psychological addiction, and can be treated very much in the same manner as substance abuse. You should understand that addiction is not consider "curable" , but a self destructive behaviour can be managed by constant vigilance and learning self control. The idea is to to never think "never do it again" but each morning to think, "Don't do it today."
YES I DO BELIEVE IT IS A DISEASE, BUT ALSO SOME MEN PLAY THIS UP A LITTLE. I WOULD SUGGEST THERAPY AND LOTS OF IT. MAYBE A BREAK FROM THE TWO OF YOU. IF YOU AREN'T AROUND FOR HIM; THAT WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE HIM REALIZE WHAT HE LOVES AND MARRIED YOU FOR. IT IS SO HARD ON YOU WITH CHILDREN TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BUT YOU ALSO WHAT TO BE THERE FOR HIM. I WOULD SAY ONE OF TWO THING: YOU GET HELP AND HOPE THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN OR TAKE A BREAK AND GET HELP AND THEN GO FROM THERE. I SORRY FOR YOU AND THE KIDS BUT I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT IN YOUR BEST INTEREST. ALSO, IF THE RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T WORK... MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS YOU ARE JUST WALKING THE TRAIL CALLED LIFE THAT WAS ALREADY THERE FOR YOU!
Well, it's a disease in the same way that alcoholism, compulsive gambling or drug addiction is a disease. It's a good sign that he's seeing a therapist. It sounds like he really values your relationship and wants to change. There are SLAA meetings that could also help your husband. I recently read Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous by Augustine Fellowship and it really helped me to understand this compulsion.
Your number one priority though should be making sure that you are safe and that your child is well cared for. Definitely make sure that you and your husband have had a full range of STD tests. If he's still cheating, then for your own sanity, maybe you could live separately until he can prove that he's really changing his ways. Also, consider going to a couples counselor with your husband, or your own counselor to support you through what must have been a very painful time while he was cheating.
If he doesn't change, then it's up to you to get out of this unhealthy situation.
yes it might be a disease...u could try talking to him about his problem 4 times...is too much...i think u should get him to see a therapist to solve his problem...if that doesnt work its time to leave him.u and ur daughter deserve so much better..
You need to walk out now! Even with children - walk out!
He grew up in an environment where this was acceptable behavior and sees nothing wrong with it.
I would stay away from him until the therapist says there is no more issues or until your husband says he's cured - he also has to WANT to be cured or it will NOT work. He will continue doing the same thing until he changes himself.
its just an excuse...let him go...sex addcits dont act the way he's acting he's just a cheater...BELEIVE me i know the difference
It is serious question, but I don't want to tag him.
The bottom line he is cheating you again and again, and you don't deserve it.
Your daughters don't need such an irresponsible dad nor unhappy mom.
I'm sure you know what you HAVE to do !
he's playing you like a piano.the tune is Beethoven's concerto..it may be wise for you to leave this cat. It is like playing Russian roulette with every chamber loaded with .45 shells these days by having unprotected sex...pretty soon you may not have to worry about his supposed sex disease, instead, the sexually transmitted disease he may bring home to you...
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My husband has seen a therapist twice now and they think he may be a sex addict because he has cheated on me 4 times. He says he has a problem and these girls don't mean anything to him and he doesn't know why he does it. He also does it in a very self destructive way with random girls and no protection. I want to work it out with him because we have 2 little girls but am I being naive in thinking this is an actual disease? Does anyone else have any experience with a sex addict? How do I know if it's an actual curable addiction or If I'm just being seriously played?
Answer:
You know, this is a tough question, and its so easy for anyone to say "get rid of him!" and although I do feel strongly about cheating...and feel like he really needs a good kick in the as* and you don't deserve that at all. To me, 4 times is alot, and unacceptable. If he really felt he had a problem, don't you think he would have asked for some help. If you want to stay with him and support him then i would really suggest getting some counseling, for both of you. Good luck.
Yes it is a disease, but it is still a valid reason for divorce. He might not be able to control it, and you might be forced to make a decision about your marriage. It sounds like it will be a tough choice for you, he needs to provide you with some good answers and assurances or I would be tough on him.
sry but sounds like ur husband just wants to have sex all the time and doesn't care who its with...
Working it out for the sake of the children rarely works.Trust me...kids are smart and they know whats going on.
He needs to get help...then come back and prove himself...if you still want him...altho I wouldn't waste my time.
By the way,I hope you have had an aides test.
It's something else if he can't direct his sexual "needs" to you. For your own emotion and physical health and safety, I'd insist he stops, and or remove myself from the situation until you are assured he's "recovered." I think it's bogus nonsense to be honest, and excuse!
Best wishes I hope all works out.
there are a lot of people out there with a sex addiction problem. they actually have group therapy for it like AA... if he is willing to get the help for it then i would say you are not being played... but i would be careful thats a hard thing to stick with... i wish you the best of luck!
idk sorry...
Sounds to me like you are being played...
You can be addicted to sex like anything else. It is the rush of the endorphins. It may that your husband is more addicted to the thrill of possibly getting caught and not just sex. Because if you are addicted to sex you can be satisfied by a regular partner just more often. He is playing you and may get something that could harm your future and that of those precious little girls like HIV/AIDS. You need to move on for the sake of the girls. It is unfair for them to have to deal with loosing both parents.
you're being played..don't waste your time except for the sake of your children...he'll never be cured...he'll continue to sleep around no matter what you do. sorry and good luck.
Ya know what - it could be argued on whether it is a real condition or not 'til the sun comes down. Bottom line is this - no woman or family should have to deal with that! I'm sure you didn't know he had this problem when you married him, so it's not a matter of "you knew before you got married" type of crap. Spare yourself the heartache, and the emotional trauma if you have children!
peope can get addicted to anything..but i am almost a borderline sex addict so i have read up on it...
the fact of the matter is that a true sex addict uses sex, and sexual thoughts, images, film, materials...to stay in a sexually aroused or stimulated state...
like all day long he is looking at porn, or thinking about sex...
i think in your situation he is probably just a guy cheating and trying to get a lil vag action going on the side...not a sex addict...
I cannot answer, but only with the resources found on the web. It is very serious & I would demand that he get counseling, you too , for that matter.
Please read the helpful links below pertaining to the claim of him being a sex addict.
BTW, porn only fuels it, makes it worse.
AM A SEX ADDICT that is true i have a wife to be and i love her to death but i love my girls too he most like love you i tell my girl i love her but i still want to explore other partners its nto that we dont care its how god made some of us look at it as a world species most mammals are like this but if you husband love you like he say he will use a rubber if he dont he's love aint worth the risk if he dies and you die of a std who will raise your kids ...
better 1 parent then none
Some men seem to have more testosterone than the others.
But that should not legitimize his cheating on you. As you say he´s even doing it without protection and that puts your life in danger. Just dump him. He probably won´t find any cure in Institutions since they don´t provide prostitutes. He needs to put his family on the one side of the scale.
Otherwise you may have more problems lined up. You said you had little girls of your own did´t you?
It is a psychological addiction, and can be treated very much in the same manner as substance abuse. You should understand that addiction is not consider "curable" , but a self destructive behaviour can be managed by constant vigilance and learning self control. The idea is to to never think "never do it again" but each morning to think, "Don't do it today."
YES I DO BELIEVE IT IS A DISEASE, BUT ALSO SOME MEN PLAY THIS UP A LITTLE. I WOULD SUGGEST THERAPY AND LOTS OF IT. MAYBE A BREAK FROM THE TWO OF YOU. IF YOU AREN'T AROUND FOR HIM; THAT WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE HIM REALIZE WHAT HE LOVES AND MARRIED YOU FOR. IT IS SO HARD ON YOU WITH CHILDREN TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS BUT YOU ALSO WHAT TO BE THERE FOR HIM. I WOULD SAY ONE OF TWO THING: YOU GET HELP AND HOPE THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN OR TAKE A BREAK AND GET HELP AND THEN GO FROM THERE. I SORRY FOR YOU AND THE KIDS BUT I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT IN YOUR BEST INTEREST. ALSO, IF THE RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T WORK... MY MOM ALWAYS SAYS YOU ARE JUST WALKING THE TRAIL CALLED LIFE THAT WAS ALREADY THERE FOR YOU!
Well, it's a disease in the same way that alcoholism, compulsive gambling or drug addiction is a disease. It's a good sign that he's seeing a therapist. It sounds like he really values your relationship and wants to change. There are SLAA meetings that could also help your husband. I recently read Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous by Augustine Fellowship and it really helped me to understand this compulsion.
Your number one priority though should be making sure that you are safe and that your child is well cared for. Definitely make sure that you and your husband have had a full range of STD tests. If he's still cheating, then for your own sanity, maybe you could live separately until he can prove that he's really changing his ways. Also, consider going to a couples counselor with your husband, or your own counselor to support you through what must have been a very painful time while he was cheating.
If he doesn't change, then it's up to you to get out of this unhealthy situation.
yes it might be a disease...u could try talking to him about his problem 4 times...is too much...i think u should get him to see a therapist to solve his problem...if that doesnt work its time to leave him.u and ur daughter deserve so much better..
You need to walk out now! Even with children - walk out!
He grew up in an environment where this was acceptable behavior and sees nothing wrong with it.
I would stay away from him until the therapist says there is no more issues or until your husband says he's cured - he also has to WANT to be cured or it will NOT work. He will continue doing the same thing until he changes himself.
its just an excuse...let him go...sex addcits dont act the way he's acting he's just a cheater...BELEIVE me i know the difference
It is serious question, but I don't want to tag him.
The bottom line he is cheating you again and again, and you don't deserve it.
Your daughters don't need such an irresponsible dad nor unhappy mom.
I'm sure you know what you HAVE to do !
he's playing you like a piano.the tune is Beethoven's concerto..it may be wise for you to leave this cat. It is like playing Russian roulette with every chamber loaded with .45 shells these days by having unprotected sex...pretty soon you may not have to worry about his supposed sex disease, instead, the sexually transmitted disease he may bring home to you...
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