Serious question?
I don't know whether to put it down to curiosity or take it seriously.
No silly answers please, I don't know what else to do or who else to ask
Answer:
I think he has a bit of a problem here, Dawn, but how much depends on your relationship. If you have a good variety in your sex life, and he performs well and naturally, I think he may be OK. Men are curious, especially those of us who have had a religious upbringing under the oppressive sexual taboos. I can't help any more than that unless you contact me with further, personal information. As a body worker for many years, I have some experience in handling this sort of problem. If you like, send me an email, and I'll give you my private address for security.
you need to ask him straight out if he gets upset then he does but you really need to know what your getting into
to be honest i would have left then when he asked why told him.....that way he has to explaion himself
computers can be funny things at times, he may have come across it by accident, been curious or he could have been looking for it.
without asking him it hard to know which it is. If it was me I would just keep an eye on it - if he is searching for this kinda thing he will go back again then you will have to confront him.
some people find certain situations a turn on but dosn't actually mean they would carry the act out - but be cautious for now. also you have known him for 18 months and assume you are intimate - does he show any of these tendencies in the bedroom - that could be your clue.
maybe he's guilty about it... or just ashamed that you found out something he does in private? i mean, yeah... he's just guilty...
i would talk to him about it before it eats away at you . could be curiosity but would you want to take that chance
He sounds like a control nut with a little obsessive compulsive behavior. If you can, get away from him, if your living with him, move out and on, the first chance you can get, like when he is at work. There are a lot of guys who know how to be kind to girls, so don't think you need to hold on to him. Many deviants first explore their obsession By looking at pictures, don't try and fix him.
Honestly I think you should talk to him and explained the way you are feeling. Fantasies are just that and probably that is one of his fantasies but honesty could help both of you to continue with the relationship. The fact that he cleared the history doesn't help. I went through something similar with my partner so I know how you are feeling. Good luck.
It's time for a new boyfriend I would say.
ok if he has actually typed this in to a search engine that is a little wierd but i think you need to approach asking him in a way so that he knows you havent judged him and are willling to let him explain. Mayble there is an explaination. If he clams up then tell him you cant be with him if he wont telll u because then he doesnt trust u and u cant trust him
I wouldn't take it too seriously ... everybody has some weird secrets, and what makes a difference between a normal person, and a freak is that normal person knows write from wrong, and urges aren't strong enough to make him/her do what they know is wrong ... I'm thinking now of all the sick websites I browsed ... some out of curiosity, some because I found them interesting, some because I couldn't look away ... like looking at a car accident, I hate seeing it, but I can't stop looking at it ... I have my history always erased, and my cookies ... I would never want my boyfriend, or any of my friends or family to see them. That's my privacy. And it doesn't mean anything!
hey dont worry its just normal u knw they r just hidden desires and fantasies every other guy has - being a guy i can say that > i have never ever seen a guy who has never ever seen internet porn --its normal but u always gets bored of the stuff once in a while _--give him some time and fulfill his dreams and fantasies i bet he will never ever again open up a porn site in his life > and dnt worry hes not goin to abuse anyone > good luck
As it came up in a search engine it can't really be something he stumbled across, he must have typed it in.
But that doesn't mean he is into rape or will ever do it. When looking for porn, some people like to check out whats taboo. If searching whilst drunk this could mean he goes a little deeper than he normally would. He may have been just as disgusted as you. If he likes seeing this sort of thing, it doesn't mean he likes doing it. But I would tread carefully.
Delete all internet history and cookie files so you can see if he visits any of these sites again. If he does, then thats the time to question him about it. And I wouldn't spare his feelings if he gets freaked out. You deserve answers.
Also, I'm pretty sure that rape sites are now illegal in the UK. But you'll have to check on that.
Well - first - it was wrong for it to be in there. Does anyone else use his computer? If he is a hard person to confront - for whatever reasoning - that is a sure sign that - it won't change. If you don't think you can talk with him - you will just hold it inside - letting it grow inside of you - and eating you up from the inside. I would confront him - with the mindset that this relationship is most likely about to end - either from him denying/freaking out about the confrontation - or not being with someone who would be willing to look that kind of stuff out. You might be in a dangerous relationship and not know it. Or - you might be his first/next victim.
I would write things down - just incase it ever came to be that he is - and you might be able to help police with something - to help spare a new/another victim.
Good luck - and be safe.
why should someone be a freak? we all have our own little fantasies. get it off your chest and tell him again out load how you feel if he dosent want to talk about it you at least know his dark secret and you can take your own decision on weather to stay or leave him
Well I agree that alot of men enjoy watching porn but watching actual rape videos is something else. Its normal to enjoy the intense sexual actions between male and female in pon movies but to watch actual rape footage is just disgusting...I suggest you speak to him as soon as possible about this and let him know that you know and dont worry about him freaking out, he is in the wrong here..if he uses the pc alone, where did it come from..sites like that dont just appear on your history, one must actually type it in. If he wants nasty sex videos i think there are more than enough porn sites to cater for his needs..i honestly dont see why he needs to watch a woman being raped..thats just sick!
it`s a dilemma there is only you that can answer that as you know him the best. I`m single and 62 and have surfed and have come across weird sites by chance so it could be innocent but on the other hand be careful.
If he keeps beating around the bush when you get serious with him....take your action with this information a step further. Seek someone who can help you take care of this manner in a proper way. This issue shouldn't be left alone or on the back burner. Immediate attention is necessary on your side because you are the one who came to finding.
Good Luck to yas.
I think there is no answer unless we know' that thing' came from where?Forget the mood of the b/f-there many be many reasons for such. ( I assume 'my b/f I mean boy friend-it has so many meanings in societies one such is baby/friend! I would recommend forget curiosity or seriousness an d make peace with yourself .Go the Q&A the inquisitive way in an intimate personal journal and let time decide on your problem. No kidding ! Man made problems have man made solutions.
It would seem this is not REALLY the problem as such. From what you have said I think the bigger issue is that of him "freaking out" when you try to talk to him about things he doesn't like.
A lot of people have said it may have been something he stumbled across by accident... yes that could very well be the case. the bigger problem is him freaking out when you question him.
In what way does he freak out? Is he aggressive? Defencive? Argumentative?
A lot of problems are created by the way in which things get asked. If you wade in making accusations, the natural reaction is that of anger and defensiveness.
If you have been with him for 18 months you should be able to communicate with him in an open and honest way by now... I am more concerned about his freaking out. Is he someone you want to be with? You know him, does this video thing seem like something he would go in for or something he may have stumbled across? How does he behave towards you in general?
I think its difficult to start labelling things as normal or abnormal as there isn't exactly any definitive definition of what NORMAL means!! If it disturbs you then there is cause for concern.
Whether he is or isn't an abuser, you need to keep the information on your computer and report to the police. **** like that should not be on the internet, its bad enough that it happens in real life.
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