How do I stop taking things so personally?
Answer:
find the humor in it, you'll be surprise how funny some of that stuff is.plus you'll live longer.
just be more laid back, like realize that most stuff just doesn't matter that much, life is too short to care about most things, focus on the important things in life and have fun
Oh sure... you would have to ask ME that question, huh?!?
Why is it always MY responsibility to answer these things? You probably asked that because you know how it makes me feel.. you know I don't like when someone raises the issue of taking things personally. You probably just asked this question to spite me, didn't you?
Of course you didn't! You can see that this doesn't make any sense, right?
The same holds true for you.
Think about it the next time you take something personally.
Remember the source. You are giving other people too much credit for things.
Empathy is a great thing... if only we could extend empathy for us to others! But empathy can help you at times. For example, someone at my place of work fails to respect my dignity at times and she treats me with a kind of disdain, and it makes me less likely to help her.
But this morning, I heard her having a gentle argument with a coworker and I realized that she's not trying to hurt me, she's just hurt and lashing out herself by the lack of respect she gets. I looked around and suddenly realized that I don't take out my hurt feelings on anyone...
So I now have a really good attitude about her, and I don't take her attacks personally. She doesn't know me enough or care enough about me for her words to be of much value. I just cut through her criticism, figure out what will make her happy, do that as I can, and move on.
This isn't a perfect template, just a general idea... but trying to understand the motives behind comments made (even by people we barely know) hurt our feelings often helps us put criticism and negativity away. You are not a perfect person, but I would bet you are a better person than you give yourself credit for.
And that would be the other half of this: maintain a good dose of self-love. You and I have our faults, but we have so much to offer the world, there isn't time to give it all away! Remember the things that are special about you, that causes others to care about you and want your love and affection, and take heart as a defense against the critics and ugliness of the world.
Catch yourself and stop!! It's like dieting or quiting smoking. It is an emotional process and must be handled like one. I find quiting cold turkey is the only way I can quit a bad habit. It will be hard but way worth it in the end.
Realize it's IN YOUR HEAD! When you say things, you don't mean it as an attack on others, so why would everyone else mean things as an attack on you?
People are not out to get you, and it's very hard for people to be able to befriend you if they are always afraid they will "hurt your feelings" or "step on your toes".
When someone says something and you want to immediately jump to the conclusion that it was personal, Stop. Think again about what the person said, and take it at face value. Then you'll realize that it would be ridiculous for it to be taken personally.
I know this can be challenging, and hard to un-train yourself from immediately going to that, but with time, you will be able to just listen to what someone says and take it for what they really meant.
I wish you a lot of luck!
Most people are so wrapped up in their own lives they have no intention of harming others. You have a low self esteem, most of us had it at one time or another, kids don't always get their needs met. So, be your own little sister and say, now now, they weren't talking about you dear. And if they were, they aren't perfect either.
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