Can you help...?
...I feel very sad today. not just today...I don't know how to be more positive about life.
Probably is because I'm single. I'm pretty ready to find someone that I love...and to love back...but I can't find the right one.
There are people that they consider me attractive but I don't feel the physical attraction. So It would be wrong if I date someone I'm not attracted at all.
I know in the meantime I should enjoy doing other things, but what should I do? I just have in my mind that I must have someone to share things and feel less sad.
Probably it is just a phase...but can you help?
Any kind kind of advice would be appreciated ...
thank you for reading this.
Answer:
Hi Aquamarine,
You sound lonely and you're perhaps placing too much emphasis on physical attraction. Try dating someone you don't initially fancy. Let the friendship develop and you never know, you could start feeling completely different about them as time goes by. You aren't giving romance a chance. Next person who asks you out, take a deep breath and go for it ... and enjoy!
Polly
It might help if you talk to a counselor. It sounds a little like depression, feeling down or sad, not positive about life, feeling like you need someone in your life to be happy.
I know from experience, when I went through a divorce 10 years ago I felt the same way.
I know it sounds corny but once you learn to love yourself, and to be happy with what you do have, you will feel better about life and have a more positive attitude. Then others will see you in a different light too.
I wish you happiness!
First and foremost you need to appreciate the time by yourself and learn to enjoy being by yourself. its hard at first but you will learn alot from it and appreciate yourself. You cant go looking for love, you will never find it that way. Try spending time with friends and go from there. I use to be that way, just wanting to have that feeling of being with someone. i use to be sad alot also. Now after about 5 months i enjoy being with my friends and by myself. Just give it time and the right person will come along.
Dear Aquamarine,
Reading your question, several bells rang - this is so familiar. A couple of years ago I started therapy after feeling depressed for a long time and completely blocking myself, emotionally, intellectually and physically. All I can share is the outcome of my experience and if you find something that resonates in your heart, then it's a message for you and you should keep it. If not, just ignore it.
Growing up we've been programmed to believe many things, one of which is that unless we share life with someone special, we cannot be happy. Lord knows my mum's repeated that a million times... What I discovered, however, was that true happiness did not depend in the presence of or absence of a partner, but the presence or absence or my Self.
I realised that the real reason for my sadness and loneliness was that I had not completely and unconditionally accepted myself THE WAY I AM. So, I was like a vacant body walking around, missing the most important component - ME.
Soon after that it dawned on me that I was given the gift of life and the gift of free will to control my actions and my thoughts. That I am worth as much as everyone else and was put here as part of this world - a world that would not be the same without me. We're all connected by the same energy; a fact proven by quantum physics and Einstein.
This realisation was shocking and depression and loneliness started to lift, along with my physical complaints, as I set out to change the way I feel - by changing my thoughts. By changing every 'negative' word into a positive affirmation - "I want to be healthy" rather than "I don't want to be ill".
I know this may sound a bit too theoretical, but in it was hard work. I had to spend months repeating the same affirmations in front of my mirror, so I could learn to accept, like and love myself - and frankly, I don't know if I'm there yet either or if I'll ever get there.
But being on the path alone feels so good and every time something bad happens and a new challenge arrives, I deal with it differently - or at least I try to. For this what the human experience is about: just living. And that includes making mistakes, experimenting, having ups and downs, etc.
I hope this made some sense. You are not alone.
In love and light.
Awe sweety I had no idea and feel for you. The waiting is the hardest part. I have not only first hand experience with this but have helped many friends with this same annoying problem. People are people let me first say that and get that out of the way. Now with that said. I personally have tried many dating services. Many dont care for that idea but as in dating and meeting people. It has had its ups and downs. Pros and cons. Finding the "Right" person is no easy task. Some go their entire life without ever finding the right one. The wonderful woman that Im with now I met through a dating service. So dont think that they dont work. We all have our way at finding love and I hope you find yours very soon hun. Take care and remember. Im always here for you if you need someone to talk to.
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Probably is because I'm single. I'm pretty ready to find someone that I love...and to love back...but I can't find the right one.
There are people that they consider me attractive but I don't feel the physical attraction. So It would be wrong if I date someone I'm not attracted at all.
I know in the meantime I should enjoy doing other things, but what should I do? I just have in my mind that I must have someone to share things and feel less sad.
Probably it is just a phase...but can you help?
Any kind kind of advice would be appreciated ...
thank you for reading this.
Answer:
Hi Aquamarine,
You sound lonely and you're perhaps placing too much emphasis on physical attraction. Try dating someone you don't initially fancy. Let the friendship develop and you never know, you could start feeling completely different about them as time goes by. You aren't giving romance a chance. Next person who asks you out, take a deep breath and go for it ... and enjoy!
Polly
It might help if you talk to a counselor. It sounds a little like depression, feeling down or sad, not positive about life, feeling like you need someone in your life to be happy.
I know from experience, when I went through a divorce 10 years ago I felt the same way.
I know it sounds corny but once you learn to love yourself, and to be happy with what you do have, you will feel better about life and have a more positive attitude. Then others will see you in a different light too.
I wish you happiness!
First and foremost you need to appreciate the time by yourself and learn to enjoy being by yourself. its hard at first but you will learn alot from it and appreciate yourself. You cant go looking for love, you will never find it that way. Try spending time with friends and go from there. I use to be that way, just wanting to have that feeling of being with someone. i use to be sad alot also. Now after about 5 months i enjoy being with my friends and by myself. Just give it time and the right person will come along.
Dear Aquamarine,
Reading your question, several bells rang - this is so familiar. A couple of years ago I started therapy after feeling depressed for a long time and completely blocking myself, emotionally, intellectually and physically. All I can share is the outcome of my experience and if you find something that resonates in your heart, then it's a message for you and you should keep it. If not, just ignore it.
Growing up we've been programmed to believe many things, one of which is that unless we share life with someone special, we cannot be happy. Lord knows my mum's repeated that a million times... What I discovered, however, was that true happiness did not depend in the presence of or absence of a partner, but the presence or absence or my Self.
I realised that the real reason for my sadness and loneliness was that I had not completely and unconditionally accepted myself THE WAY I AM. So, I was like a vacant body walking around, missing the most important component - ME.
Soon after that it dawned on me that I was given the gift of life and the gift of free will to control my actions and my thoughts. That I am worth as much as everyone else and was put here as part of this world - a world that would not be the same without me. We're all connected by the same energy; a fact proven by quantum physics and Einstein.
This realisation was shocking and depression and loneliness started to lift, along with my physical complaints, as I set out to change the way I feel - by changing my thoughts. By changing every 'negative' word into a positive affirmation - "I want to be healthy" rather than "I don't want to be ill".
I know this may sound a bit too theoretical, but in it was hard work. I had to spend months repeating the same affirmations in front of my mirror, so I could learn to accept, like and love myself - and frankly, I don't know if I'm there yet either or if I'll ever get there.
But being on the path alone feels so good and every time something bad happens and a new challenge arrives, I deal with it differently - or at least I try to. For this what the human experience is about: just living. And that includes making mistakes, experimenting, having ups and downs, etc.
I hope this made some sense. You are not alone.
In love and light.
Awe sweety I had no idea and feel for you. The waiting is the hardest part. I have not only first hand experience with this but have helped many friends with this same annoying problem. People are people let me first say that and get that out of the way. Now with that said. I personally have tried many dating services. Many dont care for that idea but as in dating and meeting people. It has had its ups and downs. Pros and cons. Finding the "Right" person is no easy task. Some go their entire life without ever finding the right one. The wonderful woman that Im with now I met through a dating service. So dont think that they dont work. We all have our way at finding love and I hope you find yours very soon hun. Take care and remember. Im always here for you if you need someone to talk to.
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