What causes people to be controlling in relationships?
Answer:
because they are to afraid to leave, to be on their own and start a new life without been controlled, they may have low-esteem, and no self confidence. The other thing is for some people they may like to be controlled and that's why they stay. There is no one reason as to why people stay in controlling relationships, they all have their reasons.
the partner being controlled
it wouldnt be a problem if they stood up for them self
insecurity, fear, low self esteem, learned habits, feeling that other area (work, family, money) are out of control, power
because they have never had control before in their life. Maybe when they were a child their parents were controlling
His or her own insecurities.
The other person rarely has anything to do with how this person has a need to be in control. Unless of course, they have given that person a reason, like cheating or overspending.
fear
One partner has a strong personality and the other is weak and like to be controlled.
LACK OF SELFSTEEM
i think well i will take me in this case..they know that i am easy, nice , naive and so they know somehow who they can control and who they cannot....some people are just more control freaks and go overboard with it..there needs to be a medium where a relationship is a happy one where they work things out instead of someone controlling another one, and forcing their ways, or ideas on them...there are signs i have learned of controlling people..and it really is not a good relationship if someone is controlling you...we all have to obey laws and such but we should be allowed our freedom to think and do things that is what america is suppose to be for...and controlling men i know can be abusive i have been there...
They can't control themselves. Beware of the accuser who says "You always control me" because if they were truly controlled, they wouldn't even know it. That's the psycho-babble you need to know.
One possibility is that they are insecure.
Often times, individuals will enter and remain in controlling relationships for several reasons. The most common, among the research available, would suggest 2 primary reasons for this: 1) fear of being alone (being with someone is better than being without; 2) the non-controlling individual prefers to have another make most of his/her decisions. In other words, they want to be led by a significant other. Essentially, this is because they tend to have low self esteem. One might also consider, in this case, the non-controlling individual does not want nor choose to assume responsibility of being blamed for making a wrong decision. Life is complex, that's for sure; however, generally those willing to accept less than a 50/50 relationship are much less self-assured (even though they may demonstrate great leadership abilities outside the relationship) than the controlling person. Hope this helps.
Type A personality types are controlling and many are actually abusive physically, emotionally and/or verbally. Many times it is from low self-esteem and other times it is taught to them when they grew up and they don't even know it.
Many times they are perfectionists and can't stand it if everything or everyone isn't exactly like they think it should be. They will argue a point even when they are proven wrong. Many aren't even aware of what they are doing and when it's pointed out to them, they aren't always willing to recognize their flaws and change.
Type A folks are usually stressed out alot more than the Type B and are more prone to heart attacks because they never learn to relax. If they would learn to control themselves and not try to control others, their lives wouldn't be so tough and uncomfortable.
Most controlling people were taught a certain misconception about people in general. Controlling people see personalities as "permeable." They basically see everyone as blobs with vague images of themselves. What usually happens is someone else took control of them or some circumstance did when they were developing, leading them to think that all relationships center around the wielder or the wielded. Controllers believe that you are out to take control from them and to make them miserable slaves to hyper-insecurity. When they control they are attempting to make you an extension of themselves so that all life will be perfectly predictable. You will think and talk and behave as if they were the puppet master. The puppet that talks on it's own is scary. Because they view all people as puppets(permeable) they live in constant terror of people acting independantly. They will threaten you when you act outside of their will, but you generally don't realize that they are afraid of you filling their world with chaos.
People who crave Power
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