Was this appropriate? Am I exaggerating?
Hi,
Yesterday i went to see a psychiatrist for the first time. It was a male, which i wasn't very comfortable with due to an incident as a child, which he was vaguely aware off and knew how vulnerable I felt.
Anyway at the end of the tough session, I walked towards the door...he was behind me...then as i went to open the door, I felt his hand grab my shoulder really tightly, he said nothing and I felt stunded, he turned me so i was facing him, he was strong and moved towards me, I backed towards the wall, he still aproached and raised his arms saying nothing, I was so scared and in the spilt second where he said he wanted to give me a hug, I had to shout, "Please dont touch me!"
I was terrified, I had never met this man before and he was aware of my history...it made me very shaken and scared since! I went to tell a friend and she laughed, until I burst into tears!
Am i over exaggerating?
I don't see him next time and i asked for a woman and there apparently isnt1
Answer:
No youre not exaggerating, sounds like he was completely out of order. Dont think a psychiatrist should really hug their patients anyway, but the specific way he dd it was very wrong. Even if you didnt have a traumatic history, having a bloke grab you tightly from behind would not have been a comfortable way to end the session.
sounds fair to me
Strange behaviour seeing as he knew your history details.
Hugs are nothing bad but as he knew your details it was inappropriate for him to do this really. JMHO
You need to find a different psychiatrist because you won't make any progress if you feel uncomfortable with the one who's supposed to be helping you.
no. it was your experience. and he didnt have the right to hug you. its fine. if they dont have any female psychiatrists, then i think you shoud go to another psychiatrist. it dosnt make sense to keep going there.
No you're not over exaggerating. He's supposed to make you feel comfortable, and he didn't. His intentions might have been good, but he went too fast.
If you don't feel comfortable with him (even if he didn't try to hug you) then you don't need to worry about if you're over exaggerating; you aren't.
Find another place with a woman. He scared the **** out of you, so it's ok to find another.
Absolutely not. You are definitely not exaggerating. They are there to make you feel comfortable in the first place. He knows as a psychiatrist he is NOT by all means supposed to touch you. Especially to be that close as he was. I would suggest finding a new one and also typing something up and turning it in to your new psychiatrist, they usually know what to do in that situation. Just do not think you are exaggerating, you are not.
If this had happened in a dark alley, or if a stranger had entered your home and acted this way you would be absolutely justified in reacting as you did. A threat is a threat. However, in the theraputic enviornment you describe, the doctor's action was one of bonding and reassurance. He wasn't attacking you, molesting you or meaning any harm. Still, he ought to have asked you if you would accept his hug before proceeding. Some day you may feel differently about him.
I say, YOU need to feel comfortable with your psychiatrist, if you do not, for ANY REASON, go to a different one. I don't think you are over reacting at all, switch doctors until YOU feel comfortable in every way.
I think you assessed fairly - he did not control his behavior based on what he knew about you - I mean even if he was testing your startle response for "clinical" purposes - it was still inappropriate. Even more inapporpriate is that he let you leave upset.
Okay - so the good news is that you were able to quickly assess this was not the right match for you - that's good. Just let the instance go and thank your "universal signals" that you didn't waste too much time and energy in investing in a "relationship" that wasn't going to work out. Maybe he will learn something from the experience.
You could write a letter expressing your distress at the situation and then burn it to release it from having imapct on you. Thanks for sharing and getting it off your chest.
No, you are not overreacting or exaggerating. You say that you do not feel comfortable with a male psychologist, then change doctors offices if needed. You must be comfortable with your doctor or you will not be totally candid, which is what will help.
You may or may not be over reacting. However, he now knows, without doubt, the dept of emotion you feel in these circumstances. This knowledge could be used diagnostically. Perhaps you could see if this additional information is used constructively in the next session.
Please report what happened to his superiors as he has pypassed the professional boundaries. This happened to me from a woman who I later found out that many people had complained.
No you are not exaggerating it. What this man did was innappropriate and highly unprofessional, and if I was you I would make a complaint to the relevant body. As for your friend, ditch her she's useless, how can a friend laugh at your obvious concerns and distress. You don't need a friend like that. Also next time insist on having a female psychaiatrist, wait until you can find one or get a referral elswhere.
Hope it works out for you.
definitely not.. but it also interesting a proffesional may do that?
He should be 'struck off' for unprofessional behaviour. In fact, you should complain really, if you're feeling up to it, even to your family doctor, just for the record, in case he does something more serious to another female patient, and no-one believes her. Because, sure as sure, if he's that sort of monster, he'll be at it all the time. Get your Doctor to refer you to another clinic. And the very best of luck to you.
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