I never felt i was special growing I never felt i really mattered?
i was not wanted as a child and its always affected me. how do you overcome this altogether
Answer:
Just go to your friends and to the people who like you for you.
Its their loss not wanting you. You're a good person and they just cant see that. People are really weird somtimes. :((
you can ignorantly grow a god complex and make them want you, or you can just find people that like you and want you for who you are
You can spend years in therapy looking at why, what and what now or you can train your thoughts to believe that you are special and think positively about yourself. You can't change the past but you can change your future and this does seem to be largely down to how we think and feel about ourselves. You are special.
I overcame my childhood afflictions with counseling off an on for 15 years. A year of EMDR and many self-help books. I alswo had to change my way of thinking. Write in bar soap on your bathroom mirror I DESERVE THE BEST IN LIFE... this helped greatly. My faith in my higher power helps more than anything. Be you own cheerleader.
it depends wat happened to you. i had a very bad upbringing and i seem to have turned out ok if you really need to chat email me on loopylinz86@aol.com x
Speak to a therapist about it. There must be websites for help & support with that kind of thing.
You are special
everyone is special..
we all have our good points...bad points....
my bad points are....i go purple ..when i splash paint on myself...
my good points are too many to mention..
never devalue yrself always see yrself as someone special.
its special or i will come round and thump you.....ok..
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Tight Hugggggggg))))))))))))))))))))...
I am so sorry to hear this,all i can say is you could get advice from your Doctor,but please remember that you are special and you will find as you go through life that you will meet a lot of people that you will be very special to.I am sure you have already got friends that feel this already towards you but you may not realise it and i am sure you will overcome this,one day you will have children of your own and to them you will be the most important person in the world.Good luck you wonderful person.
It's kind of mind over matter - if you stop minding you'll find it doesn't matter. I know that's an over-simplification but if you stop and think about it, most of what you're suffering now is because of your own self-image which colours your idea of how other people see you.
Talk to a counsellor and they'll explain it much better than I can.
You have all it takes to be great - really you do.
First just embrace the fact that you were given the gift of life. People are basically selfish and I think it comes from nature. We need to be a bit selfish for our basic survival.
Another thing I know is "looks" really matter. If you noticed in school the athletic better looking boys and girls got all the attention. Even in grade school children are shunned if they don't look a certain way. We are taught to be nice to each other, and girls are sugar and spice and everything nice (or is that rotten). I am sure you noticed that children are horrible to each other and don't even say hello to each other.
All the attention the good looking people receive gives them a false sense of worth. Think of the Bruce Springsteen song "Glory Days".
You find that even if you have people that like you and invite you over for parties or dinner it doesn't really make you feel you matter. People don't really want to speak about personal things, or things that would nurture your spirit. That only comes from a very close dear friend. So just having casual friends won't make you feel special.
Truthfully it is good to embrace the thought that nobody is special and they really don't matter. That is really how people treat each other. Sure it would be great if we could feel special but there are many people who don't grow up with that luxury. You are better off knowing that your happiness needs to come from within.
It is better to come from the point of knowing that life really stinks but we work at it to make life joyful.
People who get depressed are under the false illusion that life is perfect for everybody but them. They get so caught up in feeling sorry for themselves they forget the joys that are possible in life.
We all need to pick the three or four fun things we really love doing and do them frequently. We need to give ourselves any joy we can while we are here. Too many people make their lives drudgery by toiling at home like they are slaves. Who gives a crap if the house is spotless. They should go out and have fun.
ME TOO, IT TOOK AGES, BUT I NOW RELY ON ONLY MYSELF...AND I MUCH PREFER THE COMPANY OF ANIMALS TO THAT OF PEOPLE...NEVER GOT OVER BEING RESENTFUL AND ANGRY ABOUT MY PARENTS THOUGH
I really, really, don't want to come across as mean, however, I had a childhood that most people couldn't imagine. After all the years and all the therapy my best advice to you is just get over it and get on with your life. Hopefully this experience of your's will help you to become a great parent. Never indulge in self pity or self recrimination. Life is seldom fair and can be quite painful at times as I'm sure you know. "No man hath affliction enough, for affliction is a treasure". We can learn from our adversity and become better people because of it.
I believe that the better who can advise you is a specialist.
He can give you guidelines in order that you find ways of communicating with the others with that you should obtain that the affection arrives to you.
You will be more capable of knowing new people also.
But i´m sure that there are many people for whom you matter and it is good to find the bridge towards them.
A greeting and a lot of luck.
you don't but life goes on that is what most of us do get on with it you cant live in the past
I'm not sure you can completely forget whatever happened in your childhood. The best revenge though - the best 'up yours' is to make a success of your life. Trite, I know, but "no one can make your feel inferior without your consent". Don't let the people who let you down win.
Hunny, I felt the same as you growing up.I kinda felt ugly on the inside!? NOW I have two beautiful, confident HAPPY kids.that's because I love them above myself! I am a better parent/person than whom I was brought up by!
It took me so long to believe that I deserved to be here and to be me without apologising...but I am loved, have good friends and I am gratefull for everything!
Your demons are memories that can be buried...they sometimes re-surface when feel insecure or threatened, but it's up to you to try to bury them, life is too short babe!! Believe in your special qualities that you posses and make a future for yourself!
You will one day have a lil family of your own and know that happiness is there for you.
Everyone deserves and has the right to be happy.your day will come;o]
God bless ya babe!
X
it dont matter how special you were when you were growing up it matters that you make you self special now you have the power to make you feel special fogetting is hard but remember that no one lives your life but you show them that all those years arein the pass and that it never mattered what they thinked about you you are special in every way and your happy with your self and comfortable with being you do what ever it takes confront the person or just let it go demand answers or live for your self be happy be you forget this its not worth you attension...divert that attension to something that makes you happy ...
The fact that you survived the trauma of such a childhood intact proves that you are special.
Don't be negative about yourself, we all have something to contribute to life which is special. All you have to do is to find out what your contribution is, - and then go after it.
You have a negative self image, which is typical of a small child who did not get the opportunity to form good attachments. - We all need to form those attachments in order to develop what are known as 'internal working models' of both ourselves and other people. (An internal working model is a mental representation of ourselves and other people). - It is well known that children who experience your kind of childhood tend to build negative internal working models.
The solution is to go back to the beginning and to try to learn how to build attachments with people; - they will then act positively towards you and this may help to change your own mental representation of yourself. - Basically, what I am saying is what you put into forming attachments with others is what you will get back.
Hope this helps.
B
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Answer:
Just go to your friends and to the people who like you for you.
Its their loss not wanting you. You're a good person and they just cant see that. People are really weird somtimes. :((
you can ignorantly grow a god complex and make them want you, or you can just find people that like you and want you for who you are
You can spend years in therapy looking at why, what and what now or you can train your thoughts to believe that you are special and think positively about yourself. You can't change the past but you can change your future and this does seem to be largely down to how we think and feel about ourselves. You are special.
I overcame my childhood afflictions with counseling off an on for 15 years. A year of EMDR and many self-help books. I alswo had to change my way of thinking. Write in bar soap on your bathroom mirror I DESERVE THE BEST IN LIFE... this helped greatly. My faith in my higher power helps more than anything. Be you own cheerleader.
it depends wat happened to you. i had a very bad upbringing and i seem to have turned out ok if you really need to chat email me on loopylinz86@aol.com x
Speak to a therapist about it. There must be websites for help & support with that kind of thing.
You are special
everyone is special..
we all have our good points...bad points....
my bad points are....i go purple ..when i splash paint on myself...
my good points are too many to mention..
never devalue yrself always see yrself as someone special.
its special or i will come round and thump you.....ok..
(((((((((((((((((((((((((Tight Hugggggggg))))))))))))))))))))...
I am so sorry to hear this,all i can say is you could get advice from your Doctor,but please remember that you are special and you will find as you go through life that you will meet a lot of people that you will be very special to.I am sure you have already got friends that feel this already towards you but you may not realise it and i am sure you will overcome this,one day you will have children of your own and to them you will be the most important person in the world.Good luck you wonderful person.
It's kind of mind over matter - if you stop minding you'll find it doesn't matter. I know that's an over-simplification but if you stop and think about it, most of what you're suffering now is because of your own self-image which colours your idea of how other people see you.
Talk to a counsellor and they'll explain it much better than I can.
You have all it takes to be great - really you do.
First just embrace the fact that you were given the gift of life. People are basically selfish and I think it comes from nature. We need to be a bit selfish for our basic survival.
Another thing I know is "looks" really matter. If you noticed in school the athletic better looking boys and girls got all the attention. Even in grade school children are shunned if they don't look a certain way. We are taught to be nice to each other, and girls are sugar and spice and everything nice (or is that rotten). I am sure you noticed that children are horrible to each other and don't even say hello to each other.
All the attention the good looking people receive gives them a false sense of worth. Think of the Bruce Springsteen song "Glory Days".
You find that even if you have people that like you and invite you over for parties or dinner it doesn't really make you feel you matter. People don't really want to speak about personal things, or things that would nurture your spirit. That only comes from a very close dear friend. So just having casual friends won't make you feel special.
Truthfully it is good to embrace the thought that nobody is special and they really don't matter. That is really how people treat each other. Sure it would be great if we could feel special but there are many people who don't grow up with that luxury. You are better off knowing that your happiness needs to come from within.
It is better to come from the point of knowing that life really stinks but we work at it to make life joyful.
People who get depressed are under the false illusion that life is perfect for everybody but them. They get so caught up in feeling sorry for themselves they forget the joys that are possible in life.
We all need to pick the three or four fun things we really love doing and do them frequently. We need to give ourselves any joy we can while we are here. Too many people make their lives drudgery by toiling at home like they are slaves. Who gives a crap if the house is spotless. They should go out and have fun.
ME TOO, IT TOOK AGES, BUT I NOW RELY ON ONLY MYSELF...AND I MUCH PREFER THE COMPANY OF ANIMALS TO THAT OF PEOPLE...NEVER GOT OVER BEING RESENTFUL AND ANGRY ABOUT MY PARENTS THOUGH
I really, really, don't want to come across as mean, however, I had a childhood that most people couldn't imagine. After all the years and all the therapy my best advice to you is just get over it and get on with your life. Hopefully this experience of your's will help you to become a great parent. Never indulge in self pity or self recrimination. Life is seldom fair and can be quite painful at times as I'm sure you know. "No man hath affliction enough, for affliction is a treasure". We can learn from our adversity and become better people because of it.
I believe that the better who can advise you is a specialist.
He can give you guidelines in order that you find ways of communicating with the others with that you should obtain that the affection arrives to you.
You will be more capable of knowing new people also.
But i´m sure that there are many people for whom you matter and it is good to find the bridge towards them.
A greeting and a lot of luck.
you don't but life goes on that is what most of us do get on with it you cant live in the past
I'm not sure you can completely forget whatever happened in your childhood. The best revenge though - the best 'up yours' is to make a success of your life. Trite, I know, but "no one can make your feel inferior without your consent". Don't let the people who let you down win.
Hunny, I felt the same as you growing up.I kinda felt ugly on the inside!? NOW I have two beautiful, confident HAPPY kids.that's because I love them above myself! I am a better parent/person than whom I was brought up by!
It took me so long to believe that I deserved to be here and to be me without apologising...but I am loved, have good friends and I am gratefull for everything!
Your demons are memories that can be buried...they sometimes re-surface when feel insecure or threatened, but it's up to you to try to bury them, life is too short babe!! Believe in your special qualities that you posses and make a future for yourself!
You will one day have a lil family of your own and know that happiness is there for you.
Everyone deserves and has the right to be happy.your day will come;o]
God bless ya babe!
X
it dont matter how special you were when you were growing up it matters that you make you self special now you have the power to make you feel special fogetting is hard but remember that no one lives your life but you show them that all those years arein the pass and that it never mattered what they thinked about you you are special in every way and your happy with your self and comfortable with being you do what ever it takes confront the person or just let it go demand answers or live for your self be happy be you forget this its not worth you attension...divert that attension to something that makes you happy ...
The fact that you survived the trauma of such a childhood intact proves that you are special.
Don't be negative about yourself, we all have something to contribute to life which is special. All you have to do is to find out what your contribution is, - and then go after it.
You have a negative self image, which is typical of a small child who did not get the opportunity to form good attachments. - We all need to form those attachments in order to develop what are known as 'internal working models' of both ourselves and other people. (An internal working model is a mental representation of ourselves and other people). - It is well known that children who experience your kind of childhood tend to build negative internal working models.
The solution is to go back to the beginning and to try to learn how to build attachments with people; - they will then act positively towards you and this may help to change your own mental representation of yourself. - Basically, what I am saying is what you put into forming attachments with others is what you will get back.
Hope this helps.
B
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