Do I push really everybody away?
I have learned to be friendly with people, even tried to make friends and to have many ppl around me. I became moral, sensitive and i do not know.
but still, everyone pushes me away. help
Answer:
I promise you that not everyone dislikes you-
life can be very confusing and difficult at the moment, and you may not in fact be pushing everyone away at all.
Stay confident in yourself- it's confusing but in my opinion there is no clear pattern as to how things work out with relationships or even friendships.
To be honest keep trying to meet people, as the higher the number of people you are speaking to and getting to know the more likely that positive results will happen.
Try not calling them three times a day.
how old are you
well im not being mean but im not being sugar coated about this
fact is its something to do with you
if this really is bothering you might consider thereaphy or atleast if one person tells you why then thats is a start
i believ you probally are a very good person you should talk to someone about the way you act around others its not something you can fix on your own
i wish you the best of luck in the future my friend
x
NBV, I'm so sorry for the pain you're feeling.
You deserve a lot of credit for studying and learning to be friendly with people. Certainly your Q here today is reaching out (and not pushing ppl away).
I have been working on lifestyle changes for a long time too. Keep working at it. You'll get there. Look for small things and not big things to see that you're making progress.
One thought would be to put a smile on your face. Change your Avatar from sad to glad.
Continue with Y!A writing Q'a and A's. Make some contacts. Again, it's kinda a small thing, but it makes me feel good connecting with others here.
Smile.
Linda Lou
Maybe they are picking up on the fact that you are not entirely comfortable in your own skin yet
My life is exactly the same way. I have no issues with my personality, but it seems people are far less merciful towards my imperfections.
This is the bane of my existence and I could type all day about it, but just know that you're not the only one out there like this.
BTW I noticed your avatar. If you are Jewish, that religion is great because there is an ethnic and religious unity. Those are two things that are difficult to be broken. I can't imagine how you wouldn't at least have some friends from the synagogue.
I was raised in a Christian upbringing, but religion by itself isn't enough to keep people caring about you. There has to be that ethnic connection. The Jews have that, and I envy it quite a bit.
i just read a very interesting article that said--- most Americans have only 1 or 2 close friends. your not the only person with this problem. its hard to find people that you like!..people are just weird. and you need to find a person with your exact weirdness -then you wont push them away.
aw the fact that you came on here shows you care and i give ya credit! definitely.
Maybe its for the past memories that people are still upset with you?
Nothing happens overnight. Especially change. Keep focused on who you want to be or what you want and it WILL happen. Learn patience as a virtue. First of all you have to know what kind of people you want around you. This is very important!! The people you have around you WILL dictate what kind of person you are. In my younger days I kept company with a lot of not so nice people like mobsters and criminals and guess what kind of person I was. More recently I keep company with the complete opposite of spectrum of people. Hence the double entendre of my name!! Not to be an -sshole or anything, but check your hygiene. Your appearance has everything to do with everything.
You contradict yourself. First you say that you pushed people away so they don't hate you. You also say that everyone still pushes you away despite your efforts to make friends.
Some people fear that others will hate them so they push them away to spare themselves the possible pain that they would feel from rejection. But they cannot admit or hold onto the idea that they were the ones who initiated the rejection, so they turn it around and say that others pushed them away.
You may need to examine why you felt you pushed people away in the first place. This may give you some insight into your feelings regarding friendship in the first place.
Personal relationships are hard.
I travel a lot. Mostly by myself. I have had great friendships, and yes, even a few love affairs with people I'd only know a short time. Some of my friends I still talk to, others have gone thier way in life. That isn't a bad thing. I hove found that something doesn't need to last a long time to be wonderful.
Usually, when you have a hard time making friends, it's because your are not comfortable with the people you are with. I believe that all people belong to a kind of "tribe."
I don't feel comfortable with people who think that money is important. I think it is worthless. I used to work for a lawyer. Most lawyers are really into money. I don't have a lot in common with them. They are not of "my tribe."
I think you just haven't found out what "tribe" you belong to. In our modern life we spend so much time sitting along with our computers we forget to make time to meet other people.
Start with your hobbies or a sport. If there is something you enjoy doing, join others who do it. Get involved. Do something. You start down one path, who knows where it will take.
Sometimes you have to stand up and take control. It's your life.
I also think you should change your avatar. Don't think of yourself as a sad person. You are an adventurer about to begin the journey of a lifetime. Be bold, be strong. Being scared is ok, we all get scared. We have to move past it.
In my heart, I know you are going to be ok. You are sure putting in a lot of work to make your life better. That's all it takes!
Joe
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