Why does being cared about bother me?
A friend and I were having a discussion about some things going on in her life. What it was about isn't important, but she informed me that she cared about me and didn't want me getting hurt. It's not the situation that is bothering me. What relly bothers me is she said she cares about me and doesn't want me getting myself hurt. I do not understand why this is something that bothers me and the thing about it it's not bothering me a little bit, it really rubbed me the wrong way, and I do not understand why.
Answer:
You probably have a very independent personality and enjoy doing things on your own. To have someone else care about you could give you a feeling of less independence, which can make you feel uneasy. It's OK to have someone else care about you...that's THEIR feeling, not yours, so let them be concerned for you, but go on your merry way and be yourself anyway. d:)
A lot of guys want to feel like they're a big enough man to be able to handle themselves. When someone suddenlt "cares" or "worries" about you it's like "Hey, are you saying I'm some kind of sissy?" I know a wonderful man who just hates being "helped". I'm guessing you're along the same lines.
I think it's because if somebody cares about you, you have the potential of letting them down. For example, the girl you were talking to, you don't want her to feel responsible for things that happen to you, or how you feel, or anything like that.
You were probably raised to be self sufficient and feel people cared for is a sign of weakness. I have the same problem.
because teens think they are invinceable and nothing can happen to us, but we need for someone to tell us that we can get hurt, die, etc.
It makes you rethink the situation
Because you feel like you can take care of yourself. Your a dude and have pride in being the protector, not the other way around.
well has anyone else ever told u this its hard to except new things like a emotion from a nother person that u probably never though the same about
or noone has ever told u that
Ask yourself...have you EVER felt as if someone has cared about you? If not...even if people HAVE cared about you...it may feel very out of the ordinary for someone to tell you that. It could be making you uncomfortable because PERHAPS...you think that if someone says they care and don't want you to be hurt...it sounds (in your interpretation) as if she thinks you're not strong enough to handle her situation?
I believe it holds you a little more accountable for your actions and experiences. You realize now that you not only affect yourself but those who take this special interest in you. You are almost held to a higher standard in this regard. It is not always easy for people to appreciate or accept this.
Maybe you are just scared that things are leading in a direction you don't want them to lead. Is she really just a friend or does she think of you as more? I would just say that you were probably just comfortable with the way things were and then having her tell you she really cares about you kind of through everything into dismay. It happens, don't fret about it too much.
It wasn't the being cared about that bothered you, it was either:
a) the insinuation that you didn't know what you were doing and actually needed help.
b) that you knew your friend was right, and you were actually mad at yourself but redirecting that anger
c) both of the above
Some people feel threatened by someone else caring about them. This can come from all kinds of different experiences in our childhoods or adult life. Her telling you she cares for you implies that you may have to return the caring. That fact alone can bother some people. It's really not an uncommon thing. If it continues to bother you, perhaps you could have a talk with her and let her know how you feel. If not-you've just learned something about yourself and that's always valuable.
im in the same situation, with an old friend i just started talking to again, and i guess i just hate that they care because it makes me feel guilty for what i do, and i makes me feel like i have to be responsible for them. that makes me mad too i don't know why i just know i didn't ask them to care but they do anyway because they're a good person and i just end up trying to push them away
maybe u just feel like u can take care of urself by urself
Hey. I know how you feel. I have the same feeling sometimes. My best friend will sometimes tell me that he cares about me, doesnt want me to get hurt, and says he wouldnt know what to do if I ever left. In a way it kinda makes me feel awkward and I just feel like shoving him away once in a while. Its the same way with my family sometimes. Its just a thing. Some people love to be told how much their loved and cared for and cherished and on the other hand it just makes some people feel flat out wierd. im both ways. its nothing to worry about, it just means that you dont like it. maybe she came on a little strong to you by saying that, or maybe you just have an independent personality. whatever it is, its no big deal. I know how it feels, but you get over it pretty fast. I hope this helped!
~Tyanna lynae~
A bunch of people probably already said this, Dude, you got dumped.
That's what's really bothering you.
Stop being neurotic and just feel the pain.
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Answer:
You probably have a very independent personality and enjoy doing things on your own. To have someone else care about you could give you a feeling of less independence, which can make you feel uneasy. It's OK to have someone else care about you...that's THEIR feeling, not yours, so let them be concerned for you, but go on your merry way and be yourself anyway. d:)
A lot of guys want to feel like they're a big enough man to be able to handle themselves. When someone suddenlt "cares" or "worries" about you it's like "Hey, are you saying I'm some kind of sissy?" I know a wonderful man who just hates being "helped". I'm guessing you're along the same lines.
I think it's because if somebody cares about you, you have the potential of letting them down. For example, the girl you were talking to, you don't want her to feel responsible for things that happen to you, or how you feel, or anything like that.
You were probably raised to be self sufficient and feel people cared for is a sign of weakness. I have the same problem.
because teens think they are invinceable and nothing can happen to us, but we need for someone to tell us that we can get hurt, die, etc.
It makes you rethink the situation
Because you feel like you can take care of yourself. Your a dude and have pride in being the protector, not the other way around.
well has anyone else ever told u this its hard to except new things like a emotion from a nother person that u probably never though the same about
or noone has ever told u that
Ask yourself...have you EVER felt as if someone has cared about you? If not...even if people HAVE cared about you...it may feel very out of the ordinary for someone to tell you that. It could be making you uncomfortable because PERHAPS...you think that if someone says they care and don't want you to be hurt...it sounds (in your interpretation) as if she thinks you're not strong enough to handle her situation?
I believe it holds you a little more accountable for your actions and experiences. You realize now that you not only affect yourself but those who take this special interest in you. You are almost held to a higher standard in this regard. It is not always easy for people to appreciate or accept this.
Maybe you are just scared that things are leading in a direction you don't want them to lead. Is she really just a friend or does she think of you as more? I would just say that you were probably just comfortable with the way things were and then having her tell you she really cares about you kind of through everything into dismay. It happens, don't fret about it too much.
It wasn't the being cared about that bothered you, it was either:
a) the insinuation that you didn't know what you were doing and actually needed help.
b) that you knew your friend was right, and you were actually mad at yourself but redirecting that anger
c) both of the above
Some people feel threatened by someone else caring about them. This can come from all kinds of different experiences in our childhoods or adult life. Her telling you she cares for you implies that you may have to return the caring. That fact alone can bother some people. It's really not an uncommon thing. If it continues to bother you, perhaps you could have a talk with her and let her know how you feel. If not-you've just learned something about yourself and that's always valuable.
im in the same situation, with an old friend i just started talking to again, and i guess i just hate that they care because it makes me feel guilty for what i do, and i makes me feel like i have to be responsible for them. that makes me mad too i don't know why i just know i didn't ask them to care but they do anyway because they're a good person and i just end up trying to push them away
maybe u just feel like u can take care of urself by urself
Hey. I know how you feel. I have the same feeling sometimes. My best friend will sometimes tell me that he cares about me, doesnt want me to get hurt, and says he wouldnt know what to do if I ever left. In a way it kinda makes me feel awkward and I just feel like shoving him away once in a while. Its the same way with my family sometimes. Its just a thing. Some people love to be told how much their loved and cared for and cherished and on the other hand it just makes some people feel flat out wierd. im both ways. its nothing to worry about, it just means that you dont like it. maybe she came on a little strong to you by saying that, or maybe you just have an independent personality. whatever it is, its no big deal. I know how it feels, but you get over it pretty fast. I hope this helped!
~Tyanna lynae~
A bunch of people probably already said this, Dude, you got dumped.
That's what's really bothering you.
Stop being neurotic and just feel the pain.
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