My sister is getting married to my ex...no one knew about our affair. i feel sick...?
Answer:
First, you didn't have an affair, you were raped, you were 16 he was 23.
second, if they get married you can bet he'll hit on you again and you'll go for it and that will fuckk everything up anyway.
Third, It's not your problem because it happened two years ago, It's her problem, she's about to marry an assshole.
You need to tell her and hope for the best. the two families involved in this sound all fuckked up. Good luck.
well, maybe you still feel something for him! i think the best thing to do is let your sister know about your past affair. it'd be worse if they eventually get married. let her know and let HER decide what to do. Especially if you still feel something for the dude
Okay it was a while ago but I think you should explain things to your sister before she gets married and if she is cool with things after that then...that is on her ...but honesty is a huge part of marriage and if he the X cannot tell your sister it is your duty to let her know what happened before.. so that way she wont find out later on when she is already married.
Hi, Have you told your sister how you feel and what this guy has done to you.
Don't go trying to kill yourself.
Just to see if he honest or just fooling around, put a key logger on his system, where it mails you a report everyday or anytime you want, and atleast you will have proof to show your sister. email if you want any info
first love is always like that, but it's time you try to grow out of this.
and since you are a woman, you can always think what would it do to that man when you are with someone else.
The answer is quite absurd.You either accept that he is going to be your brother - in -law or walk straight to your sister and talk it over. I would suggest that you talk it over coz you never know how many women have been laid down by him.So,infact,if you talk to your sister about it,it would be something like saving your sis.life.Or maybe,if you are scared to put your name into it,tell it as someone else's story.But i would seriously consider you talking to your sister as to who knows that he wont spill it up himself to your sister after marriage and your sister will hate you and on top of that their marriage also will be down.So,better take the step right now and make a change to your life as well as your sis.life right away.take the courage and i am sure you have loads of it.
Your strong feelings are very understandable and NORMAL.
Aside from the emotions that would awaken in any individual whose ex was marrying her/his sibling, you are coping alone with a secret. This is extremely stressful. You are in a crisis situation.
Your ex was a grown man who slept with a 16 year old.
(If there are other young girls in your family, this is not the type of info. that should be hidden from adults!)
From your above description, the man in question encouraged you to maintain a clandestine relationship for his illicit selfish reasons. Then, he prevailed upon your older sister to keep her relationship with him secret until she was allowed to suddenly announce that they were engaged.
In order to put the "affair" behind you, please consider going immediately for short-term crisis counseling to understand what happened and come to terms with your feelings. This will also help you to truly move on.
Before you let your sister know about your past relationship with her fiance, the professional counselor (social worker or psychologist) will also help you to decide what actions are best for you.
Only speak with your sister when you have prepared for your talk. Make clear that you love her, that you accept her decision (no matter what it is) and that you don't want to maintain destructive secrets that could potentially harm your relationship with her.
Secrets in a family can be highly destructive. The secret that you describe involves members of 2 families. It will probably eventually cause damage in future. Discussing your options with a trained counselor BEFORE your sister gets married should enable you to recover from this crisis and feel better than ever about yourself.
There are more potential problems in not telling your sister than in telling her. You have to understand that women are emotionally tied to sex from the word go. This is not necessarily true of men. Unless the relationship was built up and strong, chances are this past that you shared was a physical one to him and little more.
Do different self-talk. It is also time to let go of your virgin status. IT's apparent that it's costing you peace of mind. He's the one person that knows that everything isn't as it appears to be with you. Quite alot of knowledge for a brother-in-law to have. That set-up is right away allying you with him, and all the alliances for him should be with your sister.
So, again; tell her. Not because he may or may not be an @ss. But it's time to come clean, let her handle this truth. Putting all the players on level ground.
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