What is the most important thing that a friend of a DV victim can do for her?
Be patient.
Tell her to leave her children and run. They'll be OK.
Ask her what she's waiting for and tell her to "Just leave!"
Tell her horror stories about abused women.
Answer:
Be patient. Talk with your friend about the most devastating thing about DV- the children. Boys who grow up with DV become abusers when they are grown and girls who grow up with DV become victims. Ask her if thats what she wants for her kids.
Find the local DV shelter, get some information from them for her-DO NOT HAVE HER TAKE THE INFO HOME!If he finds it she could be in danger. Then she has access to help when she needs it. They will have a group support meeting if you can get her to go even if you have to go with her -it would be a good thing!
Be patient -be her friend- be there to help her when she finally makes a decision to leave!!
hold on
ALWAYS be there for her, sooner or later she will gather the courage to finally leave. Yet~ be aware that until she's strong enough WITHIN herself u can't leave for her. It's all up to her. So be strong and be that true friend, "bashing the 'other' or constantly repeating how bad it is, only makes her insictively defend or agree with u. All depends on where she is on the l-o-n-g journey back to who she is. hope this helps stay true to u
Once she accepts he will never change, then she might find the courage to change.
Until then, she will continue to believe that he's really a great guy underneath it all and she can somehow do something to make the situation better, that she can monitor her behaviour, she can stop him being violent.
Make sure she has the contact details for a refuge for the next time it happens, that is when she is most likely to seek the help she needs to make the break. Once the dust settles down again, she'll start forgiving him all over and making excuses again.
In the meantime, if she has children you could perhaps find literature to explain that daughters of battered wives are more likely to become battered wives and sons of battered wives are more likely to batter their wives, although bear in mind that it may make her feel worse about herself and blame herself even more.
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Tell her to leave her children and run. They'll be OK.
Ask her what she's waiting for and tell her to "Just leave!"
Tell her horror stories about abused women.
Answer:
Be patient. Talk with your friend about the most devastating thing about DV- the children. Boys who grow up with DV become abusers when they are grown and girls who grow up with DV become victims. Ask her if thats what she wants for her kids.
Find the local DV shelter, get some information from them for her-DO NOT HAVE HER TAKE THE INFO HOME!If he finds it she could be in danger. Then she has access to help when she needs it. They will have a group support meeting if you can get her to go even if you have to go with her -it would be a good thing!
Be patient -be her friend- be there to help her when she finally makes a decision to leave!!
hold on
ALWAYS be there for her, sooner or later she will gather the courage to finally leave. Yet~ be aware that until she's strong enough WITHIN herself u can't leave for her. It's all up to her. So be strong and be that true friend, "bashing the 'other' or constantly repeating how bad it is, only makes her insictively defend or agree with u. All depends on where she is on the l-o-n-g journey back to who she is. hope this helps stay true to u
Once she accepts he will never change, then she might find the courage to change.
Until then, she will continue to believe that he's really a great guy underneath it all and she can somehow do something to make the situation better, that she can monitor her behaviour, she can stop him being violent.
Make sure she has the contact details for a refuge for the next time it happens, that is when she is most likely to seek the help she needs to make the break. Once the dust settles down again, she'll start forgiving him all over and making excuses again.
In the meantime, if she has children you could perhaps find literature to explain that daughters of battered wives are more likely to become battered wives and sons of battered wives are more likely to batter their wives, although bear in mind that it may make her feel worse about herself and blame herself even more.
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