Why do so many people seek approval to get people to like them?
I used to like this girl as a friend but she started seeking my approval. Eventually it completely wore down my nerves and now I try to avoid talking to her.
Why do people do this ... is it just natural?
Answer:
well..most people do it...but there are some people who do it silently and some who are more forceful and forward abt it ..seeking approval is something all people do but to really varying degrees..the more insecure they are about whether or not the other persn likes them,the more they may seek approval from tht person..ppl who seek approval want to constantly be reminded that they matter to somebody..that they're important to someone or the other..they're like little babies (metaphorically speaking) that need to be reassured every five minutes that their 'mommy's there' or whatever..it's basically a HUGE question of insecurity...it all boils down to how insecure you are...
we all want to be accepted and loved.
maby thay feel not loved or thay just want to feal normal in some problems thay just want to be cool do u get wat im saying
I think life is easier when less people dislike you.
I believe it is natural to want companionship and be accepted. How one goes about trying to get it usually is about how one has grown up and 'learned" to be social. I think that those who try to seek out approval are of low self-esteem, confidence and/or poor social skills. If one knew a better way, they would do it!
Perhaps you didn't really like your friend? We all need approval but to different degrees. We are raised with a reward/punishment system; if we are "good" we get rewarded, if we are "bad" we get punished.
Most people perceive themselves as others reflect back to them.
Think about it this way:
Let’s say you got up in the morning. You never felt better. In fact you feel great!
Your mother says “are you ok? You look pale!”
Your sister says” Wow. You don’t look so good. Do you have a fever?”
EVERYONE you see asks you if you feel ok, do you need to sit down, etc..
How long will it take until you actually FEEL sick?
People who do not feel confident about themselves inside look to the outside for some “Clarification”.
Your female friend was one that obviously did not feel confident about herself.
Think about movie stars that are told ALL the time they are “Great” After a while; you have to KNOW they are full of themselves.
This is normal human nature. You have experienced the shallow end of confidence in her.
She sounded like a psychic vampire. People who act like this and "Creep you out" are using more of your attention then is natural, anyway.
I believe that this is just natural. If you like someone, you almost have to want their approval. If you didn't want their approval, why bother liking them?
I guess it's just that people want to be told that they're loved and/or cared about, and what they do matters and is appreciated.
We sometimes seek other people's approval because we lack self-confidence. We all want to accepted and loved for who and what we are. But oftentimes, instead of just simply being ourselves and damn what other people think, we tend to be someone we're not in order to make other people like us. In doing so, we end up losing our own individuality and uniqueness and end up as someone we either hate or others hate. It sometimes stems from childhood. It usually happens to those who, as a child, constantly seeks the approval of their parents to get them to acknowledge his/her existence. Somehow, when one is not able to grow out of it, it tends to contaminate other relationships with friends, relatives and significant others.
I think, instead of trying to avoid your friend, I think you should try and talk to her. make her see that she can be who she wants to be. help her. when you avoid her, she might think that she's doing something wrong again and repeats the same scenario with other people. you need to make her see that she doesn't need anybody's approval to be herself. that's what makes her unique. help her get over her insecurities. that's waht a FRIEND would do.
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