I have problems with being honest?
Like yesterday I tried to tell my man the truth that I slept with my ex the day before(i felt very sinful to be with him). He was so generous to give me another chance but then I told him again later that night that I've made all that up to test him. Now he wants to break off with me because he has totally lost trust in me.
I want people to think that I'm a good girl and I'm ok so much that I lie a lot, even to myself. I don't want to continue this anymore, these feelings are about to explode and all I want is to be mentally healthy without going to the doctor!
How am I gonna work it out ?
Answer:
Am I following this? You slept with your ex. Told your bf. He was cool about it. THEN you told him you made it up as a test?
Why in the world would you say you were testing him? Whether that is true or not it leaves him feeling that you don't trust him. You're lying in this particular instance to make yourself feel better about dissing your man. You can't be trusted so you feel you don't deserve his love and respect and you want him to feel that he's as bad off as you. Misery love company. You start to believe that he will be as decepetive and underhanded as you are.
You have to realize that some people will accept you as you are and some people won't. Those people who accept you for who you are, are the ones you want in your life. Trying to live a lie is just plain stressful. Give yourself a rest and be truthful with others. The truth will set you free.
I have the same problem. I think that people will have a problem with me if I'm honest with them (Like I'm so honest it sounds fake). I probably will always have this problem. If you don't want to go to a therapist (me either!) then, it'll probably take pure willpower.
maybe you shouldn't play mind games with your bf like that its a bit of a turn-off.
it just seems like you have trouble trusting people and maybe even yourself, now how would you fix this? dont assume anything about anything.
Honesty does not preclude privacy. You have no obligation to divulge more about yourself than makes you comfortable. If there are subjects about your past to be shared, you have the right to choose to whom and at what point in a relationship it is appropriate, if at all. A marriage candidate is deserving of any pertinent knowledge. However, this would occur only after a trust has developed over a reasonable time.
Playing mind games is the worse thing you can do with a man. Imagine if he had said these things to you, and how much it would have hurt your feelings, then to turn round and tell him it was all to test him? If a man had done this to you you would not be able to comprehend how anyone who claimed to care about you could be so cruel. What you did to him was cruel, and now he will know that if you are so cruel to him you can't trully love him. We don't hurt the ones we love on purpose. It's like the love we have for a child, we don't take pleasure in upsetting them. We do everything we can to make them as happy as possible. Love is love, whoever it is directed at, and what you did was the exact opposite.
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