What can I do to make matters better?

My 8 year old daughter gets jealous of people especially her dad if he gives attention to any one else. She was the only child until she was 3 and everytime we had a new baby (2) she always went through a tough time of feeling unloved. I always included her with all the baby stuff. We made sure we always paid her attention also. We never left her out. But she is 8 now and she still has times of feeling down. She can be happy one minute then all of a sudden, while in the same environment, she gets an attitude. No matter what you do she will not smile. She acts as if she does not want to be happy. It is very discouraging and I do not know what to do. We do stuff together. We cook, crafts, camping, hiking, she has friends over and we have a peaceful home so I am at a loss as of what to do to make matters better. I would appreciate any suggestions. I have tried ignoring it and that doesn't work. Spanking does not work. It makes her feel like we don't love her. Please help!

Answer:
have you tried posting positive notes to her...just little things...on her mirror...on her pillow...just something small...get a packet of coloured post it notes and just write little things to her...never put both positive and negative together though it is a mistake we all make...ex: don't say...i love and am sorry about this afternoon...just say...i love you...you are special to me...your hair looked so nice today...i really liked that outfit you picked out...did you know how special you are to me?...i would like to make a lunch date with you...that type of thing...it wont change over night but it will give her positive thoughts throughout her day...you can make them up in your spare time and just post them as you see fit...but make sure they are consistent...because she will expect them and if you stop she will think you stopped...you can even find little quotes on the net to write down...good luck to you and if you run out of things email me and i will post some to you...

mabey if for a while u ignore her completly than after a while she will apprciate the time that u spend with her.

sorry don't know hope she grows out of it soon good luck

All kids go through volatile stages when you dont know how they will react to things... try sitting her down and urging her to talk to you about what shes feeling or why she doesnt feel happy. Then assure her that she is not loved any less because you have 2 other babies. If she does not improve, you can always take her to a child psycologist. I dont know how often depression runs in children, but it might be something that she needs to be treated for.

well, it is OK if she gets down some of the time. but she needs to learn how to handle that feeling. She IS getting less of your time than she did before the other kids came along.

One thing you can do that might help is to do her favorite things JUST with her - you know, like a one hour date each week that is just for her and you - no siblings.

and, a different point, it would not hurt for both of you to talk to a clinical psychologist or child psychologist to make sure that her down times are within the normal range - just to make sure it isn't something more serious.

Good luck - this seems like it would be tough on you.

1st has she a weight problem?
2nd has she friends she plays with? you could ask her friends if they know what makes her this way.
3rd has she bin abused?
it's kind of hard to answer this question, my 8yr old neice was like that 2, only thing was every meal time, she got upset, and we all new it was her weight what made her feel this way.
good luck with her, if u cant get an answer on hear, speak to your doctor about her.

Try talking to her. She is to the point now where she thinks that she is a grown up, remember what you were like then. Times are tougher even now. It seems like she might be closer with your husband than yourself, so have him talk to her first if this would be a better arrangment or both of you alone with her sibling(s) away from the house. Explain what you haev been experienceing even your frustratoins, and try to understand what is going on in her world. It may have nothing to do with you guys at all. Also, explain to her that this kind of behavior isn't going to be the norm around the house, and you want to help her feel better.

These are all just my opinion. My little angel is only 5 and she was always a big part of my son's life, they are but 15 months apart, and I am expecting again now, I'll see how they handle it with being older.

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What can I do to make matters better?

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