Why do SOME women sleep with men so easily? Does anyone have any ideas on the psychology for it?
I was sexually abused when I was younger. Do you think this has anything to do with it? I did have counciling for it and thought I was over it.
It's just that some men can get me to do anything!! Help!
Answer:
People who were sexually abused can go towards either end of the spectrum; some become overly promiscuous and some become almost asexual. This is not a general rule, but it does happen. First, I am very sorry about what happened to you when you were younger. I don't think that we ever truly get over something like that; we just learn how to cope with it, and it becomes part of who we are.
For some women, they confuse sex with love and affection. They use sex as a tool to gain approval from men, and some men exploit this fact. Just because a man wants to have sex with you doesn't mean he loves you or even necessarily likes you. Some men just like to amass conquests. It's immature and inconsiderate, but it happens.
The most concerning element of your question is that you say some men can get you to do anything. That statement implies that you don't feel like you are always in control of your actions. Perhaps, you should resume counseling, so you can feel more confident in your own abilities. It's perfectly OK to say "no" to men. In fact, the ones that pressure you, are usually NOT the ones that you want to be with. You deserve someone who will support your goals and respect your wishes. Don't settle for less.
Have you considered the possibility that there is nothing wrong with it?
if your not comfortable DON'T! for crying out loud. you don't need to sleep with any men besides your husband! then it won't matter!
Constant need for love and attention from men...and the abuse could definitely be a part of it. Was it by a family member? You may be confused with thinking that sex= love!
Well, they search out women who they know probably have emotional or confidence issues. They literally bring you into their world and just use you. You probably do not know this, but you still have issues. You need to see what you can do to stop this. Look for the signs and try to hold back, make a plan for yourself. Stick to it.
"Black Snake Moan"
Most of the time when women have been sexually abused, they continue to try and recreate what happened to them because to them, that is what is normal. And although it may feel wrong, they think that that is the only way to gain attention or love. Also sometimes when women are missing a father figure in their life, they are trying to fill that empty space with men, even if its just for the time being.
we don't feel complete and whole on our own. We feel complete when a man is desiring us ( I must be good if he wants me). Problem is, nothing outside of our own self will ever complete us or make us feel whole in the long term.
Some people found something wrong with it in their youth. Perhaps it was the constant censorship of parents over what's good and not good to watch and / or speak of. Being celibate isn't a bad thing. If it suits you; keep it that way. Chances are if it's that big of an issue, the guy isn't for you anyway. There's more than to life than intercourse, and intercourse is natures way of promoting itself. I'd rather run my own body than have drives control me. If I did, what would make me any different than any other addict? In the end it all comes down to will and where you put your focus. You can have life any way you want it with a strong definite decision, focus, and will.
Some women are Nymphomaniacs. This just means that no matter how many times they are satisfied sexually it's not enough. So it would be the physical part. For some it is the attention they want. For some they are actually inclined to see love at first sight a lot. For some and this is not her fault, They are told by the guy that he loves her. And then they never see her again. I think you are probably a little bit of the last 2 I mentioned. The only answer is That the right guy will come around someday soon and you will finally get happiness and so will he. Good luck. Hang in there and try flirting and playing hard to get. The good guys will wait until you are ready and then they will be loving and loyal and faithful.
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