How can one stay calm when somebody behaves in a bad way?

Probably everyone faces situations where someone else unjustifiably behaves in a bad way with her/him. In my case, I feel so upset when this happens. I want to know how you people react in such a situation. If you see a lot of people around you are reluctant to their duty, what do you do? Do you just lower your level of expectation from that community and plan to go somewhere better or try to teach the concerned person a lesson? Aother doubt of mine is, many great teachers have taught us to be tolerant (Jesus, Swami Vivekananda etc,). Some say that one should stop looking at the bad sides among others. In our practical lives can we really do that? Even those who taught this kind of things, probably didnot stop looking at bad sides of others. I am confused at this point. What is your opinion about this?

Answer:
Staying calm is relative to your ability to stay centered within. By staying centered, you are able to hold your anger and use it creatively. At times when someone behaves in a negative manner towards you it has nothing to do with you, unfortunately they have no other way to direct their personal problems. As the great Bruce Lee says (to paraphrase him), if you have to defend yourself try fighting without fighting.
People here at my work have to take parenting classes and in the parenting classes they teach you who owns the problem. so if it doesn't apply to you why worry. that is there life not yours you choose the people who you want in your life forget about the others around you just as long as there not hurting you or any one around you or a loved one. then go on with your life.
See no evil
hear no evil
speak no evil that's the mantra
Well, I work in the retail industry, at a grocery store, so I deal with many people who behave in an obnoxious manner. It's even worse because we get all the people who have a ton of money because Microsoft's campus is rather close. Anyway, I usually just think to myself, "Don't bring yourself down to their level. Don't do it. Keep your calm." Sometimes I do get upset, I'll admit, but doesn't everybody at some point in time?

I try to see the good in people, I really do. I'm not in any way shallow, and, as much as someone may bother me, if I see that glimmer of hope in them, I won't let go of it because I KNOW it's there. You have to think about their situation and what's going on that could be causing it.

I'm rather analytical, though. It gets me in trouble with myself. I think too much about what does not require much thought at all.
If you are saying that you have trouble with someone over and over and you want to teach them a lesson,...don't even try.People only change behaviour when they want to. And if this has been working for them for a long time, they are not about to listen to you!
They would only retaliate and things would get worse for you.
If you are saying that you are trying to look for the best in people and find it hard...why yes...it is!
Every person can teach us something though, I find. Even if it is how not to be. Find the positive in this obnoxious person if you must endure them. That does not mean that you let them bully you, or victimize you. That does not mean that you make excuses for their times of bad behaviour. You just look for what IS positive.
i.e. I know a person that is highly untrustworthy. I am careful with my dealings with her. However, she is very energetic and is not lazy by any means. So I laud that part of the personality and watch out for the other part...
And that is the best that I can do. I am not a great teacher of great insights!
Its simple just follow the cycle

happy-->think about sad or take it as simple but enjoy
sad-->think about good that you will be getting a experience

disturbing-->just watch as television program
If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies. ...First keep the peace within yourself, then you can also bring peace to others. ..You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom. ....I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it...The deepest feeling always shows itself in silence.,....Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy, if I could say how much. ,....True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment. ,.....Silence is one of the great arts of conversation, as allowed by Cicero himself, who says, 'there is not only an art, but an eloquence in it.' A well bred woman may easily and effectually promote the most useful and elegant conversation without speaking...Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better. Silence is deep as Eternity; speech is shallow as Time.....He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful. ....Nothing is so good for an ignorant man as silence; and if he was sensible of this he would not be ignorant. .....Silence is the virtue of fools..
no body can hurt me without my concern.
- Mahatma Gandhi

there is gap between responce and the stimulus in which person csn change the world
-Victor Frankl

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