How Can Someone Cut Through All of the Superficial Problems That They Have?
Answer:
For one, try not taking things so personally. If someone says something negative or gives you his opinion, was he directly involved in a conversation about you? Was he answering a question that you asked? In other words, some people just throw out things or point them out in the dozens of conversations they have in a day, and they really don't mean to personalize matters. Think about how many OTHERS that person might be doing the same to in a day and it really doesn't mean much at all to the speaker. You could be zeroing in and absorbing all that's negative and that just gets piled up inside a person. If that's the case, you'll never dig your way out of that hole; things will just get deeper and darker.
If you're worried about others judging you, remember that they breathe the same air as you, they bleed just like you if they are cut, and they have the same bodily functions as you or any average person!
EVERYONE, regardless of race, culture, stature, or gender, experiences love, sorrow, hatred, anger, etc. Why should their feelings be any more important than yours? It might be with people of a higher status, but why should it be any more valuable than YOUR feelings? The worth or standards they place on others are all comprised of self-made or self-induced values from their PERSONAL insights. Who's to say their self-imposed ranks are better than another's?
Try the half-empty-half-full (glass) approach! If you feel bad about a mistake you made, then concentrate on all of the other things that COULD have gone wrong but DIDN'T! If you have an ache or pain, be thankful that it's temporary and that it's not a terminal illness. If you are down about a financial concern, think of all the people who are truly living in poverty-stricken third-world countries or the like. If you get a parking place a mile away from the store's entrance, be thankful you have the ability to walk that far or even have a car to park!
Spend some time searching into real-life matters about people who truly live in despair, helplessness, mental or physical pain, and truly put yourself in that situation. Do something kind to an unsuspecting person, give a compliment to someone, or just find little opportunities in a day to be helpful or kind to others WITHOUT LOOKING AT WHAT'S IN IT FOR YOU or EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN. You might be surprised at how good you'll feel at the end of the day, and the positive side of things will become a natural part of your character.
Be patient and give it time. The rewards are worth the effort!
I joined a comedy club and after falling flat on my face so many times before getting good, I build a thick skin and more confidence and don't worry what people think, or judgmental of me.
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