What do you do when a family members mental?
she's targeting me for something that happened years ago.
I do not want to deal with it any longer it's ruining my whole life?
Answer:
First, step away from the situation and give yourself a break. You are entitled to peace of mind regardless of your family members illness. Then, if you haven't already, find your local office for NAMI, which is the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. They have support groups and educational classes for families of the mentally ill which are very supportive and can help you deal with any issue which may come up with your loved one. Please look them up and make a call to them. You really need support in learning how not to feel guilty, and other feelings your family member stirs up inside of you. Please call them.
consider moving away
consider not responding to their calls
don't visit them
or have a heart-to-heart
I call her .Mom..
simple, confront her about it.
if you think there is a problem, just ask.
bring along some good points to bring up about it and state your case to them.
tell them that you are trying to move on with your life and that you are trying to get some place where you can think clearly.
ask them if they are targeting you for something and if so than ask what they are targeting you for (do the words "don't shoot the messenger" come to mind?).
if you have to, write it all down on a peice of paper and bring it along to the conversation.
but most importantly, make shure that they FEEL like they understand you and have them repeat it if necesary. make shure that they FEEL that you want this resolved.
it is diffrent to FEEL something, as opposed to just UNDERSTAND it.
if i wanted you to FEEL loved i'd give you a hug at random, if i wanted you to UNDERSTAND it i'd just tell you straight out "i love you"
thats the diffrence, make shure that they can do both, if they are targeting you and they understand what you say and feel what your emotions are on the subject then they will either target you worse or try to lighten the burden on you as much as possible. that depends on weather or not they are evil though. :P
just try to work things out best you can. if you cant then try and distance yourself from her because you dont deserve to be targeted for somthing that happend years ago. and somtimes you cant talk to mental people like you can with normal people because their illness just takes over somtimes. if she wont stop targeting you and and its having an impact in your life just simply lose contact with her
xx
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