Low Self Esteem for no apparent reason?
Answer:
It sounds as if your low self esteem is not for no apparent reason after all. from what you have said, I get the idea that you spend a lot of time comparing yourself negatively to others and beat yourself up for not measuring up to an unrealistic set of standards. It is no wonder that your self esteem would suffer as a result!
I don't know your religious preference, but since you mentioned God,I will take liberty and say that if you do believe in God, you could find a basis for true self-esteem through your faith. I could elaborate on it if you want and recommend you some books, but don't want to overstep my bounds.
Try to make a conscious effort to listen to the things you are telling yourself. e.g. "I'm not as pretty/thin/charming as her" "I never stick up for myself" etc. When you catch yourself thinking these things, correct yourself by replacing it with a positive, self-affirming statement. As corny as it may sound, tape these to your bathroom mirror, in your car, wherever you can see them first thing in your day, and already have a positive mindset in place. I think you will begin to see a change. Hope that was helpful!
This is tough. I have the same problem. I will check your posting again later what others have to say about it.
if you find out ..let me know...ur whole situation is the same as mine..except im not married..but i have a man in my life that is commited to me..but i am very insecure around women that are fake..i am successful..single mother..have a house..car..everything anyone could ever want all on my own...but still i drive my self into a self caused depression because of this..keep ur head up..it will get better..
ah .. so u are a lucky B!!
just enjoy being what u are hun!!...
Low self esteem is caused because of concentrating on ones self and comparison with others. There will always be someone prettier, smarter and richer than you. You can not change this.
Move your thoughts to others and their needs. And there are many. This will give you the comfort that you need to overcome self-ish-ness. God loves you just as you are. This is all of the esteem that you need. God bless.
I'm glad that you aren't trying to find the solution in a bottle or a pill. I commend you for that.
Self-esteem was an issue for me as well and from the standpoint of today it seems like a lifetime ago that I had the same issues that you have described.
I went through a period of "people-pleasing" to such a degree that it felt like that was my duty. The paradox is that I was a very selfish person and reasoned that if I acted the opposite, my life would be proportionally better.
That didn't work. I have found self-esteem in not letting a conversation get away from me. I don't mean to control it, but to not be controlled by it, or the person to be more accurate. Your opinion is yours and people will have theirs. No one is "right" or "wrong" in their opinions.
It was a surprise for me to discover that people who are loud, obnoxious, or always trying to prove how "right" they are usually are people with low self-esteem. I mean, I was truly amazed because I did a personal inventory and found that I could recall moments of confidence that were overruled by my attempts at people-pleasing.
What I am trying to say is that you have what it takes, it isn't that you are lacking any human ingredient to be more confident. You have to examine why you feel the way you do in discussions, especially why you feel the need to discuss opinions, who you have discussions with, and the nature of the subjects that you are talking about.
No matter which religion you are of, just pray for acceptance of your feelings. What ever you pray to will "cover your back" and walk with you. Don't expect the world overnight, something like this takes time to evolve or develop. And tell yourself as many times as you feel the need to that you have as much right to be here as anyone else. In time, you will have a moment to yourself and realize just how far you have come.
Please check out www.selfesteem4women.com. This is a great website for women with self esteem issues and you will thoroughly enjoy working on your self esteem with the lessons there. You even get a test (free) to see just where you are and what issues are the most bothersome for you.
Would you treat a 5 year old the way that you treat yourself- emotinoally, mentally and physicall?
I've began having the compassion and love that I would have for my 5 year old self. Whenever that mean parent voice goes off in my head, I start correcting it with positive things about me and whatever the situation is.
Take care of You hun
And if you have any questions, just get in touch with me
At times, I think we all suffer from self esteem issues. Sometimes it helps to read about it, sometimes talking to someone will help.
There's some good information at http://boostselfesteem.webexpertinfo.com... that may have some answers for you.
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