For anyone who has been in a relationship with an anti-social or bipolar mate?
How did you survive the relationship? How long did it last? Are they pretty much hopeless and what have been the lasting affects on you and your family?
Answer:
My husband of 30 yrs is bipolar... only found this our about 2 yrs ago was diagnosed with depression in 1997 and had to change his med about every 3 yrs... Bipolar is something that is not cured only managed... we found that lithium helps him the most..to keep him level. the past 6 months have been rough... he has cancer and can not be on the bipolar med during cancer treatments. The lasting affects for us are we are not together sexuality as a couple.. the meds effect his sex drive/interest , so that part of our life is null and void. We take every day 1 at a time.
Find your partner a good shrink and chart the meds to see what works... it can take a while to find a combination of meds to help.. for my husband it was almost a year of high and lows.
Bipolar, anti-social people, like myself, have no ability to have a working relationship with someone who is not able to understand them. If a friend or family member, significant other, whatever, is really set on making the relationship work, it can but they have to know right at the start that it is full of surprises, ups and downs, etc. An idea of a surprise might be going to the movies for a date. The BP/AS one might be ready to walk out the door and suddenly get hit with an episode that makes them want to forget all about going and maybe they won't even call to break the date, they just don't go. The only way to really work it out with them is to put all you have into it. Most people don't want to do that. If you don't want to do that, for God's sake and the sake of the person who suffers, just leave them alone. You can't shock them into reality or talk them out of their disorder. It is a real element of their life and it isn't going to just disappear just like cancer doesn't just disappear.
It is my understanding that anti-social disorder and bipolar disorder are two different things: bipolar, to me, is someone who exhibits signs of manic depression, whereas anti-social disorder is sort of a catchall phrase nowadays that people sometimes use to describe someone who is a sociopath. I have never had a relationship with either but my brother has an anti-social personality disorder (so I have been told). What this amounts to, in the real world, is that he has no conscience and is incapable of feeling guilt. He seems to have no concept of right or wrong. Still to this day the repercussions of this on me and my family are pretty awful. As far as bipolar disorder goes, one of my best friends has it, and as long as he stays on his meds he's fine. He has a long-term partner who he's been with for years and they seem really happy.
If you are talking about clinically diagnosed bi polar or anti-social disorders...it takes an extreme amount of patience and understanding to be with someone who has this! These people can often drain you emotionally! Doctor prescribed medications can often "balance" and normalize their behavior , but people with bipolar disorder will go off the medications much of the time because of the possible side affects or what they feel is "dulling" their personality! It can truly be a roller coaster and it would be wise to weigh the pros and cons for staying or leaving this relationship! Good luck...
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Answer:
My husband of 30 yrs is bipolar... only found this our about 2 yrs ago was diagnosed with depression in 1997 and had to change his med about every 3 yrs... Bipolar is something that is not cured only managed... we found that lithium helps him the most..to keep him level. the past 6 months have been rough... he has cancer and can not be on the bipolar med during cancer treatments. The lasting affects for us are we are not together sexuality as a couple.. the meds effect his sex drive/interest , so that part of our life is null and void. We take every day 1 at a time.
Find your partner a good shrink and chart the meds to see what works... it can take a while to find a combination of meds to help.. for my husband it was almost a year of high and lows.
Bipolar, anti-social people, like myself, have no ability to have a working relationship with someone who is not able to understand them. If a friend or family member, significant other, whatever, is really set on making the relationship work, it can but they have to know right at the start that it is full of surprises, ups and downs, etc. An idea of a surprise might be going to the movies for a date. The BP/AS one might be ready to walk out the door and suddenly get hit with an episode that makes them want to forget all about going and maybe they won't even call to break the date, they just don't go. The only way to really work it out with them is to put all you have into it. Most people don't want to do that. If you don't want to do that, for God's sake and the sake of the person who suffers, just leave them alone. You can't shock them into reality or talk them out of their disorder. It is a real element of their life and it isn't going to just disappear just like cancer doesn't just disappear.
It is my understanding that anti-social disorder and bipolar disorder are two different things: bipolar, to me, is someone who exhibits signs of manic depression, whereas anti-social disorder is sort of a catchall phrase nowadays that people sometimes use to describe someone who is a sociopath. I have never had a relationship with either but my brother has an anti-social personality disorder (so I have been told). What this amounts to, in the real world, is that he has no conscience and is incapable of feeling guilt. He seems to have no concept of right or wrong. Still to this day the repercussions of this on me and my family are pretty awful. As far as bipolar disorder goes, one of my best friends has it, and as long as he stays on his meds he's fine. He has a long-term partner who he's been with for years and they seem really happy.
If you are talking about clinically diagnosed bi polar or anti-social disorders...it takes an extreme amount of patience and understanding to be with someone who has this! These people can often drain you emotionally! Doctor prescribed medications can often "balance" and normalize their behavior , but people with bipolar disorder will go off the medications much of the time because of the possible side affects or what they feel is "dulling" their personality! It can truly be a roller coaster and it would be wise to weigh the pros and cons for staying or leaving this relationship! Good luck...
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