How to change one's personality?
Consider this: A child who used to be fun, talkative, and (somewhat) outgoing, but went through some hardships in life and became shy, boring, and (at times) be pretty negative. How may this person go back to his/her oldself or become more fun, positive, and outgoing?
If s/he wants to get out of his/her rut, what are some specific ways that s/he can do that?
One suggestion would be to constantly watch movies of people who s/he wants to be and emulate them. What else can s/he do?
Answer:
I strongly urge you to NOT have the child try to put on a fake personality.
Besides, those portrayed in entertainment are not only unrealistic, but obnoxious -- do you really think she'd be better off acting like them?
More importantly, trying to fake a personality is just a bad idea. What people need is not to be fake, but to be who they most truly are. That's what's healthy.
After all, it's not just the outward behavior that's important, but whether the child becomes happy again.
I mean, faking happiness while dying inside is no solution.
I would recommend therapy, so she can come to grips with the hardships and be able to regain her natural personality.
What would be best would be child-centered play therapy, as described in Play Therapy, and Dibs, both by Virginia Axline.
It's amazing how children can heal from experiences that have hurt or crushed them, when allowed to express themselves in a context in which they are understood, and their feelings and struggles accepted.
This gives them a chance to bring out and rethink what happened and how to get beyond those experiences.
This is what lets their natural selves shine through again.
..It sounds like the experiences sort of "broke her spirit," that she learned the world isn't such a hopeful, happy place...a hard thing for a child.
Her personality hasn't changed, however. It's her optimism...she is discouraged.
I recommend that you arrange some experiences that are designed to produce a happy result, something that will produce deep satisfaction. Such as...
- A trip to a park that features animals
- An outing with other kids her own age
- Learn a new skill, like riding a bike, a sport or musical instrument, with lots of appreciation and encouragement...let her choose
- Be around funny, fun or loving people
The main thing is, be a good listener and pick up what she may be interested in, then support and encourage - as you would any child
i wish we could change all we want.
Maybe she can get into the things that she did before the hardships came. Whatever made her happy before...to help bring back some of those good feelings and memories. Also she def needs to get into some counceling to help get over these hardships she has faced. What are the hardships, if you dont mind me asking? It would be easier to answer your question if we knew.
A person like that needs a lot of positive interaction. Compliment him/her as often as you can. Take someone he/she can talk with and go walking sometimes all you need is to feel free to talk.
A lot of this childs problem sounds emotional so it would be best to bring everything positive into his/her life that you can.
Just leave her be. Do not create false situations and conditions. Time is a great healer, and it will heal her.
if he/she really wants to get out of their rut it will happen.I suggest doing new things with a friend or friends, we all have dreams of things we would love to try now would be the time..maybe volunteering would help also, to reach out and help some other then themselves and in that way rediscovering themselves
It's hard to change a personality once you've grown up with it. It works like a habit. Just keep doing it until it becomes a daily thing for you.
just satrt thinking of positive things if you keep thinking bad things you will just be negative all the time
and just smile everywhere and think people love you and soon they will okay
Reassurance. Keep giving her the reassurance that she needs right now. Just watching movies might work, or it just may make her more depressed that she can't feel as happy as those people she sees. But reassurance that she is still loved and cherished will help greatly.
do i know u? cuz u just described me.
well heres the thing. I was always told to shut up or that i was disrespectful or stuff like that from an evil stepdad, so then whereas i used to be funny, crazy, and outgoing and every1 i met was my friend, now i've become quiet, almost shy, and i always think that ppl hate me. and i hate myself for it!! chances are that this kid misses having fun too. so 1st off, let them know. one of my best friends confronted me about it, she said she missed how i used to have fun. and altho that may seem like she was being mean, it was VERY helpfull! I realized that sum ppl out there still cared enough to notice that i was different and i felt like i mattered. but it also made me realize that ppl like to be around sum1 who can have fun. so u might consider talking to the kid. dont be negative, just let s/he know that you miss how they used to have fun! and then leave it at that. its enough to let them know they matter and that ppl prefer joy to depression!!
let the kid know that u want to help! dont let them feel like their on their own. but dont say it. live it! just be ready to talk and encourage. whatever u do, dont dwell on the past and how sry u r for them. it'll just make them more depressed as they begin to think that this sadness gets them attention.
and the above worked for me! I'm still kinda shy and quiet, but sumtimes (like if i'm hyper) when i get out there, i realize how much fun it is! so just let this kid do that sumtimes! do fun stuff like parties, a day at the park, and pursue their interests! if they like photography, grab a disposable camera and go out to a state park and let them take pics however and wherever they want! anything like that.
so yeah, sry its so long. but to wrap it all up, just be there for them and remind them how fun life can still be, even tho there is a time for being serious.
God bless!
you can change ones personality by just hanging around them . Now when you hang around them you can ask them if they ever tried any thing else other than what they do . If they say no not really then ask them to play a game that they really do not play and do it .
A positive child turned negative because of some hardships? S/he probably saw a cruel part of life and lost interest in the world. It's about high time s/he gets motivated to live his/her life to the full.
Well, there's plenty of things s/he needs now but what she needs most is someone who cares; someone willing enough to be a role model. Be there for him/her in good times and in bad. Be yourself, your positive self to be exact, always be there to inspire her to be herself as well. Let her know you miss her old personality.
Enroll him/her to music lesson; teach her new stuff; socialize; meet people; make new friends; get out!; do anything new. The last thing s/he needs is to feel lonely. When that happens to a person (myself too) who is particularly negative, the person usually ends up being more negative. Engage him/her in interactive activities. Who knows, the child may be back to his/her usual self again. Goodluck!
you have to change the way you think the way you look at life and look at every little thing you do and others do
changing your personality is changing who you are .....fully & totally.....
not possible, you cannot change them.
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If s/he wants to get out of his/her rut, what are some specific ways that s/he can do that?
One suggestion would be to constantly watch movies of people who s/he wants to be and emulate them. What else can s/he do?
Answer:
I strongly urge you to NOT have the child try to put on a fake personality.
Besides, those portrayed in entertainment are not only unrealistic, but obnoxious -- do you really think she'd be better off acting like them?
More importantly, trying to fake a personality is just a bad idea. What people need is not to be fake, but to be who they most truly are. That's what's healthy.
After all, it's not just the outward behavior that's important, but whether the child becomes happy again.
I mean, faking happiness while dying inside is no solution.
I would recommend therapy, so she can come to grips with the hardships and be able to regain her natural personality.
What would be best would be child-centered play therapy, as described in Play Therapy, and Dibs, both by Virginia Axline.
It's amazing how children can heal from experiences that have hurt or crushed them, when allowed to express themselves in a context in which they are understood, and their feelings and struggles accepted.
This gives them a chance to bring out and rethink what happened and how to get beyond those experiences.
This is what lets their natural selves shine through again.
..It sounds like the experiences sort of "broke her spirit," that she learned the world isn't such a hopeful, happy place...a hard thing for a child.
Her personality hasn't changed, however. It's her optimism...she is discouraged.
I recommend that you arrange some experiences that are designed to produce a happy result, something that will produce deep satisfaction. Such as...
- A trip to a park that features animals
- An outing with other kids her own age
- Learn a new skill, like riding a bike, a sport or musical instrument, with lots of appreciation and encouragement...let her choose
- Be around funny, fun or loving people
The main thing is, be a good listener and pick up what she may be interested in, then support and encourage - as you would any child
i wish we could change all we want.
Maybe she can get into the things that she did before the hardships came. Whatever made her happy before...to help bring back some of those good feelings and memories. Also she def needs to get into some counceling to help get over these hardships she has faced. What are the hardships, if you dont mind me asking? It would be easier to answer your question if we knew.
A person like that needs a lot of positive interaction. Compliment him/her as often as you can. Take someone he/she can talk with and go walking sometimes all you need is to feel free to talk.
A lot of this childs problem sounds emotional so it would be best to bring everything positive into his/her life that you can.
Just leave her be. Do not create false situations and conditions. Time is a great healer, and it will heal her.
if he/she really wants to get out of their rut it will happen.I suggest doing new things with a friend or friends, we all have dreams of things we would love to try now would be the time..maybe volunteering would help also, to reach out and help some other then themselves and in that way rediscovering themselves
It's hard to change a personality once you've grown up with it. It works like a habit. Just keep doing it until it becomes a daily thing for you.
just satrt thinking of positive things if you keep thinking bad things you will just be negative all the time
and just smile everywhere and think people love you and soon they will okay
Reassurance. Keep giving her the reassurance that she needs right now. Just watching movies might work, or it just may make her more depressed that she can't feel as happy as those people she sees. But reassurance that she is still loved and cherished will help greatly.
do i know u? cuz u just described me.
well heres the thing. I was always told to shut up or that i was disrespectful or stuff like that from an evil stepdad, so then whereas i used to be funny, crazy, and outgoing and every1 i met was my friend, now i've become quiet, almost shy, and i always think that ppl hate me. and i hate myself for it!! chances are that this kid misses having fun too. so 1st off, let them know. one of my best friends confronted me about it, she said she missed how i used to have fun. and altho that may seem like she was being mean, it was VERY helpfull! I realized that sum ppl out there still cared enough to notice that i was different and i felt like i mattered. but it also made me realize that ppl like to be around sum1 who can have fun. so u might consider talking to the kid. dont be negative, just let s/he know that you miss how they used to have fun! and then leave it at that. its enough to let them know they matter and that ppl prefer joy to depression!!
let the kid know that u want to help! dont let them feel like their on their own. but dont say it. live it! just be ready to talk and encourage. whatever u do, dont dwell on the past and how sry u r for them. it'll just make them more depressed as they begin to think that this sadness gets them attention.
and the above worked for me! I'm still kinda shy and quiet, but sumtimes (like if i'm hyper) when i get out there, i realize how much fun it is! so just let this kid do that sumtimes! do fun stuff like parties, a day at the park, and pursue their interests! if they like photography, grab a disposable camera and go out to a state park and let them take pics however and wherever they want! anything like that.
so yeah, sry its so long. but to wrap it all up, just be there for them and remind them how fun life can still be, even tho there is a time for being serious.
God bless!
you can change ones personality by just hanging around them . Now when you hang around them you can ask them if they ever tried any thing else other than what they do . If they say no not really then ask them to play a game that they really do not play and do it .
A positive child turned negative because of some hardships? S/he probably saw a cruel part of life and lost interest in the world. It's about high time s/he gets motivated to live his/her life to the full.
Well, there's plenty of things s/he needs now but what she needs most is someone who cares; someone willing enough to be a role model. Be there for him/her in good times and in bad. Be yourself, your positive self to be exact, always be there to inspire her to be herself as well. Let her know you miss her old personality.
Enroll him/her to music lesson; teach her new stuff; socialize; meet people; make new friends; get out!; do anything new. The last thing s/he needs is to feel lonely. When that happens to a person (myself too) who is particularly negative, the person usually ends up being more negative. Engage him/her in interactive activities. Who knows, the child may be back to his/her usual self again. Goodluck!
you have to change the way you think the way you look at life and look at every little thing you do and others do
changing your personality is changing who you are .....fully & totally.....
not possible, you cannot change them.
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