HELP!! Serious Question...?
Answer:
This has to do with your view of yourself. People who like people who treat them poorly, view these people as loving them because they have the insight to know that you deserve to be treated poorly. In other words, you have a poor self-image.
This is hard to change. When nice guys treat you with respect, you think they do not relate to you,otherwise they would not be so good to you.
If you look at your parents, you will see that one or both treated you like you were undeserving.
Change that perception of yourself and you will find the good guys attractive again.
Good luck.
seek therapy.
From what you mention, i dont think a guy next door will do for you. You need someone challenging and someone who can take charge. Since you are well established yourself you are looking for someone who is dynamic. A plain good looking vanilla guy may attract you once but is not a fair match for your personality. This is just my opnion!
i hate this answer because it's so like the answer almost everyone gives...but my mom told me this & she was right...the right guy for you will find you eventually or visa versa. you can't rush love & you can't look for it or expect to get it in the wrong places ya know.but keep your head up I souly belive that there is someone out there for everyone... I found my someone after dating close to 10 of the wrong guys so don't give up just yet...instead enjoy the single life..&& keep doing the good things ur doing..you sound like avery good successful driven person so ur bound to find the right person!
Exploring your question with a counselor is a good idea. You have good reasons for being attracted to the 'bad boys'. But it is worth sorting out just why that is. Some of it is likely due to your own family of origin experiences, but also some of it seems to be something that lots of women experience. Trying to understand how you function and how to get to a place of balance is all part of what good counselors do.
This is worth the time and effort to if you want to be in a long-term serious relationship, because, by definition, the 'bad boys' aren't so good to be in these with.
Get a hold of the movie "The Secret" and watch it intently. Pay attention to everything they are saying because it's all very true and meaningful.
Then go onto the web site of EFT.com (Emotional Freedom Techniques) which is acupuncture that has been 'evolved' by tapping on the points.
Your problem with guys is that you're not on the same vibrational level they are, and that's where they need to be with you.
I'm telling you the truth...if you do these two things...you will find the love of your life; guaranteed.
I found for me that I attracted men that were just as sick as I was. As I started to work on myself, and learned to love myself, I began to attract better men. It would have been sad for the healthy guy to come along and me be to mentally sick to be with him. The right guy is out there for you. When the time is right, you will find him and it will all happen easily and without much effort. Just have faith in who you are because we attract what we are. Anyway that is how it worked for me.
Ha... I've seen this a number of times... And they say that the first step to a cure is realizing you have a problem. Good Luck
Although you say you are pretty, smart and all of the other good things you really truly don't believe it. You clearly have self-esteem issues and feel you are not good enough for a "good guy"!
Once you start to love yourself, then and only then will you find someone thats good for you.
Of course you will find a good guy. Don't worry all you need to do is hang in there. Keep looking and sooner or later you will definitely find someone. Not me of course cause you are too old but someone. ^_^
Anyway, guys like to tease and a really attractive guy will kind of ignore you and do inconsiderate things... Kind of it will totally attract you and get you interrested but while containing a certain courtesy toward you.
So therefore just turn the tides and do the same back... Trust me IT WORKS WONDERS!
sn't itWell, what is the family history telling you, do you want to be yourself or follow suit? Do you want drama or happiness?
You only have one life to live!! Live for your needs or others?
Tough one,? Simple live the way you want to live, be happy, but remember you leave a memory/legacy behind you
Always think ahead- Do you have any kids? What will tyhey have to deal with- be judged by? Yes you are entilrd to a life but -so are they!! I probaly am way off course. Just my thoughts at this moment- please hold no grudges!
I think that you and many other women will be attracted to the the bad boy type and then and only then will you realize that being married to a murderer, rapist, child abuser, kiddie porn director, thief, and lyer is not a great choice. Men are Very good or very bad and very few in-between. When you reject the good guys it sends a powerful message and they will try in every way to be a bad boy just to have someone be attracted to them. You also give the bad boys permission to do what ever they want. You will never find a good guy that you will have a healthy relationship with. The teacher I had in high-school who taught this subject said "you attract what you are not what you want"!
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