Your honest answer-what would you do? No sarcasm please...?
Answer:
you can seek help but ultumatley you need to answer these questions for yourself
Call a divorce lawyer.
Seriously you need to get this guy away from you, I'm sorry to say it but he is scum. Any woman that would put up with this for this long is a woman that deserves to be loved by a gental kind hearted individual. Leave him for your sake and your childrens because you dont want them ending up like him. Get a restraining order too because you know guys like him will be hostel afterward.
I'd break it off. As much as it hurts now, it will hurt less than if you stay with him. Do it for your child. She or he shouldn't have to see you go through this, and they should see you as a happy person, not always depressed or hurt.
Personally, I would leave him. I'd stop talking to him and move away. I'd start fresh. He's not worth your time and I guarantee he'll continue this behavior.
I would love myself more than I loved him... realize that I had given it my best... recognize that it was his hang up and not mine... believe that i deserved better... make a positive change before it was too late. go be happy....
You do not and should not continue to be dependent on him. Sorry your in that situation, but as long s you tolerate it it will escalate. whenever you feel like talking email me
He sounds like an ***. Move on
Don't be a co-dependent. He has real problems and you and your daughter are not the answer. I would get away from him ~ divorce him. He will have to pay child support in order to see his daughter. You both will be better off. He is not a responsible person and he is not grown up. He will suffer the consequences of his actions otherwise he will repeat and repeat then over and over again. And you will be the victom. Get out.
Like you said you are numb. You have seen it all, been through it all. You are DONE with it all. Aren't YOU ?
You will find someone who cherishes you and your daughter and yuo deserve a better life. You won't need therapy ifyou get out while the getting is good. Save yourself and your daughter. Nobody else can.
In all seriousness, you have to confront him. Prepare yourself, and lay down what needs to be done to save the marriage. That would be best for the both of you. You might still have feelings, but if he does those things repeatedly you have to end it.
If not for yourself, think of your young daughter, and how she will end up being raised in a household with those things happening around her.
This is my advice.
Please cut your ;losses with this guy. The next time he hurts you who is to say how far he will go before it will be too late. Please be done with him and walk away!!!
I think that guy is suffering from a psychological illness (yes, I think he's mental). If I were you, I would tell him the truth that I no longer trust him. If he wants my trust he'll have to earn it 'cause an 'I'm sorry' -no matter how sincere it SOUNDS- just doesn't cut it.
I'll tell him all the pain he's caused and tell him if he wants to be part of my life again, then he should go get help, fix his attitude and then, maybe -just maybe- I'll think about giving him another chance.
Think about your daughter, do you really want someone like that around her while she's just growing up?
Good luck with that.
leave him alone, anyone who treats you like this has no respect for you
he is scum and you can do better when your ready to move on... it will come to you
wow can't answer that cause i'm not married
rid yourself of that loser
I am truly sorry, you seem to be a good person,you deserve a better life . I will divorce him and get on with my life.
Wow. It sounds like you have given him many chances to change his behavior. I would recommend counseling for both of you. But, regardless of what he chooses to do, counseling for you is a must. You may not be able to change his behavior.
Years ago I was having a lot of issues with my husband. I was pregnant with our first child and felt like I could not end our marriage at that time. I wanted to get counseling for us both. He refused to go. I went alone. It was the best thing Icould have done. I was able to talk to a non-judgemental, supportive person who helped me find options to change things that were in my control. He also validated my feelings and discussed the option of ending the marriage if my husband refused to participate as an equal partner in our relationship. I saw myself as empowered and much less a victim. It helped me get through a very difficult time.
I hope you can find someone who can also help you with some of your issues. Good luck and God bless.
If i was in your place, I would leave his nasty ***, no matter what he says! Hun, you need to get out of this distructive relationship right now, before he hurts you anymore, and before he starts hurting your daughter. You have to do this for her, so she can have a good childhood. Because the most important time in a persons life is their childhood. Thats the time when the rest of the persons life is decided. I hope you know that most criminals, junkies or just plain unhappy people got messed up when they were kids! Save your self and your daughter! Get out while you can, usually people like him get violent and he will take it out on you and your daughter!
You need to be strong and leave/divorce him. It will never get better, only worse. You seem to realize this so you shouldn't even 2nd guess it. It will also be better for your young daughter, she doesn't need to be in a bad environment. Don't let him sweet talk you, stand strong and do whats right.
hey yo!
hmm, in such situations, i would find myself forgiving the person first. Usually i cant bear the burden to hold grudges with people, but knowing the other person's attitude to dealing with things, i would anticipate and act accordingly.
For example, if he asks for encouragement, why not? they are free. What' more, freeing yourself from the bitterness makes you more happy than him. But when he eventually asks for Financial encouragement, just give him advices on how to settle himself from the situation that he landed himself in. No point feeding him and not teaching him how to fish.
regarding your marriage issue, you have to settle it maturely and effectively yourself because you have a daughter. See a marriage counselor or talk to another friend for advice. If the abuse continues even though you are putting in effort and he isnt, point that out to him and ask him what he wants ultimately from this marriage.
Personally, I think a "time out" would be wise. He needs to be on his own for now.
As you easily notice, actions speak louder than words. He could change but .for most of us, change isnt easy. Give him 6 months to do so. If he fails miserably, then its time to move on.
First you need to get him out of your life..so get a divorce.It will feel better without someone treating you that way. And if you need to see a therapist please do that as well. You should of left your marriage already. Dont encourage him in any way he only apologizes to try to get to you. The best of luck to you.
Get rid of him and find someone who is a decent human being and knows how to treat you. This man is a basket case and needs years and years of therapy which I am sure he denies he needs.
You need to seek outside help. You need people who are outsiders and some professionals to help to guide you in divorcing this man. There is no way he is going to please you in the future if he has been disappointing you throughout the entire marriage. Unless you want to end up on Dr. Phil, call a free self-help phone number and ask specifically for free or low cost therapy or divorce counselors, women's shelter homes, etc. in your area. I would pack up my bags, my kid/s and go someplace he will NEVER THINK TO FIND YOU. You are probably right to not trust him and you shouldn't. So keep your distance from him emotionally, financially, and most importantly, physically. Be sure to have a separate account that is in no way tied to him, and seriously sit down with a lawyer and discuss the process for divorcing someone who is abusive (verbally or physically). Depending on the abuse, it may be wise for you to get a restraining order or some sort of protection in addition to a regular divorce. Don't waste another second of your life living with a man who is no longer right for you. Take action ASAP and you will feel so much better after moving on with your life. one of my favorite sites is google. go to google.com, click maps, then businesses. put in your address, and in the other column type in "Women's Shelter, or Staffing Agency, or Divorce Lawyer, Social Worker, etc." You can also do this on the main www.google.com search engine page. Contact as many people as possible until you can find someone who is willing to assist you in getting a divorce and becoming financially independent, and again, most importantly, living a life that is safe without this man. If he has hit you I would goto a hospital immediately to the emergency room despite when he hit you and ask hospital workers to assist you in finding help coping and escaping an abusive husband.
Listen..honest to God when it comes to men words are just words. Men are all about action. He has already shown you and your daughter how he feels about you, Re- read your question Right there you tell me how he shows he cares. Now the real question is don't you and your daughter deserve to be with a man that shows love instead of showing hate? Please remember that your daughter will pick a relationship like the one her mother has with her father..Also remember that you can't be with the one that loves you if you are with the one that wants to punishing you for all the bad things that has happen and that does happen to him.
I believe you deserve better and I know that your daughter does
Honey, If you are as miserable as you sound, and he was thrown in the slammer for abuse, I truly believe I would start divorce proceedings and leave town. If he's mean, he's mean and won't change. It's called a "control " problem.. Good luck.
My question to u is why do you continue to allow yourself to have to deal with this person?
You are a very private person. You have both you questions and answers not showing. So I really have no way of knowing if what you are saying is really what is happening, or are you just wanting us to sympathize with you.
If the latter is true then you are looking at a problem called, "secondary gain", and would be well advised to see a mental health professional. No big deal just something you need help with.
If that is not the case, then he has left you no option, but to leave and move on with your life. In that case a restraining order maybe called for.
I'd bet you big money that you knew you were making a terrible mistake by getting involved with him in the first place. So now comes the hard part, admit that you have supported a man controlling and abusing you, and that only you have the power to control your own life, and the life of your child.
My advice to you is to follow your gut instinct to leave and never return. Don't put your daughter in the middle of your indecisiveness about leaving him either. If he was worth his weight in salt, then he would be a good father. That's something that you can't make someone do or convince them to do by staying around to 'prove' your love and concern for him. The reason why he can't understand why you're not supportive is because you've been his verbal/physical punching bag and toilet for 5.5 years...he's used to doing what he's been doing and since you've let him do it to you and your daughter, he's spoiled on it.
It's ok, and you'll be more than ok. Go on and live a happy life with your beautiful child. Just be patient and loving with yourself. It's alright to recognize what bad choices you've made. It's also alright to move on now to a more positive life.
Bless you and your daughter.
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