Suicide... Do you think she needs counseling?

hi there people... i was looking at some files and i saw this one which my daughter had wrote... do you think she needs therapy, or is this a teenage thing??

the "letter" is too long so i have put it in a picture type

http://s107.photobucket.com/albums/m286/...

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m286/...

<a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m286/... border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a>

Answer:
Hello friend...

Thank you for asking the question and not just brushing it off. Whenever anyone talks of suicide with reference to themself, regardless of the context, it should be taken seriously. Your daughter is *probably* just expressing some teenage angst about her relationship to her parents. There's a lot within the lines of her poem which express pretty clearly how she feels. BUT, the fact that she *feels* like (or has fantasies about) doing violence to herself in order to "make you happy," cannot go ignored. You MUST find a way to reach her.

You can start by responding to the meaning or feelings behind her words, rather than the words themselves. She's feeling alone, abandoned, scared, hurt. You may believe she has no reason to feel this way because YOU know you love her and don't do the things she's accused you of in her poem.but that's not what's important here. She feels a particular way and that's where you need to start. She may very well need counseling. But please be aware that what she's feeling is within the context of the entire family; I think family counseling might be good for all of you.

Whatever you do, take your daughter seriously. I share my own story with you as a caution: 13 years ago, my oldest sister took her own life. She had attempted it many, many times before but always managed to find a way out before the pills took full effect (she'd call someone before she passed out completely). She did it so many times that we all started to just believe she did it for attention. But then one night, she succeeded. We've all struggled with our own regrets over it: what could I have done? what should I have done? if only I had...

Don't let yourself get to that point. Reach out to your daughter today. Let her know that you care by listening. Just listen. God bless you.

She is probably trying to express herself creatively, you should lead her in that direction. Tell her she writes great, encourage her to pursue her writing, not everyone has that talent. Show her what she is good at, help her develop it and make her feel worthwhile. Sign her up for a writing class, buy her writing books or poetry books. Tell her she has a talent and you want her to use it.

I know how she feels most of the first answer is good except don't take her ask her if she wants to go. It sounds like she is desperately trying to get some positive reinforcement and you need to give her attention and see all the good that she is doing. Also you need to let her live and make mistakes everyone does and it is much better to learn while you are younger and have support if she needs help up. If she doesn't she wont be able to grow and become a responsible adult and it will be a lot harder for her later. Don't make her go to therapy she is taking just talking about suicide to release the feelings that she is feeling. She is in a lot of pain and just wants to be loved and treated like she is important you can do a lot of that for her. Try not to fight as fighting doesn't solve anything but listen to what she is telling you and notice what she is doing. This girl has put a lot into trying to make you like her more so take her and her feelings seriously and tell her you love her and she will get better.

She is definitely having "growing pains," and I think it would be good to get her to express herself and see what is going on in her head. She is trying to please, yet learning to pull away and be independent. Tough phase for many children. All the peer pressure is mixed in, too.

If you were snooping, she may be furious for you reading it. She could have also left it 'exposed' subconsciously, hoping you would find it. Parents sometimes NEED to snoop to protect their children and help them make right choices. Are you the person she is referring to or the other parent. I would be asking where the other parent fits in.

Who is she most comfortable talking to? Does she have a couple of close friends to bounce things off of ?

I would ask to talk to the school counselor or a licensed counselor and get their opinion. Take the letter in case they want to see it.

Also, remember that if you set ground rules that she fights and protests over, you tell her that if someone pressures her into something or asks her to get involved in anything not good for her, to tell her friends that you will take the blame. She's going to stretch the boundaries. You set the boundaries. It tells her you care about her. If she can't do what her friends are doing, tell her to blame your rules. Tell her you love her. Be the adult and stay calm in rebellion; in fact, expect rebellion. Better that then in trouble or even worse. All those crazy hormones are pumping in, too. Come on, you were a teenager once, too.

Is she going to a church group, youth group, any kind of hobby club, school group activity , outside interests that are clean fun ? I hope so.

You are being a good Dad for getting ideas. If you have to question something like this, something is telling you "yes," and you need the proper guidance from an experienced person.

i read the letter it was good, she's problary just expressing herself, u can try askin her whats wrong and found out why she really feels that way. but if i was you i would get her help just in case.
when my mom found a letter that i had written she questioned about it.But it always helps if u ask.

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Suicide... Do you think she needs counseling?

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