HELP my brain think str8?
Answer:
Wow, dustin, I've felt out of control like that, plenty.
There really is no easy fix for what's going on with you. You might be thinking that someone may post something supportive, and that might make you feel better temporarily. It's likely, however, that the constant feeling of anxiety means you have, well, anxiety. That usually is something someone has to learn to manage throughout their lives. And it's managable, but not in the ways you probably want to hear about.
So, you're suicidal as well...that usually isn't a fleeting thing either. Rather it's progressive, the emotional instability that leads to suicidal thinking has probably been going on for some time...even though you probably didn't realize what was going on to predict this would happen. No one does.
I can sympathize, really, I can. I started smoking weed when I was about fourteen...that was right around the time I started having my first suicidal thoughts. I now know I had anxiety disorder,(panic, social anxiety) as a young child, but I didn't realize it then. I learned that self medicating with pot helped the anxiety, but at times also made it worse...but the fledgling addict in me wanted to stay in my sick thinking.
I went on with life...struggling off and on without much insight. I had periods where I was okay and felt 'normal' but under any stressful situations I'd melt down, then get drunk or high...I hung around with people who did the same things, so I thought that was normal. I really thought I was in control...oh yeah, I did. But year after year, I became less able to ward off the hangovers, physically, and really what happens to your body after you assault it daily with mind altering chemicals? I wish the answer was nothing but that just isn't so. Day after day I became sicker and sicker...until one day I lost it worse then I've ever lost it. Usually a drink or some kind of high could subdue me, but that didn't work anymore. I was panicked, suicidal and totally helpless to myself.
I gave in...I gave up...my ego gave up...I finally raised my hands up and asked the people who cared, who were healthy, what I could do to help myself. I saw a therapist, a psychiatrist...and yeah, that was frustrating as hell. After I started on meds for my depression I started feeling a little better, but I was still using. Things got worse again, and my husband 'outted' me to my therapist about my chemical use. I was so pissed. I had two choices, I could use my 'impressive' mental strategies that I had developed to totally dismiss the people that love me and were trying to help me...or I could drudgingly listen to what they had to say. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, really-- I had to admit to myself that the life I've been living since I could remember, was filled with wrong thinking and wrong actions. I went to AA, and there I found a lot of people like myself...good people who had a predisposition to things like anxiety and depression...those who, like me, didn't know how to deal with it as a child and young adult...we did what was available. We tried to cope, but what we did made us more sick.
Yep, it's gonna make you mad, no one gets this kind of help with out fighting and fighting it...that's a good sign that there's a problem, in fact. So, with that, I hope you can take something from my story. --May you have the courage to listen.
Dana
Dustin, you are welcome to email me at any time. I want to hear more about your story, your perspective, if you want to tell it.
I had a weed addict roomate at Job Corps, his behivior was pretty much as you describe yours...
maybe it is the weed never know
You need to find a psychiatrist that you can trust to give you some real answers you can use. Don't give up yet. There are others who can and will teach you skills to improve your life and possibly some medication to aid in your recovery. I have to throw this in: Marijuana manifests paranoia. Period. Find the Right Shrink. Please?
What are the common side effects of marijuana use?
The following are some of the common side effects of using marijuana:
Trouble remembering things
Sleepiness
Anxiety
Paranoia (feeling that people are “out to get you”)
Altered time perception
Using marijuana for a long time makes some people lose interest in school, work, relationships and other activities. It may also cause legal problems. Using marijuana can be especially dangerous in certain situations, such as when you are driving.
How can marijuana affect me physically?
The following are some of the common physical effects of marijuana:
Tremors (shaking)
Nausea
Headache
Coordination becoming worse
Breathing problems
Increased appetite
Reduced blood flow to the brain
Changes in the reproductive organs
Like tobacco, marijuana contains many chemicals that can hurt the lungs and cause cancer. One marijuana cigarette can cause more damage to the lungs than many tobacco cigarettes because marijuana has more tar in it and is usually smoked without filters.
paranoia, stress and anxiety are imaginary things... this is just but the way you chose to react on a particular situation that you are in... and guess what, you have the power and control over yourself not to chose these reactions... these are just but your monster and ghost you build to scare you and you chose to be scared... when you know you couldn't be if you only chose not to...
you know what... i guess you're too tight with yourself... loosen-up a bit... take a walk at down or at sunset and enjoy nature's view... just the nature's view not the people around or the noise they make and etc...
you enjoy being just by yourself, listen to soft music, jazz maybe but not the loud rock style, or anything that is loud. as desiderata says, these are vexations to your spirit and thus keeps you restless un-awarelly... it will relax your system... every time you wish to just sleep it all out, put a light soft music on for you to get used to its kind if you're not used to such kind of music... it really soothes the inner system and the soul...
try to be as independent of the weed as you can, face your own ghost and monsters without it till you can... then practice having a little trust and respect for yourself... from this will follow trust and respect for others... this will ease off the paranoia and anxiety over people...
try to ask yourself these:
1. why am i taking weeds? does it really help? is this the permanent solution that i want for my immediate problems?
2. what level of judgment do i trust myself to make? do i trust my self's judgment to believe what other people say?
3. who are the people i really believe in my heart i can trust? can i laugh with them? can i cry with them? can i get serious with them at any level/matter of conversation? can i have fun with them?
4. if i can have fun with them, can time with them be a substitute to taking weeds?
5. would i be strong enough to get help (any form of help) from them? if this is a yes, could i accept all their words no matter how it would hurt me because that is their perspective of things, irregardless of the fact whether their perspective of things matches mine... and can i be broadminded enough to accept the difference between our perspectives?
you said HELP... if you really think you need help... you'll try all these... or that you'll look for someone you can just talk all things out instead of relying to weeds...believe, talking things out with someone helps a lot... if you did all these believe in time you wouldn't even notice, you're thinking stright
Why do you trust the weed and not the words of those trying to give you help? The weed is not able to tell you anything. and it doesn't sort out your confusion because it's not able to.
The answers post by the user, for information only, FunQA.com does not guarantee the right.
More Questions and Answers: