How can i have more control over my feelings and life, peoples attitudes rub off on me way too easily?
sometimes i get pissed off way to easily when everyone is in a perfectly fine mood, because i feel like everyone is critiquing me and judging me only and that i cant do anything right. when i get in fights with my mom i feel like i can never be right so i blow up and just leave because she always has to be right and never listens or tries to understand what im saying. i need to know how to control my temper and how to let others not have such an impact on my mood and wellbeing
Answer:
Hey Hannah. Emotions can be contagious. I wouldn't feel too badly about that. At the same time, I think finding your own center is an admirable goal. I think Dottie is onto something. It is bothersome to most of us when someone is irritable with us, though we all have different degrees of reactivity, much of which isn't our fault. We are all born with a temperament that we don't choose. Much of life is about learning how to go about life with the temperament that we've got.
The books below will be helpful with the sorts of changes that you'd like to make. An important thing before anything else is to accept yourself just like you are before going about trying to change anything. Be patient with yourself. These sorts of changes are definitely doable, but they take persistence and definitely patience with ourselves. The patience helps us to not get discouraged.
you just have to make up your mind and do it!
buddha said, what you think you become! try to think positively and realize that when people are upset they generally dont go about handling it properly and hurt someone else... shrug it off, understand the truth of the situation and accept it, once you understand and accept things for what they are you will be on the path towards enlightenment...
thats my take on it anyway
Nothing can affect you unless you let it. Be strong.
i think most people are like you. we all pretend what other people say and do does not bother us,yet it does. its just the human condition we are who we are. and i firmly believe people can t and will never change
Don't internalize their attitude and actions. You have to learn to understand that those are their actions and behaviors not yours.
When you internalize others behaviors, you are giving away your strength and your angry for a problem that has nothing to do with you.
When someone around you is in one of those nasty attitudes that's a time for your to clear your mind and to focus on other things in your life. Meditation is an easy way to clear you mind of negative thoughts and to focus on something positive. Positive thinking will allow you to drown out other peoples issues and focus on your own happiness and well being.
In this day and age its really hard and there is alot of peer pressure. However you have to believe this. Picture it this way put a circle around you your arms lenght. Ok now thats your space what ever is in your space is what you have control of in your life. Consider it to be your own property. You are responsible for anything that comes in your yard. whatever is happening outside your yard is not your concern. Then put that together with how you react to to the outside things or experiences, still remembering you are in control of your yard. People all have diffent morals, values, and ways of doing things. We as humans want to control everything its natural way of life, however when we put expectations on people places or things we are now bringing their problems into our space which faces us to deal with stress, disappointment, and soon resentment. Dont ever expect or the worse may happen, and foremost always know this life is short make it positive even when times are tough. Mabey that person is having a bad day themselves. Misery loves company so let it hang out by itself. Keep your head up and good luck.
You're not alone. It's just a matter of accepting the things you cannot change, discovering the things you can change, and developing the wisdom to know the difference. I retrieved the following from www.drhurd.com (Dr. Michael Hurd, Ph.D.): "I can choose how I will react to certain things and certain people today. It is true that my emotions happen automatically. But I can intervene with thought. For example, if I normally react with anger to upsetting behavior, I can intervene with the thought: 'This person is who she is. I don't have to like it or approve of it. But I can't help that this is how she is and this is how she deals with other people. When possible, I'll ignore her. Otherwise, I'll be civil to her but I will never allow her to take away what's mine -- including my good mood.' We don't have to be helpless over our emotions. The intervening thoughts we put into our emotional reactions make all the difference in the world."
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